Status: writing.
Hold Me Close
01
Back in grade 8, I met a boy named Jake. He wasn't attractive, didn't stand out, he was average. No girls were fighting to get him, and I don't really think he minded much. The beginning of the year, we became friends. He was funny; a complete dork really. But he was sweet, and he treated me nicely. He told me all the time that he liked me, but I never felt that way for him. We were in grade eight, relationships weren't really on my mind. It was just a little crush back in junior high. But it grew.. it grew into much more than that. He was there, all the time for me. I liked having that. I never admitted to him that I liked him, not once.
Grade nine came along and we grew closer, we were considered friends. Jake was growing up and he started to become one of those guys that girls wanted. We told each other everything, and we both knew at this point that we liked each other as more than friends. In grade nine, I had turned into a girl that guys hit on, I wasn't one of the girls people wanted a relationship with... but they wanted to hook up with me.
I wasn't good at commitment. It's one of those things a lot of people avoid. I avoided it really well. I wanted to date Jake, I did. But for some reason, I couldn't. My walls were built up, and there was no chance of him getting through. He asked me out one day.
----
Middle of winter, and it was freezing out. Jake had texted and we both decided we wanted to hang out. We have been discussing our feelings lately and I felt as if it'd be awkward to go alone. It was also Valentines Day weekend, and that was a bit nerve racking. I brought my friend Nerissa to come with me to see Jake.
We decided to meet at our school and hangout there. Me and Nerissa got there, and my stomach was making it very clear that I was nervous. I saw him and smiled, and he smiled back. He handed me something, and I looked down to see that it was a small package of Hershey's Kisses. Me, Jake, and Nerissa spent the night hanging in the field of snow. After a while, Nerissa decided to head home and leave me and Jake together.
He was being cute, pulling me down to the snow and hugging me. It felt so.. relationshippy. We walked around for a little, than he stopped and turned to me. He put his hands in my jacket, wrapped them around my stomach and gave me a hug. He said he was cold, but I feel as if he just wanted a hug.
He walked me home and than at the end he asked if I would be his girlfriend. I said maybe, he asked if that meant yes; so I nodded.
I meant it when I said I'd never been in a real relationship.. you'll see why.
Grade nine came along and we grew closer, we were considered friends. Jake was growing up and he started to become one of those guys that girls wanted. We told each other everything, and we both knew at this point that we liked each other as more than friends. In grade nine, I had turned into a girl that guys hit on, I wasn't one of the girls people wanted a relationship with... but they wanted to hook up with me.
I wasn't good at commitment. It's one of those things a lot of people avoid. I avoided it really well. I wanted to date Jake, I did. But for some reason, I couldn't. My walls were built up, and there was no chance of him getting through. He asked me out one day.
----
Middle of winter, and it was freezing out. Jake had texted and we both decided we wanted to hang out. We have been discussing our feelings lately and I felt as if it'd be awkward to go alone. It was also Valentines Day weekend, and that was a bit nerve racking. I brought my friend Nerissa to come with me to see Jake.
We decided to meet at our school and hangout there. Me and Nerissa got there, and my stomach was making it very clear that I was nervous. I saw him and smiled, and he smiled back. He handed me something, and I looked down to see that it was a small package of Hershey's Kisses. Me, Jake, and Nerissa spent the night hanging in the field of snow. After a while, Nerissa decided to head home and leave me and Jake together.
He was being cute, pulling me down to the snow and hugging me. It felt so.. relationshippy. We walked around for a little, than he stopped and turned to me. He put his hands in my jacket, wrapped them around my stomach and gave me a hug. He said he was cold, but I feel as if he just wanted a hug.
He walked me home and than at the end he asked if I would be his girlfriend. I said maybe, he asked if that meant yes; so I nodded.
I meant it when I said I'd never been in a real relationship.. you'll see why.