I'll Be Your Alice in Wonderland
Chapter One
The dormouse, he thought, as Alice In Wonderland played softly from the television; what a wondrous character. It had no special part – played no important character, deserved no Oscar award. At least, not to everybody else.
It was because of that, that the Dormouse was still Ryan’s favorite character, still the one character Ryan looked forward to seeing every time he put that worn, old VHS tape into the player, and pressed play.
August 30th really started out as no different from any other day, to be honest. It was like your average day – no different from the other 364 days – except for that it was Ryan’s birthday. He never really expected it to be great. Considering what had been going on, considering what he’d lost, he pretty much figured that nothing would happen.
By one in the afternoon, he’d grown bored, of sitting and watching the Spanish soap opera’s on television, and decided to put in one of his favorite movies.
So he dug the ratty VHS tape from the cabinet, and stuck it in the VCR player, hitting play sharply, before sitting back down on the couch, covering up with a blanket, curling into himself. The soundtrack echoed throughout the house beautifully, and he smiled, as characters came onto the screen.
It wasn’t long before the entire movie had got him thinking, and his mind wandered as Alice kept talking, and music kept playing.
How he wished he had Wonderland. A place where everything was good, a place where he wasn’t sick, mentally, and physically. A place where love was there, in physical and mental presence.
A place where he could have tea parties with animals that could talk.
He knew it would never happen, but it was okay to dream.
Ryan decided, as he fell asleep that afternoon, he was the Dormouse.
…He hadn’t eaten in three days. He’d been counting. Three days, 72 hours, 4320 minutes. He counted. He knew. It wasn’t that he was scared, or mad, or any of that. Just disappointed that it hadn’t been longer, to be honest. There was always a day when he caved in, and ate something high in sugar and calories. He wasn’t proud of it, but he supposed he’d have no energy at all if he didn’t.
Besides, it got puked back up anyways.
It wasn’t really that he chose for his life to turn out this way, it was more that after 2 years of endless partying and bad influences, losing all of his friends, losing contact with family, and secluding himself, he more or less just ended up here. There was a difference, obviously.
But tonight, he wanted to bake a cake. A vain moment, he supposed, baking a cake for himself on his birthday. One like his dad used to make him, covered in chocolate spread, with a huge chocolate cake underneath.
It took a total of two hours to make, and when it was finished, he could honestly – but pitifully – say, that he enjoyed every bite of it. Only when he was puking it back up did he remember, that in all actuality, this was the worst birthday he’d ever had.
Wonderland, oh, Wonderland, where are you?
It was because of that, that the Dormouse was still Ryan’s favorite character, still the one character Ryan looked forward to seeing every time he put that worn, old VHS tape into the player, and pressed play.
August 30th really started out as no different from any other day, to be honest. It was like your average day – no different from the other 364 days – except for that it was Ryan’s birthday. He never really expected it to be great. Considering what had been going on, considering what he’d lost, he pretty much figured that nothing would happen.
By one in the afternoon, he’d grown bored, of sitting and watching the Spanish soap opera’s on television, and decided to put in one of his favorite movies.
So he dug the ratty VHS tape from the cabinet, and stuck it in the VCR player, hitting play sharply, before sitting back down on the couch, covering up with a blanket, curling into himself. The soundtrack echoed throughout the house beautifully, and he smiled, as characters came onto the screen.
It wasn’t long before the entire movie had got him thinking, and his mind wandered as Alice kept talking, and music kept playing.
How he wished he had Wonderland. A place where everything was good, a place where he wasn’t sick, mentally, and physically. A place where love was there, in physical and mental presence.
A place where he could have tea parties with animals that could talk.
He knew it would never happen, but it was okay to dream.
Ryan decided, as he fell asleep that afternoon, he was the Dormouse.
…He hadn’t eaten in three days. He’d been counting. Three days, 72 hours, 4320 minutes. He counted. He knew. It wasn’t that he was scared, or mad, or any of that. Just disappointed that it hadn’t been longer, to be honest. There was always a day when he caved in, and ate something high in sugar and calories. He wasn’t proud of it, but he supposed he’d have no energy at all if he didn’t.
Besides, it got puked back up anyways.
It wasn’t really that he chose for his life to turn out this way, it was more that after 2 years of endless partying and bad influences, losing all of his friends, losing contact with family, and secluding himself, he more or less just ended up here. There was a difference, obviously.
But tonight, he wanted to bake a cake. A vain moment, he supposed, baking a cake for himself on his birthday. One like his dad used to make him, covered in chocolate spread, with a huge chocolate cake underneath.
It took a total of two hours to make, and when it was finished, he could honestly – but pitifully – say, that he enjoyed every bite of it. Only when he was puking it back up did he remember, that in all actuality, this was the worst birthday he’d ever had.
Wonderland, oh, Wonderland, where are you?