Once Again

I groaned before rolling over to my other side. Opening my eyes, I let out a scream of startlement when my eyes landed on the grinning figure that saw smirking back at me, eyes filled with mischief.

"Fuck! Jimmy, what the fuck are you fucking doing in here?" I yelled out as I shot up in a seating position.

"Well," Jimmy said,rolling out of bed," Good morning to you too."

"What the hell man? What are you doing here?,"I sighed out as I got out of bed.

"I came over here to wake your lazy ass up. Remember that we have a meeting to see if this new manager will work with us," the tall, lanky figure said as he made his way towards the door.

I sighed before running my hands over my face then running them over my buzz cut head.

"Yeah, I remember. Now get out, I gotta shower."

Jimmy laughed his manicatic laugh before walking out the door.

"Oh," Jimmy said, looking over his shoulder at me, "The rest of the guys are here. So hurry up."

And with that, the gentle,yet crazy, giant walked out of the room, closing the door behind him.

I chuckled under my breath before walking over to my large closet to look for something to wear. As I was just walking out of the closet with my clothing over my arm and towards the bathroom, my eyes landed on the picture that was on my bedside table. There, smiling at me, was a twenty-six year old me with the love of my life. Sighing, I shook my head before walking into my lavish bathroom.

As I got under the spray of waster five minutes later, I couldn't help but think of before. When times were a bit more simpler, when I was with the love of my life. But I just had to screw everything up. And for what? Someone who will do anything in there power, even get me drunk off my ass, to have me? When I saw the look on her face, the face of my one and only, my heart broke into millions of pieces. Seeing the tears running down her cheeks, I couldn't but feel like jump off a cliff. When she walked away, I yelled and cursed at Val before telling her to get the fuck out of my life completely.

I searched for my love, but never found her. Later that night, as I was nursing my fourth shot of Jack Daniels, Jimmy came storming into my home, walked right up to me, and decked me square in the jaw. He got in a few more good punches before walking out, slamming the door shut behind him.

The next day, the guys all knew what I had done and couldn't stand looking at me, let alone be in the same room as me for more then an hour. Sighing, I washed my hair and body before rising and turning off the tap. Grabbing a clean, red towel off the counter, I dried myself before walking out and putting my clothing on. Slipping into a black pair of boxers, I placed some black over them and placed a black belt with deathbats in the hoops. Grabbing my Guns'N'Roses with the sleeves ripped off, I placed it over my body before walking out of the bathroom. Slipping some socks on, I grabbed my black and while Adidas and slipped them off before going over to my dresser. Taking out a Misfit bandanna, I folded it to my liking before placing it and tieing it on my head, Grabbing a VU ball cap, I placed it over the bandanna on my head before grabbing my wallet, keys and aviators and walking out of my room.

As I descended down the stairs, I could already head the voices of the guys floating up.

"Do you think this is a good idea?" I heard Brian ask.

"I hope so man, I hope so," Jimmy replied.

I had just walked in and stared at the guys when Johnny closed his mouth.

"What are you guys going on about?" I asked as I looked around the room.

"Nothing man," Johnny said, standing up.

I nodded my head before motioning for the guys to follow me. Closing and locking the door behind me, I unlocked my black Escaled and slit into the drivers side. Jimmy got into the passenger side and the rest of the guys in the back. Starting my car up, I pulled out of my driveway and headed towards the PCH Highway.

"How good is this manager?" I asked, looking over at Jimmy for a brief second.

I saw out of the corner of my eye him shrugging before saying," She's good. Real good. She's still the tour manager for H.I.M, The 69 Eyes, Apocalyptica, Type O Negative, Disturbed, Demon Hunter, and Blood On The Dance Floor. They're all off tour at the moment though."

"Damn," I breathed out,"She has a lot on her fucking plate."

"Yeah. And on top of that, she has a four year old who goes with her on all those tours.They're a packaged deal. But from what I've heard, the kid is pretty good. And real smart," Brian added.

I didn't say anything after that, just continued driving down the freeway. Is it really a good idea to have this chick on board with us? But, hearing the guys speak highly of her, I guess it's alright.

Fifty minutes later, I pulled up into a decent looking one story building. Shutting my car off, we all got out and headed inside. Walking up to the front desk, I saw a guy.... Filing his....Nails?

"Hey," he said, looking up at us," You Avenged Sevenfold?"

"Yeah, that's us," I said with a nod.

The guy smiled before standing up," Alright. You can wait for her in her office. Emz is running a little bit late. I'm Billy, by the way."

After introducing ourselves to him, we thanked Billy as we walked into the office before talking a seat. I sat before the desk. Jimmy taking the other seat. Brian,Zacky and Johnny took the couch. Looking around, I saw that there were many pictures of a little girl. And some drawing. Drawing that look so fucking realistic.

