Hold on Darlin'

Loud chatter filled the breakfast tent as I stood beside Dylan, who was texting his mom, back in Los Angeles, he was on, must watch Gidget duty, which he didn’t mind doing since we were best friends. I on the other hand did mind, there was never time for me to have alone time anymore. Dad didn’t trust me, my uncles didn’t trust, heck I didn’t even trust myself sometimes.

“So, I think you need to sit down and actually talk to my sister, because as far as I know and what I think she knows, you two are still a couple.” I wasn’t trying to ease drop on the conversation two guys ahead of Dylan and I, was having but they happened to be talking pretty loud.

The guys ahead of us ran his fingers through his hair and sighed, I could tell he was fighting with himself, finding myself really intrigued in what his answer was going to be. Thoughts filled my head, maybe he was cheating on her or did he just not love her anymore, which if it was either, I couldn’t help but think blesses her soul.

“Mike, I don’t think you get it. I was there for her; I’m the one who found her bleeding in our room high off crushed up pills and cocaine, with like five bottles of empty liquor smell. Maybe I don’t trust her to be clean; maybe I’m not ready to put myself back into a situation that is hazardous for my health.” I looked at the Mike dude as his eyes got big. Poor guy looked like his face was growing red, I think it was sort of wrong of his sister’s boyfriend to say that; said Mike guy didn’t get it.

Part of me was crying inside for this guy’s sister, she loved and probably holding on to said guy she probably tried her hardest to fix herself for. If he left her, was she going to have any more reasons to keep clean, did he really just give up on her?

“Slade you are a fucking douche! I don’t know what you went through? Really, I fucking know what you went through! I witnessed it, you left her to run after you, I’m the one who picked her up, I was the one who held her as she went through withdrawal, holding her hand as they looked over her body taking count of scars I never knew were there!” Mike was now crying, I wanted so badly to reach over and pull this young dude, into my arms, but this wasn’t my place.

“You just left her, you didn’t get her help, my family and I did. She loves you Slade, she loves you more than she does her camera. Get a grip on yourself and realize what you are about to give up on!” Who I guess was named Slade glared at Mike, which I think Slade had no right to do, Mike was deeply in pain, and had every right to be in said pain.

Dylan was now looking up from his cellphone looking at both of the dudes, along with everyone else in line and in the tent. I think people were surprised at the loudness of Mike’s voice, but then again, haven’t bands seen louder?

“I know what you went through, leaving her was the hardest thing I’ve ever done, next to deciding that maybe loving her was hazardous to me. Everything she went through I saw, the fact I couldn’t save her kills me Mike, so don’t say I didn’t do anything! She got help once I left her, so she at least owes me that, if I hadn’t left her Mike she might be six feet under!” that was for sure a slap to the face of Mike, and I couldn’t bite my tongue any longer, this girl wasn’t here to stick up for herself to say she was clean and wasn’t going to go back on it.

My left hand tapped Slade on the shoulder, which turned around. I’m sure my face held a harsh glare, one of the harshest ones I could muster up. He looked at me as if I had two heads, but I didn’t care, I hadn’t cared what people thought about me for months.

“You are a selfish jerk! Obviously she went and got better so she could save what you two had, and you are talking about her as if she is dead! Have you no heart?” he stared at me with shock in his expressions. I don’t care if he was in shock, I was sort of glad if he was. He shouldn’t be talking so negatively on someone who was working for positivity.

Before he could even say anything, I left the line even though it was at the food table. I was fuming; I couldn’t believe a guy could just treat a girl with such disrespect. Shaking my head at Dylan I showed him that really right now I needed to be left alone, even though I wasn’t going to be alone in a place of at least three hundred people running around to set up the place before the gates opened.

Sighing I figured now would be better than any time to head over to see Jamie and see what he was going to have me be doing this summer at his tent, To Write Love On Her Arms. This summer according to Jamie was going to be about me remembering what it was like to feel loved and to love, and giving back to people.

I couldn’t help but also wonder who were going to be some of the people I was going to meet this summer, was this summer going to change me, was I really going to make a difference in someone, anyone?