You Know That I'm Better in the End

"I'm fucking NEVER getting her back now!" I ranted to the guys. They'd finally gotten back from the bar, and when they walked in it was safe to say they looked like they shit themselves at the damage I'd done to the bus.

"Yeah you will," Derek sighed.

"Dude, she walked in on me fucking some other GIRL! Now she thinks I've moved on finally, and-...just-...there's no way she'll give me another chance!!" The guys didn't say anything, and the silence was unbearable. "You know what, I'm going to bed now," I grumbled. "Night." I stalked off to the bunk area, quickly climbing in my own bunk and ripping the curtain closed. I laid on my back and closed my eyes, swallowing the lump in my throat.

"Ronnie?"

"What, Der?" I mumbled, not moving.

"You'll get her back sooner or later." I chuckled humorlessly. "Yeah right. On what fucking planet?" I heard him sit down in his bunk, which was directly across from mine. "She's still in love with you."

"Has she herself told you that?"

"No, but she doesn't need to. I know she does, I can tell. Everyone can tell, even Andy can." I opened my eyes, staring at the top of my bunk.

"Well then why....." I trailed off, biting my bottom lip hard.

"...won't she admit it?" He finished my sentence for me. "She's afraid. She doesn't want to hurt Andy."

"He'll get over it!" I exclaimed.

"You didn't." Derek chuckled. I turned on my side and yanked the curtain open to narrow my eyes at him, to which he smirked. "Well."

"Well?" I scoffed. "I can't help it, Der. I will risk sounding all mushy lovey dovey and shit; she is the one I'm supposed to be with. I know it." His smirk transformed into a smile as he nodded his head. "You two are meant to be together."

"Why doesn't she see that?" I mumbled, looking down.

"She does. You're not getting the fact that the only thing holding her back from being with you is Andy. She doesn't want to hurt him." He said the last part slowly, and I rolled my eyes. "Well then maybe I should."

"Ronnie, don't." He laughed. "Don't start any shit on this tour." I got up, swinging my legs out of my bunk, making Derek raise his eyebrow at me. "No, I don't give a fuck; I want her back, and that motherfucker's standing in the way of that." I stood up. "So I'm just gonna go and tell him straight up; she's still in love with me, she knows we're supposed to be together. I've had enough."

I started walking out, but Derek stopped me. "You're gonna tell him this at 3 in the morning?" I slowly turned around, and slumped my shoulders. "Oh yeah." Derek started laughing at me, making me glare slightly at him. "Fine. I'll wait 'til later today."

"You're just gonna go over there and tell him she's still in love with you?" He laughed again, standing up. I nodded once. "Alright," He grinned. "do whatever you think you have to. Just don't beat the kid up; we don't need you getting thrown in jail for attempted murder or some shit."

"I'll try." I mumbled.

* * *

***Later that night***

I, like the intelligent man I am, really didn't have a plan. I just decided that I would go over to their bus, ask Andy to talk outside, and it'll go from there.

That should work, right?

I made my way towards their bus, and as soon as I got to it, I knocked three times. Scarlet answered the door, looking a tad shocked and confused. "Ronnie?"

"Hey," I smiled a little. "I need to talk to Andy." She stared at me for a few seconds, blinking. "...Why?"

"I just need to talk to him, Scar. Can you go get him for me please?" She slowly nodded, telling me she'd be right back as she disappeared into a different part of their bus. Andy came out just a minute later. "Hey?" He asked more than greeted.

"Can we talk?" He looked just as confused as Scarlet did, but nodded anyways. "Yeah, sure." He stepped outside with me and closed the bus door behind him. "What'd you wanna talk about?"

I raked a hand through my hair. "I wanted to talk to you about Scar." He nodded. "Look, I'm just going to be blunt; there's no point in beating around the bush here." He stared at me. "I know I made a mistake 4 years ago," I started off lowly. "but what you don't understand is that I regret it more than any of the shit I've done in my lifetime. I lost the most important thing to me, and-"

"You want her back?" He asked, looking slightly amused. I nodded, and he laughed slightly. "OK, um, I'm not sure if you're aware of this or not, but we're engaged."

"I am aware of that." I growled. "But I'm still in love with her."

"...Get over her?" It was taking every ounce of strength I had in me not to just beat this guy into the ground right now. "If I could, I think I would have by now." I snapped. "And I hope you know she's still in love with me." He stared at me, and I could tell he was getting angry. "Every-fucking-one knows it. Her and I were supposed to be together for the rest of our lives."

"Yeah, and you aren't because you fucking cheated on her!" He snapped back. "You don't deserve her!"

"I realized what I did, I've suffered for years now, I honestly think I do deserve her! Because I know this time it WOULD last forever!" I yelled. "And you know what? Our son prefers us together, not you and her together. He said it himself. Ask Scarlet."