I turned to Jimmy and was about to say something when a voice from outside interrupted me.

"IMA BARBIE GIRL! IN A BARBIE WORLD!" a little girls voice yelled out.

"Oh, shit," I heard Zacky laugh out.

I was about to say something when there were mummers from the other side before the door flew open. Turning, I watched as a little girl in some white and black converse, black skinny jeans, and a simple white v-neck coming into the room. Closing the door behind, the little girl turned back around and skipped, yes skipped, to the desk. As she passed by, I saw that she was caring a blank black book and had headphone in her ears. Looking at the guys, I saw that they were all smiling at this unknown little girl. Turning back to her, I watched as she settled her things on top of the deck before climbing into the chair. As she got herself situated, I watched as she pulled out an ipod touch, a art pencil and a white eraser. She played around with her ipod before placing it on the table, along with the pencil and eraser. As she opened the book, I realized that it was a sketch book. Flipping to a blank page, I watched as she placed her little hands on the table before looking at us all. A blank expression on her little face.

As the little girl continued to look at us, I realized that, for some odd reason, she looked just like me as she was doing that. As I pondered on this, I didn't realize that she had picked the pencil up and began to draw. I watched in shock and amazement as her hand flew across the page. Looking over at Jimmy, I saw that he leaning forward, his elbows rested on his knees, chin in his hands with a smile grazing his lips. Looking over at Brian, Johnny, and Zacky, I saw that they were in a similar position. Looking back at the little, girl,I saw her smiling down at the book before placing her pencil down before looking back up. When my eyes met her face, I was shocked to see that she had two dimples. One on each cheek, magnifying her smile.

I saw her eyes, her hazel eyes, look at me before speaking," Do you wanna see what I did?" she asked in an angelic voice.

Lost of words with a suddenly dried mouth, I nodded my head at her before leaning forward. Reaching for the book that she had pushed my way, I looked down at what she drew. What met my eyes shocked and amazed me. It was me. But not just me alone, me and the guys, in the Afterlife music video. Flipping the pages, I saw that it was the whole entire music video, from start to finish. All very well detailed. Down to the tarantula that was crawling on Jimmy's face to the skull Brian was holding. Closing the book, I started from the beginning. Every drawing that this little girl has done were so well detailed, it looked as if an adult drew them. I was about to flip to another page when one drawing in particular drew my whole attention. It was one of myself. And a woman sitting between my legs. My arms were around her while she leaned into my chest and we were both smiling. As I looked closer, I realized that it wa-

"Hey, sorry I'm late. I had a mini heart attack," the voice joked.

That voice.

I know that voice. A voice that I will never forget.

Closing the book, I placed it on the table before turning in my seat

When my whole body was fully turned, my breathing caught in my throat. There, standing before me in a pair of tight jeans and a muscle shirt, was the woman I made leave. The woman that I still love with my entire heart. I watched as she smiled and greeted the guys before turning to me. I watched as she swallowed before shaking her head and sending me a small smile. I smiled back at her and watched as she walked to her desk.

"Alright toots," she said, smiling at the little girl," Get your little monkey butt off my chair."

"MOMMY!" Wait..MOMMY?!?!" I'm not a monkey! Ima ninja!"

"I thought you were a Barbie Girl," the woman I loved said.

The little girl shook her head and smiled up at her mommy.

"Nope. Ima ninja. Cause ninjas are awesomer then dumb blonds."

When those words left the little girls mouth, Jimmy fell out of his chair, rolling around on the floor, howling with laughter. I heard the others laughing along to but one stood out. Her giggles.

"Alright alright. Get your little ninja butt off my chair. I gotta work."

The little girl pouted before getting her things off the table and disappeared through a door that was to her right.

"Alright. Like I said, sorry I'm late. You probably already know me, but I'll still introduce myself. I'm Emmali Vasquez. Emma for short. Shall we get started?"

With a nod of my head, Emmali began. I heard half of what she was talking about. All I could think about was how much she changed. Her body is more... Developed then I remembered. Her hips were fuller. Something I can see myself grab on to. As soon as that thought entered my head, I mentally shook it off. She could have a boyfriend for all I know. When that thought came to mind, jealousy coursed through me. I didn't like the fact that another man could be in her life. But this guy could be the father of her little girl. But... it doesn't look like it... She looks...

"Uncle Jimmy! Come play with me!" I heard a little voice cut through my train of thoughts.

Snapping my head in his direction, I saw that Jimmy had a sheepish smile on his face before standing and walking into the room the little girl walked into not so long ago.

