Fantasies

Brian

We were boarding a ship to London. We've all been pretty down lately. Darlie got into a fight with the hooker who's name happens to be Mia. Zach is constantly arguing with Darlie. Darlie smacked him and I saw it, causing me to smack her. I didn't want to do it. I was just so pissed off. She ran away as soon as I did. I had to go out in search for her and I found her completely drunk at a bar.

She spent that entire night puking out her guts.

Matt doesn't say much of anything. He just hits stuff. He cries alot, we all do. We've all been crying way too much. Johnny being killed has come as a shock to all of us. I've been so mad that I can't even look at Darlie in the eye anymore.

If only she hadn't gone out with Mia. If only she would have told me that Vergario knew where we were. If only she would have listened to me, Johnny would've still been here. He would be with us right now.

I shook my head, trying not to cry.

I don't usually cry. But Johnny was the last person I would even expect to die. We weren't careful, so I can't really blame Darlie for all of it. I too played part. If I would have been more strict with Darlie, and if I would have watched everyone's back, none of this would have happened.

We walked into the ship, handing out luggage to some boys who would be taking us up to our room.

Darlie walked by herself, as did Mia. Zach and Matt walked together but ignored each other. Most of the people on here are elderly. It's a relief to be somewhere where there's not so much people.

"I'm going to share a room with Darlie," Mia whispered, "I don't think she's okay by herself."

I nodded and walked towards Zach, touching his shoulder which startled him, "What?" he asked.

"You want me to share a room with you?"

"I'm fine on my own. I'm gonna go take a nap." he said, hitting my back and walking towards the elevator.

I looked at Matt who was looking at the clock. He looked at me and then walked towards the elevator. I followed.

The elevator was pretty crowded. Mostly old women were in there. They smelled of roses, perhaps the closest thing I'll ever come to a decent woman.

"Well, you look young." one of them said and giggled.

"As do you." I said, and turned to the door. It opened and I walked out, leaving a trace of giggles behind me. I walked to my room and unlocked the door. It had a smell that gave me a flashback, but it quickly vanished.

I started undressing and laid on my bed. I don't want to help anyone today. I don't want to listen to people's orders. I don't feel like crying. I don't want to punch a wall. I just want to lay here and think about Johnny.