"You know what?!" He yelled right back, starting to get in my face. "I know I'm not the father of Travis, but he's like my own goddamn son to me! I love him like my own, and I know I might not amount to what his real dad is to him, but I sure as hell try my fucking hardest, Radke! And the fact of the matter is, is that Scarlet and I are engaged, and we're going to get married and have our life together, because YOU were the one who fucked up your guys' life together, and that's why she's with me now. And that's why she's engaged to me, and that's why she's going to be my fucking wife!"

"SHE'LL NEVER BE YOUR WIFE!" I screamed. "You won't fucking marry her! She's still in love with ME!"

"What're you guys doing?!" The door flew open and there stood Scarlet, looking pissed and concerned at the same time.

"Ronnie's trying to tell me you're still in love with him," Andy spat, glaring at me. Scarlet stared at me, almost in horror. "Which I know isn't true." She didn't say anything, and Andy looked at her. "...Right?"

"Y-yeah," She nodded quickly. "Yes, of course."

I felt a small smirk grow on my face, as Andy stared at her. "You hesitated."

"No I didn't!" She said quickly, her eyes shifting between me and him. I smirked and crossed my arms. "I'm not in love with him anymore."

I knew she was lying, it was so clear to me. I've known her for almost 2 decades; I knew when she was lying. And it was one of the most gratifying feelings right now.

"You're lying." My smirked grew, and she glared at me. "No I'm not." I laughed a little. "Yeah, I've only known you for 20 years, and I've seen you lie before. Plenty of times."

"Are you fucking kidding me?!" Andy screamed, throwing his arms around. "Are you seriously still in love with him?!"

"NO!" She blurted out. "No, Andy...no."

"Just admit it, Scarlet!" I exclaimed. "Derek knows it, because he fucking opened your eyes to everything when you two talked just yesterday," Her eyes widened at me, probably thinking I didn't know about that. "Everyone can see it, and now I finally can too; you're still in love with me. You want me back, but you don't want to hurt him-" I pointed to Andy. Her eyes almost instantly started getting teary, and I kinda felt bad for just putting her on the spot like this. "You know it's true, Scarlet." I said a little more quietly.

"Is it?!" Andy shrieked.

"No," She whimpered, shaking her head slightly. "Andy, please."

"It's true, isn't it? Everything he's saying is true?!" He yelled, officially freaking the fuck out.

"Are you fucking happy, Ronnie?!" She screamed at me. My eyes widened in surprise. "There! You got us fighting and we're unhappy right now! Are you satisfied?!" I opened my mouth to speak, but she shook her head and swiftly turned around, hurrying back onto the bus with Andy right behind her. The door slammed shut, and I didn't know whether to feel accomplished, or like a piece of shit.

* * *

***Scar's POV***

"You know, if you're still in love with him then go fucking be with him, Scarlet!" Andy yelled. The guys all stared at us, and I just ignored him, shaking my head still and walking towards the back of the bus. "Don't fucking ignore me right now!"

"Don't fucking yell at me right now!" I yelled back at him. I hurried into the back room and slammed the door in his face, but he opened it back up before I could lock it. "You're still in love with your ex-husband! Who CHEATED on you!"

I sniffled and sat down on the rounded black leather couch that was back here. "You're in love with him, just say it!"

"I'M NOT!" I screamed, staring up at him through my blurry vision.

"YES YOU ARE!" He screamed back. "You know what, you should go be with him. If he's really who you want, go be with him, and quit using me." My jaw dropped at Andy, who was standing there with his arms crossed and the most hurt expression on his face.

"You think I've been using you for the past 4 years?!" I screeched, jumping up. "Honey, you would've been gone after a couple months if I'd been using you! I wouldn't have said yes to you when you asked me to marry you if I was using you! I wouldn't have fucking stuck around for as long as I have if I was using you!" He stared at me.

"So you just fell out of love with me?" He asked shakily. "Or was it always him? Was I just there to try and replace him, but it didn't work?"

"No," I whimpered, putting my face in my hands. "Andy, you know I love you, you know that."

"But do you want him back?!" He yelled again.

"I don't fucking know!" I snapped. "I don't know if I want him back!"

"Well then maybe we should break up so you can figure it out," I opened my mouth to say something, but he cut me off. "because I'm not going to stick around if you're not 100% sure you even want to be with me anymore."

"Andy!" I cried. "Don't do this to me!"

"DON'T DO THIS TO ME!" He yelled in my face. "Do you know how fucking shitty I feel right now, to know the girl I wanted to marry wants her ex back!? I feel fucking worthless!"

"You're not worthless!" I shook my head wildly, putting my hands on his arms. "Andy, I love you!"

"Apparently not as much as you love him!" I back away from him, frowning at how angry he was. "We're done, Scarlet."

"NO!" I cried. "Andy, no! You can't leave me!!" I started crying harder, sobs ripping out of my throat.

"I'm not gonna stay and have you leave me for your ex, and make me look like a fucking dumbass!" He opened the door and glanced back at me. "Go be with him, because we're over." He slammed the door, leaving me there by myself, crying hysterically.