I Wanna Feel Weightless

"Carlykins, what are we doinggggg?" Jack asked as we all stepped into the doorway of my house. Luckily James had canceled rehearsal today so that meant more time to chill with the band.

"Right now, we are chillin out!" I said as I started up the stairs

"Well what about after?" Jack asked again as I unlocked my door.

"It's a secret." I said putting my finger to my mouth.

"Oh, I think I know how to get the secret out of you." Jack said. Alex sat down at my computer, Zack grabbed my acoustic guitar and started to strum it while Rian flicked on the TV and spread out onto my couch. When I said make yourself at home they really took it to the next level.

"Oh really and how is that?" I asked

"I'm going to tickle you!" Jack said and launched himself at me. We both fell back onto my bed and he tickled me like no one's business. It was going to take a lot more than that to get me to talk. I laughed and laughed until I heard the doorbell ring.

"BRIT BRIT!" I yelled as I ran down the stairs with everyone in tote. I swung open the door only to be attacked by her five year old sister Jane and her two dogs Kai and FlipFlop. I fell to the ground. Kai was an Alaskan husky and was GIGANTIC. Well over 100 pounds. FlipFlop was a Shitzu both dogs were kicking my face and Jane was hugging me.

"Carlin!" Jane said

"KAI!" Brittany yelled. "Go home!" she commanded and sure enough the dog ran back across the street.

I Got up and tackled hugged Brittany. "BRIT BRIT!" I said

"CAR CAR!" she said back. This was something we had called each other since we were little.

Jack coughed. "Aren't you going to introduce us?" he said

"Jane, Brit, meet Zack, Rian, Alex, and Jack" I said pointing to the guys. Brittany already knew all about his whole thing with All Time Low, I had texted her all about it during History class.

"HI!" Jane said hugging each one around the legs.

"Nice to meet you Britt Britt." Alex said

"NO! You can call her Britt or Brittany. Britt Britt is mine!" I said

"What about Brittanykins?" Jack asked

"That's fine." I said

"What about me?" Jane asked

"Janeykins?" Jack said and Jane nodded.

"Sorry I have to babysit her for like an hour and I just felt like bringing Flippy." She said

"No! I love them." I said

"Can you put on a show?" Jane asked me. This was something I did whenever she came over and whenever I help Britt babysit her four other little brothers and sisters I always put the younger ones to bed by playing a lullaby.

"Yah!" I said and she took my hand and started up the stairs.

"Wait, I know you might not but do you have a drum set? This way we could all play for her." Rian said.

"I do have one in the basement. It was Amy's but you can use it." I said

"Can you guys start to bring down the stuff?" I asked "Come on Rian." I said. Still holding Jane's hand Rian, Brittany, Jane and I all went into the basement. I took out the key for my room since I had made the locks the same.

I opened up the closet and almost all of Amy's old stuff was on there. From clothing (some of which I still borrowed just like when she was alive) to art work she made in school. I kept everything I could get my hands on in here. My parents wanted to throw it all away but I had hid it here.

"Oh My God. It's all here." Brittany said touching one of Amy's favorite dresses. I smiled. Rian started to pull the drum set out and set it up. Zack came in carrying the most stuff while Alex and Jack had the lighter loads.

"So Amy played the drums?" Rian said

"Yeah we just to jam together. We tried to get Kevin to pick up the bass but he never did. She would play the drums and I'd play the guitar and sing because she couldn't sing at all." I said "She always told me that I was going to make it big."

"You know what I wish that guy kill you instead of Amy at least she wasn't a freak." I heard in my head.

"I need to go to the bathroom." I said quickly and went in and closed the door. I sat on the toilet and my tears started to fall

***FLASH BACK***

I was laying in a hospital bed. I had woken up only a few hours ago. Kevin my mom and my dad were all in the chairs around me but Amy wasn't there she was still missing.

A police officer came into my room. Everyone stood up, well that is except for me.

"We found Amy. But I'm afraid it's just her body." The police officer said and before I burst into tears, before I made any physical movement the thought that passed threw my head was 'I wish it was me.'

***FLASH BACK OVER***

The tears were flowing fast now.

I heard a little knock on the followed by a small voice saying. "Can I come in Carly." Jane was the only one I let call me Carly. Well except for Carlykins but that didn't count.

"Come on in Janey." I said my voice cracking.

