Where Is My Self-Control?

After a short journey we pulled up outside an apartment building and paid the driver as the other cab pulled up behind. We raced the stairs and the elevator up, crashed through the door and they unanimously decided to put on Guitar Hero.

“You not playing?” Ryan looked at me as he finished a song after the boys had taken a few turns.

I was settled comfortably on the sofa with a glass of Jager and coke, “Nah, I can’t play real guitar or Guitar Hero…I’ll stick to the air version,” I told him.

“A couple more of them will change your mind,” he motioned towards my beverage.

“Good luck with that!” I scoffed.

“Ah come on, Vod. Of course you’ll play won’t cha,” Ronnie dropped onto the couch beside me and threw his arm around my shoulder, squeezing me slightly.

“Oi slag!” I giggled and grabbed his side with my fingernails lightly in a sort of heavy-duty pinch.

“Slag? Fuck you,” he laughed and squeezed harder.

“Don’t pick a fight with me bitch cause I’ll win,” I said confidently. I noticed Jacky and Derek playing their game but Jacky observed this scene and glared a little while still trying to concentrate.

I think Ronnie realised this too because next he said, “Of course you will,” and mussed my hair before getting back up and starting some conversation with Mika.

An hour later we made up a new exercise, which involved youtubeing songs and pretending we were on a stage. When it came to my turn I put on Take it Off by The Donnas. We all joined in to a rendition of Welcome to the Jungle and passed out some time later.
My first day with Falling in Reverse was indefinitely better than I could have expected.

When I woke up my head didn’t actually hurt but I was dry mouthed and still a little drunk. There was a cover over me where I lay across the couch and under the cover wrapped around my stomach was a Mika.

“Ah cute, pat, pat,” I muttered out loud while lightly patting his long hair and gazing around the unfamiliar scenery.
I cautiously shuffled myself off the couch so I didn’t wake the sleeping man. Jacky was asleep in the large armchair across the room while Ryan and Derek were passed out on the other sofa, I figured Ronnie would be in his bedroom. I quietly looked for my things, which were strangely on the kitchen counter but it made sense when I noticed the empty Jager bottle beside it all. After checking my phone I found it was only ten AM. Fucks sake. For some reason I always woke up stupidly early in alien places after drinking. I remembered where the bathroom was and quickly used it, cleaning up my face and such like before deciding I needed to get back to my hotel. I would wake Jacky and get him to call me a cab. That was the plan, only as I exited the bathroom I ran into Ronnie. He still had a little liner smudged under his eyes and his hair was awry. He stood before me in just his underwear.

“You’re up early,” he groaned.

“Yeah, stupid body clock. I’m gonna head off now don’t worry,” I replied groggily.

“Hold on, just go in the kitchen, I’ll be a minute,” he told me before shuffling past and closing the bathroom door behind himself.

I did as instructed and stood idly in the kitchen. I just wanted to get to my room, get food and get clean desperately, but I couldn’t help wondering what he wanted. Moments later he came strolling in looking a little breezier than before and picked up my phone. I realised he was putting his number into it and miscalled himself so he had mine.

“If you need anything while you’re here, call me first ok,” he smiled tiredly.

“Ok…thanks,” I was grateful but also perplexed as to why he was doing this for me.

“Now! You wanna get back, you’ll need a cab,” he noted quickly and got his phone off the side. He called me a cab and fiddled a little more. My phone vibrated signalling a message. “You’ll need my address for the future,” he said.

“Oh I will, will I?” I raised my brow.

“Yeah of course. I want your ass round here as long as you’re in the country. If only Jacky didn’t put you in a silly hotel room,” he rolled his eyes and a suddenly realised how close he was stood to me.

“Funny,” I ruffled my hair, not taking him seriously in the slightest. I must have looked like hell and there is no way in hell Ronnie Radke would hit on me even on a good day.

“I’m serious. You’re cool,” he smiled slyly, “and hot,”

I groaned, still not believing this act, “Sure, sure. How will we know when the cab is here, do they buzz from downstairs or text or what?” I questioned.

“Don’t worry, we’ll know,” he leaned on the doorframe, “will I see you before the show tonight?”

“I dunno.” I shrugged, “I haven’t even heard any of this new record yet.”

He looked around the room, vanished from it and came back a few minutes later. I was almost constantly in a state of confusion so far this morning.
“Here, you’ve got a laptop or something in your hotel right?” he handed me what I guessed was a USB memory device of some kind.

“Yeah,” I nodded and slipped it into my bag.

“Make sure it doesn’t get leaked, although I’m sure it already is,” he sighed wistfully before focusing back to me. “It’s been really great to meet you,” Ronnie said randomly. Must have been in a slightly drunken daze like I was.

“Yeah…I like you too actually.” I nodded again and smiled.

“Come here,” he said quietly and before I could protest he pulled me into his arms. If I’d had energy I would have been staring wildly but my face was just resting against his bare chest.
“Wha…what,” I began to mumble but didn’t know what to even say. Stupid drunken daze!
He gently pulled my chin up to look at him, “Just go with it,” he whispered and before I knew what was really going on his tongue was in my mouth. I didn’t know what the hell he thought he was doing but I did go along with it quite happily. After what didn’t seem like long enough of us roaming each other’s mouths we separated though he still had one arm around my waist and his other hand was now at the back of my head. He smirked at me slightly and mumbled, “That was good.”

“What was that about?” I asked quietly, to tell you the truth I was quite weak at the knees by this point.

“Wondered what it would be like,” he smiled and ran his fingers through my hair soothingly.

As we stood there I just took all of him in, his face seemed pretty perfect, his tattoos were beautiful and as messy as it was his hair still looked hot. The fact he was still just in his underwear made it better, I gotta say.

“Oh come on!” I said much louder than our conversation level had been while dragging out the word ‘on’, illustrating my disbelief of the situation. I briskly left the room with my possessions and crossed through the living room to the door leading out into the corridor. I found my heels and slipped them on while grabbing the door handle. I looked up to find Jacky rousing from sleep as Ronnie followed me, but as this was all happening Ronnie slowed, stopped, put his hand through his hair and turned back around leaving the room.
Jacky frowned at me as I opened the front door.

“My cab is here, call me in a while to make today’s arrangements yeah?” I said before exiting.

“Yeah, yeah sure,” he grumbled.

I left the building, got back to my hotel room and collapsed.