Hold on Darlin'

“Dad, can I go to the barbeque tonight, Piper my merchandise mate is going to go, and her brother Mike invited me?” I had just finished putting on deodorant and fixing my makeup, my dad sat down in front of his lap top, typing away at the keys, probably writing my step mom Dad looked up at me biting at his lip, I could tell he wasn’t quite sure if he should let me go or not. He had been keeping my on a tight rope since the attempt of ending my life, never giving me time to myself.

“I guess, but take Dylan with you and back by ten tonight.” Dylan looked up from his lap top at the mention of his name, sighing he got up and put his hoodie on. “If you two aren’t back by then, Uncle Chester and I will come looking for you two.” I simply nodded my head and left the front room heading towards the door with Dylan hot on my heels.

Dylan-Paul and I were sort of different people ever since my attempt; he had been more interested in us staying together and in, not going out. Dylan has always been a one to hang out with people in an family setting with maybe a few dozen of people not hundreds, like we were about to do. He probably viewed it as us walking into a shark tank, us being the bait and everyone else being the sharks.

“Gidget what are you playing at? You don’t even like parties that much, so why are we even going?” Dylan had stopped me just before we reached all the people standing around in the tiki torched lighting. My eyes landed on John O’Callaghan lead singer of The Maine playing corn hole with Kyle Evans from Breathe Carolina, Jeremy Davis from Paramore, and a few other people I didn’t recognize.

“It’s called I never have any more freedom Dylan, besides when Mike asked me if I was going I sort of accidently didn’t think and just responded with yes, plus I need to get to know Piper more, she’s my partner for working with Jamie this summer.” Dylan just shook his head at my answer, to him he was probably thinking typical Gidget, never thinking anything through, always going out on a limb, so recluse and looking for trouble.

My eyes scanned the crowd for Piper, it didn’t take too long to find her because I heard her laugh and my eyes quickly found her sitting in the lap of Vic Fuentes of Pierce The Veil. I grabbed Dylan’s hand and pulled him towards her. Piper looked up and waved at me when she saw me walking her way. I noticed a red cup in her hand, and immediately I knew she was probably drinking some hard shit because of what happened earlier, I suddenly felt really guilty.

“Ah Gidgey, I was starting to think you weren’t going to show up.” Piper pulled me into a hug and pointed to a set of empty chairs next to her and Vic. Dylan sat down in the farthest one away from Vic and Piper leaving me to sit next to them.

“Gidgey? Where the hell did you get that from?” I laughed nervously as I scratched the back of my neck out of habit when I was nervous. Vic snorted and whispered something in her ear causing Piper to snort and hit his chest.

“Yeah, I always give everyone nicknames, you are going to be Gidgey, because I can’t even figure out how to shorten Gidget. Now really what took you so long to get here? I’ve been here forty five minutes, and you don’t look like one of those girls who take forever to get ready.” Piper took a long sip from her cup and then grabbed the cigarette from Vic and took a long drag from it.

“We usually just call her Gage.” Dylan cut in before I could even part my lips, earning a glare from Vic. Dylan just rolled his eyes, I could tell tonight was going to just get more and more interesting if Vic and Dylan were going to already decide to hate each other for no reason.

“Dude was she even talking to you and who the hell are you? We’re you even invited to this shin dig?” Vic spat out, I watched at Piper put her hand on Vic’s chest and whispered in his ear, he quickly loosened his body and sat back in his chair taking his cigarette back from Piper.

“My names is Dylan-Paul, I’m Gidget’s cousin, and the only way she was going to be able to come and hang out with you guys is if I came along, now if you don’t mine, I’m going to go get myself something to drink.” with that all said and done, I watched as Dylan got up from his chair and made his way to the refreshment table.

I gave an apologetic look to both Vic and Piper, who both simply just shrugged their shoulders and went back to whispering in each other’s ears. I couldn’t help but feel sort of out of place, like I was the third wheel to whatever it was they were.

“Aren’t you the girl who told off Slade?” my eyes made contact a pair of blue green eyes; I nodded my head as I took in the gingers appearance and smiled at him. He pulled up a chair and sat down in front of me and gave me a small smile. “Girl you have guts, I’ve known Slade for a long time, and no one ever speaks back to Slade unless they are one of his best friends, or in his family. I’m Garrett Nickelsen, bassist of The Maine.” Garrett put his hand out for me to take, which I did and gave it a quick shake and leaned back more into my chair.