She walked over to me and held her arms up. I picked her up and put her on my lap.

"I miss Amy too." Jane said "She used to give me chocolates when Mommy wasn't looking." She said. "But you can't tell anyone."

I laughed. "I promise and next time I come over I'll bring you a candy bar just like Amy did." I said

"Really?" Jane ask

"Really" I said

"Will you come play a song for me now?" she asked

"Of course." I said. I splashed my face with water and walked out.

"Sorry" I said.

"No problem." Alex said "When my brother died I cried about it for a long time." He said

"Your brother died?" I asked I had not known this.

"Yeah but let's talk about it later I think Janey-" Alex said but was cut off when Jack interrupted with "Janeykins."

"Fine I think that Janeykins wants to hear us play.

"Do you know how to sing Painting Flowers? We can do a duet." Alex said

"Okay" Okay I said and sat Jane down on the couch. FlipFlop who had followed us down here curled up onto the couch. I pulled in guitars and the microphones and the boys started to play.

At the end Jane gave us a standing ovation and Brittany made whooping noises.

"AGAIN!" Jane said

We play two more songs and then Jane got hungry.

"Do you want me to make you a grilled cheese?" I asked and Jane nodded.

"I WANT A GRILLED CHEESE!" Jack said

"Well COME ON! Jacky" Jane said and took his hand. Jane and Jack were getting along really well I guess that was the child in him as well.

I had those Zoo animal plates just for when Britt's younger siblings came over. OKAY FINE! You got me... I like them too.

"I want an elephant!" Jane said

"I want a tiger!" Jack said I laughed and started the sandwiches. Britt and I were the only ones not hungry. The rest of the boys picked out their plates without screaming and in no time the food was done.

"Thanks Mommy" Jack said playing around.

"That's not your mommy!" Jane said

"Well, how do you know?" Jack answered back.

This went on until it was time for Jane to leave.

The doorbell rang.

I answered it.

"Hi honey!" Brittany's mom said

"Hi Carla." I said "Janey your mom is here!"

"aww! I don't want to leave! Mommy!" Jane said

"But Phil is coming over to play." Carla said

"But I like Jack better! He's a new friend of Carlin's." Janey said "Jack! Come here and meet my mommy."

Jack came over and said Hi, eventually we got Janey to agree to leave.

"Is it okay if Britt sleeps over here tonight?" I asked

"Sure just make sure she comes over and gets some clothing." Carla said

"Okay will do!" I said

"Bye honey Oh and by the way how are things around here?" she asked

"ehhh…" I said

"Well just remember you're always welcome at our house. We love you." She said

"I love you too." I said and closed the door. Carla was more like a mom to me now than my real mom.

"BWIT BWIT your sleeping over!" I said in a baby voice.

Kevin came downstairs."YOU MADE GRILLED CHEESE?" he said

"Yes and it was the best I ever had. Ever." Alex said

"I made you one you just need to heat it up." I said

Kevin popped the sandwich in the microwave and said, "So are you guys still going to-" but I cut him off.

"It's a secret and yes can we borrow your car?" I asked.

"Sure Melissa is coming over tonight anyway." He said Melissa was his girlfriend. We also grew up together with her younger brothers Derek who was my age and Ian who was Amy's age. I always wondered if our parent's planned it like that. Also was Jimmy who was the same as Derek and his sister Danielle who was Ian's age and their parents.

"I'll see if Derek and Jimmy wanna come." I said and Kevin nodded. He handed Zack his keys and went back upstairs.

"ooh! I haven't seen Derek and Jimmy since… Halloween I think, when you were getting into Jimmy's pants and his mom walked in. She was so hammered all that she cared about was the fact that the lights were dimmed." We laughed and I dial Derek's cell number.

"Put it on speaker." Brittany said

"kay were going to need the whole story for that one." Rian said I then realized what it sounded like. Hm, maybe I'll keep them guessing.

"Hello?" Derek answered the phone.

"Sup D?" I asked

"Hey Derek!" Brittany said

"Hey Brit whats crack a lackin?" he said

"Notin much were going out with some people tonight. Wanna join maybe hit up Jimmy?" Britt said

"I can't and Jimmy's here he can't either we're having the girlfriends come over tonight." Derek said

"Aw! I love Brianna her and Jimmy are just prefect. But I hate the skank that you date now." I said

"So I heard you punched my girlfriends 'BFF' today. She wants me to never talk to you again." Derek said I laughed and shook my head. I was surprised that the band was staying quiet.

