The Anatomy of a Bitch

I’m not gonna lie and say that I have an extraordinary life or a life so depressing it makes YOU want to go cry in a corner. Sure, my life wasn’t great, but whose is right? Everyone has their issues.

You have the bruised and battered kids from the ghetto who get beat everyday by their drunken parents.

There’s the poor, hallow looking five year old in Zimbabwe who watches his mom’s life slip away into the vast unknown; all because she has AIDS.

Miles away, there’s the frail grandmother in Mexico, who practically lives by the window pane. She watches nervously, as her seven year old grandchild run towards the bus in his overalls and oversized backpack. She lives in turmoil that he will be killed by the drug lords just like his parents.

Hell, you even have the rich kids decked out in Prada and Gucci, whose only child hood memories are hopelessly waiting for mommy and daddy to finally walk in the door on Christmas Eve.

So you see, I know that I don’t merit sympathy. Because, after everything that has happened in these last few weeks, I know that you can overcome your obstacle. You can change who you are; how you’re perceived by others. You can be at your lowest. About to finally take that razor in your shaky hand and end it. But the ONE thing that will keep you hesitating is the fact that you have a choice. You decide your fate. Your future. Your present.

And my present right now was to either get in that ring and face the consequences or walk away and be known as the cowardly doormat forever. No matter what I chose, my life had changed long ago. I was changed. I wasn’t the timid, wallflower Leyla Michaels anymore. That part of me was shattered and destroyed by one guy. Because you see, you can turn your life around. But it only takes ONE person. One chance encounter with someone to set you back and break you all over again.

So it all comes down to one question. When will YOU fight back?
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Here I was again on a Friday morning, left to walk the two remaining blocks to Winchester High School, home to the penguin. No, just joking, no matter how much it would please me to watch the cheerleaders try to find a way to make a penguin sound ferocious; it was actually home to the almighty cougar.

Now, you might ask yourself why a sane person would walk in 40 degree weather, but there’s a simple answer to that. I was dubbed a loser in seventh grade. The grade where titles actually matter and social desolation and popularity begin. If you’re lucky enough to actually have coordination and be socially aware you’re almost instantly propelled to a coveted seat at the “popular table”. Of course like I said before, this didn’t start until seventh grade, and I being one of those who was lacking in the boobs department, had a metal contraption in my mouth, and glasses that would put Harry Potter’s to shame, was shoved all the way down to the bottom of the food chain.

By the time puberty actually set in, it was too late and I was left to watch as people like Landon Matthews and Brooke Peters had their first kiss, first boyfriend, first “fabulously awesome convertible”, first hangover, and first pregnancy scare. Being as how I was never anywhere near those people, I got all this information from walking down the school hallways. People at my school are quite the gossips.

Anyways back to what I was originally saying, I was walking in this windstorm because my cousin, one of the popular kids wasn’t willing to risk her reputation by being seen with me. Instead she chose to risk me getting hypothermia. Nice right?

I finally made it into the heated haven ten minutes before the bell rang. Like normal I rushed to my locker and was met yet again with… no one. I don’t have anyone to meet me at my locker, gush about how cute that new actor is, or to make taunting remarks about how sad it is that the girls at our school throw themselves at the obnoxiously perverted guys. People at school tend to run away from me like I reek of B.O. which I know for a fact I do not. I understand them though. They’re too scared to be seen with me. Knowing that anyone I even dare to politely smile at will get teased endlessly later on by others.

Speaking of... Brooke and that cousin who was exposing me to pneumonia every day, Lindsey, were going on and on about how lucky their friend CeeCee Thomas was to actually sleep with Landon Matthews. Yeah so lucky, I thought. She probably has Chlamydia or something now. That Landon Matthews sure is... adventurous.

You see being an outcast does have its benefits in a way. People don’t notice me and when they do, it’s just to shove me into a locker or make fun of my clothes. It was a routine that I had gotten accustomed to. There’s one good thing that’s come out of it though, I’m observant and notice things most people wouldn’t.

That’s how I know that poor CeeCee Thomas is going to come in at any moment now probably feeling like the luckiest girl in the world in the arms Landon. Sadly, that’s all going to change in a matter of minutes. You see people like Landon Matthews are predictable. He’s good looking, rich, charming, and one of the school’s star athletes. Yet, no matter how douchey he acts, girls still fall for his act. I guess I can see why, they all want to be that special girl that can change him.

Like usual, Landon walks his newest victim to the center of the courtyard where he’s in full view of all his spectators. And the cycle begins again. I just walk away knowing what’s going to happen already.

And it did. “What are you looking at!” barged in CeeCee at the room full of people watching curious of the new drama going on and causing me to flinch. And there you have it. Landon probably told her it was a one-time thing; that it was fun but she was just another easy fuck.
I jogged to the stairs hoping I would make it to safety. It just made things worse though when I tripped and fell at the feet of CeeCee. As soon as I stood up she slapped me.

“You’re such an ugly slut Leyla! Looking at you makes me want to puke. You’re disgusting!” she spat. I didn’t even bother replying because I knew she was just going to keep yelling. “Get out of here!" she continued and pushed me.

Before I rounded the corner, I could barely make out the rest of the student body just laughing at me through my tears. Among them was a smirking Landon, his friends of jocks and cheerleaders, and my cousin trying to avoid my gaze. I just shook my head and wiped the tears away from my sure to be red face. It’s just another day; it’s just another day….