Dark Prince

Ash
 
 I tried to breathe, but my lungs constricted as if the breath had been knocked out of me. Cold wind buffeted and ripped several strands of hair onto my face. The chill seeped through my trench coat and into my bones. Slowly, the sun inched over the horizon, as I drove past each tree, each house in my all black Pagani Zonda Cinque Roadster. Now I needed all my energy, all my resolve, to quell the sobs threatening to wrack my entire body. My heart wrenched and anger roared in my ears. I have to calm down. No, I need to. Instead, I just stared out the window with unseeing eyes feeling cold and empty. Walls I built up became my home. I was used to this, this feeling, not knowing the secret to my curse, the emptiness of death.
 
A small part of me cringed. Maybe I didn't want to know. Maybe I was better off in the dark, believing some bogus story my mind allowed myself to have. No. My anger swelled, blocking the pain, the uncertainty. No one was better off in the dark. Hadn't I learned that when my mother died. Hadn't I seen it again when Acey and Beau died? And again when everyone I ever knew died? All the deaths cheated me, left me in the dark, searching for answers. I had a right to know the truth about my curse. Only knowing the truth could I make my decisions. And I had the right to make my decisions. No matter what.
 
 I feel people's stares as I get out of my car. I didn't care. Besides I was used to it. I instantly feel the heat of the sun shining down on my face and neck. A soft breeze cools me down. It was so beautiful out, considering it was fall. I slam the car door shut, causing more people to stop what they were doing to gawk at me. Whatever. Who cares what people think anyway. I turn around to give the valet my keys so he could park it.
 
I head to the Belambra City Hotel Le Magendie, still feeling the stares as I make my way in the lobby. It was peaceful, bright and cheery. Not the type of place for me but a place I'd like to call a home for the time being. The receptionist is smiling. But when I get closer and she sees me, her smile disappears. So? I feel so sad to how people react to me. I did nothing wrong. Did I? I was innocent. It was just this stupid curse. I really hate this, why couldn't I know? Why couldn't I remember? I know now it wasn't my fault that this curse came to be. No, it wasn't. It was my father's. That stupid son of a- I sighed. Whatever.
 
I asked the woman for the biggest, most expensive suite they had. She typed into her computer, her hands and fingers shaking as she tried on a fake smile. I then realized that the people who smile and laugh the most are also the people who are suffering the most. Laughter may be the best medicine but it can also be the best disguise. "Of course sir," she said with a french accent. "It's on the top floor, and here is your key." She looked at me then, handing the key over. I saw fear in her eyes, along with something else I couldn’t quite place. I ignored it as I usually try to do and headed for the top floor of my suite. I couldn't help but notice her sigh in relief when I walked away.
 
 I tried sleeping a bunch of times, but it was just too hard as the afternoon light still shone through the windows. I don't know why. I should be exhausted. I was in my car for a few hours straight. But no, I was wide awake. I groan in frustration. Laying here doing nothing will not help. I decided to go exploring in this part of Paris, France. When I was outside, I couldn’t help but notice a hospital across the street. It was big. Maybe I'll visit there sometime. Volunteer? Who knows. I like trying new things.
 
When I came into this world, words came running in my hand. Should I be happy, glad, excited, sad or feel nothing at all. Because uncertainties started when I first see the world.
 
My life is nothing but a joke. Should a creature like me live? I know I’m human but do I deserve to be treated differently? I know I’m different, I know I shouldn’t be alive. But yet I am. I know I miss my two friends, I know making new ones will just cause trouble. I know… know what? Nothing. I’m living, and I have no idea, no clue as to why. Did I do something punishable? Am I special? No one knows, and it’s not like I could go to the person who did this to me because their dead. Why me? Is all I ask now.
 
Sometimes, I like to believe that I do have reasons to everything I do or say. I was thinking on the money my dad spent and the expectations. Too much pressure. And so I started exploring life on my own, the way I wanted it to....is that enough?
 
My hearing spreads out like invisible sonar. I hear rabbits, squirrels, and possums in the woods, baby birds squeaking in their nests. People conversing, listening the words I try not to hear. I walk around ignoring all the cold, frightened stares I got, and kept walking until my stomach growled. I should probably eat before I ate someone’s face off. I chuckle to myself. I was kidding of course. I looked up in time to see I was passing a restaurant. L'Aimant de Sud. Sounds fancy, though I only knew little French. So I decided to go there to fulfill and satisfy my hunger. I ordered, again with the same stare everyone gave me, and sat in the corner with a coffee and a biscuit.
 
Until someone caught the corner of my eye. The girl’s hair was blonde. It was platinum, almost white. It was long and straight. It reached the bottom of her back. Her eyes were blue, like the ocean or the sky on a bright and sunny day. Her skin was smooth, bright, and glowed. She was gorgeous. Yet all I kept thinking about was, what is her name? She swifts and flows right out of the restaurant, walking onto the street, crossing it. Leaving me baffled and gawking at her through the window. I stared at her until she was out of sight. What was that? I got shivers just thinking about her. I had a feeling she'll be all I think about...
 
 

 
 
 
I’m in my bed and I stare at the ceiling. My prediction was right. I couldn't stop thinking about her. Was she what people often call 'the one?' Heck, I don't even know her. Yet there was something about her. Something familiar. She was a breath of fresh air, a light in a dark room, a star in an empty sky. There was so much more but I cant put it into words. I never felt like this before. I didn't know how to feel, what to think. It was all so new to me. Or maybe, it wasn't. Maybe I experienced it before, but now it was rising to the surface under the weight of everything I’ve been through. Sadness, emptiness, hate, darkness, evil, cold.

I shivered as if the actual word did so. I had an urge to see that woman again. Maybe she'll be at the restaurant tomorrow. I’ll go and, this time I’ll talk to her. He won't be afraid. Not this time. I feel so hopeless half the time. Is anything I ever do worth it? I had to be. I can't live my life in sorrow and silence anymore. I need something. And I feel like I’ve been searching for it for awhile now. I know its there but I don’t know what it is. I need to do more with my life. Its been hundreds of years since I truly did. I will, starting tomorrow. For the first time, in a long time, I smiled. And I was proud of it.