"Emmali,"I called to her.

Emmali looked in my direction, her burgundy curls bouncing in her movements. I was about to say something when the sound of piano hit my ears and not a few moments later, drumming played along. Looking over at Emmali, I saw that she was smiling a bit, but there was something more in that smile of hers. Standing from my seat, I walked over to the open door and walked in. What met my eyes shocked me. The little girl was on the piano, playing away to none other then 'Fiction'. A moment later, I was blown away from her voice.

'Now I think I understand
how this world can over come a man
Like a friend we saw it through
In the end I gave my life to you.

Gave you all I had to give
Found a place for me to rest my head
Heard there's peace on the other side

(Rev)
Not that I could,
Nore that I would,
Let it burn,
Under my skin,
Let it burn.

Left this life to set free
Took a piece of you inside of me.
All this hurt can finally fade
Promise me you'll never feel afraid

(Rev)
Not that I could,
Nor that I would,
Let it burn,
Under my skin,
Let it burn.'

As I watched this unfold before me, I felt someone else standing beside me. Looking down,I saw a huge smile grazing Emmali's face. Pride and joy filling her.And, for some strange reason, I felt the same thing too. Looking back at the little girl, I saw her playing her heart out on the piano.

"What's her name?" I asked Emmali.

Emmali looked up at me, her brown eyes searching my hazel ones before answering.

"Ember," Emmali finally said," Her name is Ember."

I smiled at the name, remembering when we spoke of having a family, that she'd love to name her daughter that name.

"That's beautiful. And she has a real strong and remarkable voice," I added in.

Emmali nodded her head and smiled,"Just like her father."

I looked at her curiously. When she saw me looking at her, I saw that she realized what she said and was inching away. I was about to grab her arm when Ember's voice stopped me.

'I hope its worth it, out on the highway, yeah
I hope you'll find your own way
When I'm not with you

So tell everybody, the ones who walk beside me, yeah
I hope you'll find you own way
When I'm not with you tonight

I hope it's worth it, what's left behind me, yeah
I know you'll find your own way,
When I'm not with you

So tell everybody, the ones who walk beside me, yeah
I know you'll find your own way
When I'm not with you, Tonight...'

When she sand the last verse, I couldn't help my self. I began to clap, which caught her attention. Ember looked over at me and a huge smile was on her face.

"You really like it?" she asked, getting off the bench and walking towards me before stopping before me.

I squatted to her level, looked her in the eye, and said," I love it. You have a really great voice."

Ember smiled widely at me, hazel eyes twinkling before she threw her arms around my neck and brought me into a hug. I was shocked. But as soon as the shock came, it went as I wounded my large arms around her small body. As I did so,
I couldn't help but feel as if she was designed for my arms. Looking up at the guys, I saw them looking amongst each other,smiling. After letting her go, Ember shocked me again by placing a small kiss on my cheek. I looked at her, touched and extremal flabbergasted.

Ember smiled at me before walking over to her shocked mother. Standing up, I looked at Emmali as she shook her head.

"It was great seeing you all again. And see you all in two weeks," Emmali said, smiling at us all.

"Yeah!" Ember's voice cut through," See you!"

I laughed at the little action of hers before saying goodbye. As I followed the guys out the door, I turned and called Emmali's name.

"Yes Matt?" she asked, looking at me with those big brown eyes.

"I've missed you,"I said to her,looking at her straight in the eye," I've missed you so fucking much."

And with that, I walked out of her office, out of the building, and towards my Escaled. As I was just pulling out of the parking lot and down the road to look for something decent to eat, we continued to talk.

"Have you seen how much Ember has grown?" Johnny asked.

"Yeah," Jimmy answered with a smile," she's gotten so big. Soon enough, we have to kick boys asses to keep them away from her."

That earned a laugh from everyone. Everyone except myself.

How do they know this little girl? Why weren't they as shocked as I was to know that Emmali was a mother? The girl had to be at least four or five to have those talents. I've never met a child who can draw like a thirty something year old. And what really was bothering me was how that little girl... Looked...So... Much... Like me. As I thought of this, I thought about her age again. She had to be four, four in a half, almost five. She had hazel eyes and dimples. My full bottom lip and semi full upper lip. Looking at the guys, I saw that they were still talking about Ember. That's when it hit me like a ton of bricks.

Pulling to a screeching halt by the curb, I threw my seatbelt off, turned to the guys and yelled:

"I HAVE A DAUGHTER!?!? A FUCKING DAUGHTER YOU KNEW ABOUT AND NEVER TOLD ME?!?"

The guys all looked at me, wide eyed. It was silent for a while before Johnny cut through it.

"Uh-oh," he said.