I'll Always Be With You.

**CHANTELLE’S POV**

I walked.

And I didn’t stop. I didn’t know where I was going.

I just needed space.

Away from everything.
Away from everyone.
Away from him.

He didn’t know I had heard every word he had said.

But the one thing Mikey had said that had stuck, was about a baby.

What baby?
Who’s baby?
Was it Eliza’s?
Was it mine?

I shuddered at the thought, it couldn’t have been, I mean why would it be, he would have told me.

But how could I trust him when there were so many things he had lied to me about.

I did overhear Gerard on the phone one night, but I had no idea what the fuck he was talking about.

The one thing that stung was what Mikey had said about Gerard having an affair with me, just before he was about to get married to Eliza.

That hurt like a bitch!

I was so…in love with him. I wasn’t even so sure if those were the right words.

He was just so kind and loving when I was around him, like he had swept me off my feet, even though I barely knew him, it felt like I knew him for an eternity.

But now it felt like nothing exist, like my whole world came crushing down.

Thanks a lot to Gerard Way.

I hated him now, for what he had done, maybe even hate weren’t the right words…Despise. Despise fit perfectly just like a jigsaw puzzle.

These tears that were falling down my face were because of him.

The one I was suppose to call friend.

He just seemed so perfect.

The day I was in hospital after my little spasm attack, he had explained to me that he had cancelled his wedding because he had loved me and I could see it in his eyes that he might have been close to regretting that, but he stuck by his words, he was going to help me.

And he did.

He had the voice of an angel.

But now it seemed as if his once angelic voice were nothing but a bunch of lies..

The one thing I hated more then back-stabbing bitches, were mother fucking liars.

And he was classified as both on my agenda.

I sat down on the chair, put my head in my hands and cried.

I cried, for the way he had used me.
I cried, for the way I had even loved him.

I don’t even know if it was counted as love, we were never intimate.

But oh, how I wished we were.

It was like Cinderella waiting for her prince to come along, and when he did she was only to be surprised with the big bad wolf.

I saw the way those fans had looked up to him at the ice-cream store.

That’s exactly what I had seen.

A man.
A savior.
A hero.

Now all I see is a man, a man who is nothing but a player.

He may have confessed that he loved me, but who would love a man who lied, who cheated.

And the thing is, I was apart of it all, the girl who once did go out with him.

The girl who must have thought he was a man, a savior, a hero.

If I could have anything in the world…It would be to have my memory back.

I wanted to remember everything that had once been.
I wanted to remember what had happened between me and Gerard.
I wanted to remember what had happened to me that night.

Everybody had said I was attacked.

But how could I know that for sure?

For all I know I could have been clumsy and fell down the stairs.

But what could I do? All I could do now was wait…

Wait till I could remember everything.

I got up from the cold chair, and silently walked down the street.

I must have looked like a zombie walking around, head down, hands folded across my chest, trying to keep warm, in the strong winds.

I was an idiot for even walking around with just a jumper and sweats.

I silently walked into the night watching as I walked, till I heard a beat.

A beat that sounded so familiar.

I followed the music, till I saw it.

He had told me they would be playing tonight at New York tonight, looks like he wasn’t really worried about finding me.

The TV was tuned to some music channel; I hadn’t paid attention to the name of the band or the station.

Because I knew straight away who it was.

It was the man everyone called there savior.

There hero.

The one and only Gerard Way.

The lyrics fell from his lips into a beautiful song.

I had heard the song before.

It was so familiar, but yet I didn’t quite know what it was.

But it was beautiful.

Just like the man singing it.

A few words just seemed to stick.

I mean this forever…

The 4 words that just seemed to light up.
The 4 words I had been waiting to hear.
The 4 words were all I need to remember…

To remember everything that had happened.

My childhood.

The affair we had been having.

The accident.

Everything flooded back into my brain, like waves crashing upon to the shore.

Now I wished, I hadn’t remembered.