"Bitch deserved it." I said

"No doubt Anyway wanna come over and chill for a while?" Derek asked.

"No I have company. But we can go Live and I'll beat your ass at Halo." I said

"It's a fucking date. But by the way are you going out with guys?" Derek asked and again with the protectiveness

"How many guys got your back Carlin?" Alex asked

"That was a male voice I'm coming over, can I take him?" Derek asked

"Oh shut up him and his friends stayed the night!" I said.

"What?" He said oops probably not the best thing to mention.

"Just go on live." I said and hung up.

"Sorry, they get like that." I said and we all headed up to my room. After I kicked everyone's asses at Halo for a while I decided it was time to get dressed. Brittany went over to her house to grab and overnight bag and change.

I wore my new white Jac Vanek top, some black skinnies, my black and white converse high tops, and my black beanie. The top was pretty low cut and Kevin hated it but he was just going to have to deal.

I heard the door bell rang. That must me Melissa, two minutes later I hear a knock on the door to my room. I opened it to find Melissa she kissed me on the cheek and walked in.

"Derek told me to spy on you and HOT DAMN you have got some fine looking company." Melissa said

"Alright time for you to go make out with my brother." I said

"By the way you look really hot tonight." She said I blushed and thanked her.

"Time to go?" I asked

"Yeppers Carlykins!" Jack said and dragged me down the stairs. From the third floor I could hear Melissa call "Happy Humping!" Just to get on Kevin's nerves then a "WHAT?"

I laughed and piled into the car. Rian drove and I sat up front. We picked Brittany up and started to drive. I directed Rian to go to a Chinese Restaurant but this was only stop number one.

We all piled out of the car and walked into the place.

"Hey Carlin." The host said

"Hey Frank, table for six please?" I asked and he led us to the biggest table in the center of the restaurant.

We all ordered our drinks and surprisingly the guys ordered sodas just like Britt and I. Well, I wasn't going to ask any questions.

Dinner went well we talked about the life on tour and how much fun it was. Then questions were being asked about me.

"Why do you talk like that?" Alex asked

"Talk like what?" I asked

"Like that!" Alex said and I now knew what he meant. I said Tawlk instead of talk.

"Oh well, I lived in Brooklyn, NY until I was four so I learned to talk there. The accent got mostly deluded out when we moved to Connecticut but sometimes I slip up and when I get really pissed I lose control.

"Like when you hit that girl today? By the way, nice right hook." Zack said

"thanks and yeah that's why." I answered

Other little questions like that were asked about Britt and I.

When the check came I picked it up.

"No! I'm paying!" Alex said

"Yeah let Alex pay." Jack said

"No Way! This whole night is on me!" I said

"How about this Alex pays for dinner and then you pay for the thing were doing after." Rian said

"Fine." I said and put my credit card away.

"Okay take a left… now a right… and were here." I said and smiled.

"Were going Go Kart racing?" Alex asked

"Yeah, is that okay?" I asked

"It's fucking awesome! I haven't been in forever!" Alex said

"Cool"

I paid for our tickets and we got onto the cars.

"Carlin, look at 3 o'clock." Britt said from the car next to mine.

"yummayyy, but I think that his friend is hot." I said and smiled. One of them had hair like a surfers while the other looked like a skater. I went for the skater.

"They are both fine!" Britt said

The light above turned green and we raced.

We all got off our second race except for Brittany who had gone to talk to those boys.

She came back to us dancing "I got their numbers, one for meee one for youuu!" She said and handed me a napkin with the name Ethan on it and a 7 digit number.

"haha thank you!" I said and put it in my back pocket.

We drove five more races. We also had gotten ice cream by 12:30 am de called it a night. They band was going to stay another night and leave in the morning.

"So Jack how does it feel to beaten by two fifteen year olds without driver's licenses?" Alex said

"Not too goo Alex, not too good." Jack said

We all laughed as we piled into the car.

"I am beat." I said. And Brittany yawned as well.

We were all almost silent as we pulled up into my driveway and stumbled our way up the stairs. We all silently put on our pajamas and crawled into bed, we were out like a light.

Things were looking up.