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Hold on Darlin'
two
There’s not really a moment when I decided that I wanted to start doing cocaine or drink until I forgot my own name. It just happened. A lot of things just happened. I’d lost the most important person in my life to it all.
”Piper, baby, you need help.” Slade said wrapping his fingers around my wrist.
“I don’t need help! I’m on top of the world! ” I slurred leaning into him for a kiss. He let me go to fall to the ground.
“No, Piper. I don’t want to see you until you’re back to your old self.”
“My old self was a self loathing bitch was an attitude problem.”
“Crack addict doesn’t look any better on you honey.” He turned to the door. I picked up a vase throwing at him. It fell short, shattering on the ground between us.
“Get help, Piper. I’m sorry I can’t help you...not anymore.” Slade shut the door behind him right as I doubled over from the more frequent stomach cramps. A symptom of the drug that I couldn’t let go.
I picked up the vodka bottle and started for the door following him. I didn’t even feel pieces of the vase embed themselves in my bare feet. I slipped down the stairs giggling as I slipped, a blood trail behind me, it wasn’t enough to kill me, just enough to alarm anyone who saw it.
“Slade, Slade, come back baby, I need you.” I said pushing through the main lobby door. He wasn’t there.
I was hallucinating again.
I slid back inside and crawled up the stairs leaning against my front door, the same door I apparently had locked on the way out. I was losing energy and my fix was waiting just on the other side of the locked door.
“Poppy? Poppy dammit.” I smiled up at Mike’s worried expression.
“Mikey! Do you have my key? It’s locked.” I jiggled the knob to show him. He sighed.
“Come on, Poppy. Let’s go.” He helped me up and unlocked the door. I headed straight for the bathroom, Mike beat me to it though, throwing the bag down the toilet and flushing it. I turned on him eyes wide with terror.
“Mike! Mike, no, no, no, what did you do? Why?!” I clawed at his face, he held my arms out of his face until I was beaten down enough to cry.
“It’s okay, Piper. I’m sorry. We have to end it today.”
12 hours later I was sitting in a facility that the Mike and my parents had taken me to, stitches ached in my feet and I was staring at a nurse who took account of the scars, cuts, and health information.
“Piper.” I focused my eyes back on Mike. My dreamy state was due to the last fix he allowed me.
“You’re here for 60 days and then Jamie is going to come and stay with you at your place for awhile okay?” I nodded and leaned my head back staring at the ceiling.
That was the last memory I have before 12 days of pure torture followed.
Despite the help I had gotten, Slade still hadn’t come around. I had become an empty shell of who I used to be.
“Hey, Piper, can you grab those boxes and start passing them out to the others?” I forced a smile and looked at Jamie Tworkowski.
“Sure thing. Can I get a second though? I’m feeling kind of shaky.” He nodded understandingly and walked off the bus. A long term side effect of the drug use was heart problems, if it began to beat too fast, I got the shakes. I would probably deal with it the rest of my life.
The one thing I did know was that this was going to be the hardest Summer of my life. I’d been left by the love of my life, still craved the high every moment of everyday, and had absolutely no interest in getting out of bed everyday, they didn’t care though.
“This is going to be really good for you Piper.”
“You need out of Arizona Piper”
“You’ll feel better out on the road Poppy.”
So I put on a brave face and became the chirpy, bubbly Piper everyone used to know. I played the most positive person on earth role well. Even if I didn’t know what the emotion felt like anymore.
”Piper, baby, you need help.” Slade said wrapping his fingers around my wrist.
“I don’t need help! I’m on top of the world! ” I slurred leaning into him for a kiss. He let me go to fall to the ground.
“No, Piper. I don’t want to see you until you’re back to your old self.”
“My old self was a self loathing bitch was an attitude problem.”
“Crack addict doesn’t look any better on you honey.” He turned to the door. I picked up a vase throwing at him. It fell short, shattering on the ground between us.
“Get help, Piper. I’m sorry I can’t help you...not anymore.” Slade shut the door behind him right as I doubled over from the more frequent stomach cramps. A symptom of the drug that I couldn’t let go.
I picked up the vodka bottle and started for the door following him. I didn’t even feel pieces of the vase embed themselves in my bare feet. I slipped down the stairs giggling as I slipped, a blood trail behind me, it wasn’t enough to kill me, just enough to alarm anyone who saw it.
“Slade, Slade, come back baby, I need you.” I said pushing through the main lobby door. He wasn’t there.
I was hallucinating again.
I slid back inside and crawled up the stairs leaning against my front door, the same door I apparently had locked on the way out. I was losing energy and my fix was waiting just on the other side of the locked door.
“Poppy? Poppy dammit.” I smiled up at Mike’s worried expression.
“Mikey! Do you have my key? It’s locked.” I jiggled the knob to show him. He sighed.
“Come on, Poppy. Let’s go.” He helped me up and unlocked the door. I headed straight for the bathroom, Mike beat me to it though, throwing the bag down the toilet and flushing it. I turned on him eyes wide with terror.
“Mike! Mike, no, no, no, what did you do? Why?!” I clawed at his face, he held my arms out of his face until I was beaten down enough to cry.
“It’s okay, Piper. I’m sorry. We have to end it today.”
12 hours later I was sitting in a facility that the Mike and my parents had taken me to, stitches ached in my feet and I was staring at a nurse who took account of the scars, cuts, and health information.
“Piper.” I focused my eyes back on Mike. My dreamy state was due to the last fix he allowed me.
“You’re here for 60 days and then Jamie is going to come and stay with you at your place for awhile okay?” I nodded and leaned my head back staring at the ceiling.
That was the last memory I have before 12 days of pure torture followed.
Despite the help I had gotten, Slade still hadn’t come around. I had become an empty shell of who I used to be.
“Hey, Piper, can you grab those boxes and start passing them out to the others?” I forced a smile and looked at Jamie Tworkowski.
“Sure thing. Can I get a second though? I’m feeling kind of shaky.” He nodded understandingly and walked off the bus. A long term side effect of the drug use was heart problems, if it began to beat too fast, I got the shakes. I would probably deal with it the rest of my life.
The one thing I did know was that this was going to be the hardest Summer of my life. I’d been left by the love of my life, still craved the high every moment of everyday, and had absolutely no interest in getting out of bed everyday, they didn’t care though.
“This is going to be really good for you Piper.”
“You need out of Arizona Piper”
“You’ll feel better out on the road Poppy.”
So I put on a brave face and became the chirpy, bubbly Piper everyone used to know. I played the most positive person on earth role well. Even if I didn’t know what the emotion felt like anymore.