“I’m Gidget Shinoda, I’ll be here all summer selling merchandise for To Write Love On Her Arms.” Garrett simply nodded his head as he watched Piper stumble on her legs as she made her way towards her brother Mike, who looked like he was about to blow a casket.

Dylan came back over with two yellow cups and handed one of them over to me. I thanked him and took a sip and immediately was meeting by the taste of Dr. Pepper, my favorite soft drink ever. I’m not sure how long I sat there just talking with Garrett and Dylan but before I knew it, I felt someone tap my shoulder.

Looking up I was meet with Hayley Williams smiling down at me and then nervously laughing she pointed over where Piper stood leaning against my dad. My eyes grew huge as I watched him look very uncomfortable and Piper whispering in his ear as she leaned against him.

“Uh Gidget, isn’t that your dad and your co-worker.” Before Hayley and I could event talk some more I was being pulled up by my arm by my Uncle Chester, who looked sort of upset. His grip wasn’t that lose and I couldn’t help but feel as if he had a death grip on me.

I was being pulled along with Dyan who was also being pulled along by the color of his shirt, clearly we both were in trouble for something we didn’t do, and I was sort of annoyed by this, but couldn't I go a day without someone assuming something of me?

“Gidget Shinoda you are in deep fucking shit when we get back on the bus, do you have any idea how stupid you are?” I was about to voice my opinion but stopped when I watched as Piper kissed my dad. My jaw dropped as my dad quickly pushed her a way and handed her over to Mike, who looked really embarrassed.

I was now crying because I was not only hurt that I was in trouble when I hadn’t done anything wrong and my so called new friend was kissing my dad. Part of me was hoping she didn’t know he was my dad.

It wasn’t long before I was thrown on to the couch of the bus with my dad glaring at me and my Uncle Chester dragging Dylan into the bunk area. Uncle Phoenix frowned and mouthed sorry to me, and I mouthed back why.

“Gidget Elizabeth Shinoda , how stupid do you take me for?” my dad yelled as he threw a bag in front of me that held a single razor with crusted blood on it, I paled and looked up at my dad, as he grabbed my arms and expected them, no marks were on me, I hadn’t cut myself in a long time.

“I didn’t cut myself, that’s been in my bag since the last tour!” I screamed back, I was now crying because my dad was hurting my feelings more and more, his face softened and then hardened back up again.

“Not only are you in trouble for this Gidget, but Uncle Adam came over asking to watch a movie with you and your cousin on their bus, only to find out you went to the Barbeque that was having alcohol served, you didn’t tell me about that!” I scoffed and got an even worse look then I had just seconds ago.

My mind was going a thousand directions at once with anger building up, I got up from my spot on the couch and threw door open to the bunk room and made my way towards my bunk, sending glares at Uncle Chester and Uncle Joe.

“What the fuck did I do?” Uncle Joe yelled as I quickly tore my clothing on and replaced it with pajama’s not even caring if I was in my underwear in front of them. Tears were eventually making their way down my face, but I didn’t stop myself from stuffing clothing into a duffle bag along with my teddy bears. “Gage, where the fuck are you going?” Uncle Joe stepped in front of me but between the blur of tears I shoved him aside.

Dad stood in the front room with hands on his hips, glaring at me still. I didn’t care if he was glaring at me, he was slowly killing me right now, I’m not sure what has gotten into him, and he’s never been like this. I feel like I was thrown into some port whole and instead of ending up in Narnia or Middle-Earth something cool like that, I was thrown into another version of my world.

“If you must know I’ll be on Uncle Cale’s trailer with him, you can’t ground me you can’t make me stay here because I’m legally of age here in the United States.” Pushing my dad aside I ran off the bus and started to make my way down ten busses and four vans, not stopping to brush my tears off. It was getting sort of hard to breathe. I did notice Anarbor’s van in front of my Uncle trailer for his band; I brushed it off and grabbed the key from the pocket of my bag, and quickly got on the trailer.

“Oh gosh, who gave trouble keys to our place-, Gage sweetheart what’s wrong?” Uncle Jeff stopped the harassing and quickly stopped when he noticed me in tears, Uncle Cale was making him way towards me when he stopped, I dropped my bag and quickly walked over to him and clutched to his as I started to sob into his chest.

There was no way I was going to make it through this summer if it was always going to be like this, and it was only the first day of tour. I don’t know what I did to deserve this but whatever it was I was wishing I could take it back.