Where Is My Self-Control?

Breathing felt a little difficult when I roused from sleep the following morning. My head ached slightly and there was a strange taste in my mouth.
What happened?
I looked to the space beside me where I gazed over Ronnie’s head buried face first into a pillow.
Oh yeah, that’s what happened.
Well time for a coffee perhaps.

My hair was still stuck up on end and strewn across my eyes with the half can of hairspray infecting it as I glanced in the bathroom mirror briefly. With the colour drained from my face and black eye makeup slightly smudged I looked dead. It was a good look. I called room service quietly for the coffee and pulled on some clean clothes. I felt no need to mess with anything else and waited with the door slightly ajar for the coffee so the knocking wouldn’t wake Ronnie up. I even put my phone on silent while drinking the hot beverage and deciding what the fuck I was going to do next. It got to two PM and I heard the bar downstairs calling me so I wrote a note and left the room.

Ronnie
I’m in the bar downstairs until further notice.
Join me if you like.
Vod.

With a bottle of non-descript white wine I rested my phone on the table while listening to music on shuffle through it. I had my notepad and pen at work writing ideas for the book I’d began writing not long ago. Three glasses into the bottle someone sat in the seat opposite me and I zoned back into planet earth to find Jacky trying to yell at me.

“Dude what?” I asked pulling the earphones out.

“Did you not hear a single thing I just said?” he growled angrily.

“Obviously not because I had these in. What’s your problem?” I frowned at him.

“Why’s your phone been off?” he stared down at my phone which obviously wasn’t off.

“Uh…” I was slightly puzzled but pulled it from the screensaver to realise it wasn’t on silent but it was offline, “Shit man sorry I didn’t do that on purpose.” I turned it back online and had instant signal and three missed calls from Jacky.

“What’s with the early drinking?” he sat back slightly calmer.

“I was feeling saucy. How was your night?” I glanced at my half full wine glass and had no particular interest in it.

“It was good. Once I was able to forget about Ronnie fucking you,” he was obviously pissed off but not raising his voice.

“Dude, shut up,” I rolled my eyes.

“I don’t care anyway. I’ve got something to tell you, well ask you.”

“Oh yeah? Does it involve Jager?” I nodded and looked at him intently.

“No. Fucking hell woman! We’re gonna be on tour soon and if you want there is a job at Epitaph for you.”
This was really not what I expected.
“So what should I tell them?” Jacky asked while absentmindedly tapping his fingers on the tabletop.

“Uh…well what would I be doing?” Important factor.

“Teching. You can still do that right?”

“Come on it’s not something you forget. Yeah I’ll do it,” I accepted instantly.

“Awesome! Call this number today,” he looked pretty thrilled.

“I’ll have to sort out so much paperwork,” I mumbled and took the card from him.

I was examining it when Jacky raised his voice. He was facing the door from the foyer and looking in that direction so I looked over my shoulder and realised he’d called Ronnie’s name because there he stood.

“Oh, hey Jacky, how’s it going?” he asked sounding pretty rough while approaching us.

“I’m pretty good thanks. We had a great night out, should’ve stayed.” Jacky told him.

There was tension building so I did the only reasonable thing and topped up my glass of wine.

“Maybe. We had a few laughs and she got me pretty drunk,” Ronnie smiled tightly but I could barely look at him.

I buried my face in the glass and sipped very slowly as if I was hiding.

“Yeah. It’s the only thing she knows how to do,” Jacky said.

I don’t think he was trying to insult me but I felt pretty insulted.

“That’s not true,” Ronnie said quickly following it with, “She can pour drinks pretty good too,” in a slight panic of almost being vulgar in the worst situation.

“Well,” Jacky paused, “I’ll leave you guys to it. I’ll pick you up for the airport tomorrow, Vod. Later dude,” he nodded to me then to Ronnie and left.

“Awkward much,” Ronnie said sitting down once Jacky had left.

“Just a bit,” I sighed with a tinge of aggravation to my voice before tipping the entire glass of wine down my throat.

“Is he uh…alright?” he asked after a few moments of silence.

“As alright as possible I guess. Did you know he was coming?” I shrugged and poured the last of the wine out.

“Yeah he woke me up when he couldn’t get through to you. Sounded like he had a mission.”
I sat back and rested my left shin on the tables’ edge, “I see. Well he offered me a job at your record label. So your tour oughtta be fun eh.”

“Yeah. Sure,” he nodded with no enthusiasm but he hid the sarcasm extremely well.

I had no idea what was going on between us. Logic tells one to find out but anyone who’s been in this kind of situation knows it’s not too cool.

“Urgh,” I groaned out loud, “Fine. Just so we’re clear, what are you intentions?” I began sipping the last of the wine, savouring the feeling that was creeping over me.

“Intentions? As in…what happened last night?” he was trying to look me in the eye but I made it difficult because my hair was in the way.

“Well obviously,” I sighed slowly.

“Uhm. I dunno. What are yours?” men are fucking useless.

“I don’t have any really. Sure I like you but now it looks like I’ll be coming on tour with you guys are my brothers gonna be a weirdo etcetera so leave it at this and not speak of it again?” I suggested, swirling the liquid in my glass thoughtfully and trying to be sensible about this.

“We’ll see.” He smirked.