Her Mystic Bodyguard

It had been a week since you had dispatched Yoyokuza, things were finally settled and you enjoyed dinner with Sesshomaru, Inuyasha and Kagome before they departed in the morning. At least you pretended to enjoy it, to be engaged. Sesshomaru really hadn't spoken to you, except to voice his approval that Yoyokuza was gone. Of course it bugged you that the dog demon was ignoring you, actually the whole relationship with Sesshomaru was confusing and bothersome,
but the real issue was the guilt that whispered in your head and tugged at your soul. Some nights found your dreams a replay of the night you slayed Yoyokuza, except the children were not set free, Yoyokuza would fall to the ground and you would hear the children screaming, Yoyokuza laughing that you had damned them and their wails would startle you awake. After the first one you tried to avoid sleep, only falling into a slumber when the sky began to lighten.
It was hell on you and it showed. Violent purple half moons began to show under your eyes, using rouge only made you look more ghastly and you didn't want to paint your whole face everyday just to cover them. So you just left your hair down, combed but down keeping most of the attention from your eyes, it was worth the shot.

Dinner was done and you were in your room, having turned Rin down again to play. It was hard looking at her face, you knew what you did, everything you've done and will do was for her, but it still didn't lessen the pain. You inhaled deeply as a breeze carried into your room, your eyes closed when a knock came at the door.

"Come in."

You grogged and Kagome entered, followed by Inuyasha. Great, just what I needed, his eyes looking into me, knowing what I did... You managed a weak smile. Kagome sat on the bed next to you, Inuyasha sat on the floor by the balcony.

"We're going to leave early in the morning and I didn't want to go before saying good-bye. I'm really glad I got to know you and you're like a good friend. Here I want you to have this."

Kagome pulled a box out of her bag and opened it, revealing a pretty silver chain that items also in silver around it. There were stars, a crescent moon, a sword, a hair pin resembling one like Rin wears, an owl and a wolf. You blushed a bit as it reminded you of Sesshomaru and you knew that was why Kagome had it made. You took it and put it on. It looked beautiful and it made light tinkling sounds.

"It's lovely Kagome, thank you."

She gave you one of the most warm smiles you've seen, and embraced you for a second.

"It's like mine, I thought it would be fitting."

She pulled up her sleeve and you saw a bracelet almost like yours, hers was golden and there were different items on hers.

"Come on Kagome, we should go to sleep."

You watched Kagome nod her head and you gave her a last smile and wished them safe travels. When your door shut you sighed a breath of relief, then cried a bit before falling to sleep.

*`*

"Who's there?"

You hissed, a hand on your dagger under your pillow. Your heart was hammering in your chest with the fright of being woken up by a strange sound, but you heard a familiar voice.

"Hnph. Relax it's just me."

Inuyasha's smug voice sounded in your ears, barely above the tattoo of your heart. You calmed down a bit and sat up, Inuyasha was standing by your door and you narrowed your eyes at him.

"Is this a thing with you, sneaking into people's rooms?"

"Hardly. I wanted to talk to you. I can see the guilt, it's all over your face, I can practically smell it."

You continued to glare at him.

"Look I know what guilt can do to you, you need to let it go."

"Let it go? How? If I let it go, act like I don't care..... well that makes me as bad as Yoyokuza doesn't it?"

"Come on, are you serious! So what you're saying is that if you keep the guilt with you, let it tear at you, endure the pain that it will relieve the guilt, you think you have to punish yourself?"

You were angry but you looked away from him, the look in his eyes and the tone in his voice shamed you.

"What would you know."

"I loved somebody and it was my fault that she died."

Shocked you forgot about yourself and looked up at him, but he was staring into empty space, his eyes a reflective yellow gold.

"At least I felt that way, and I believed it. I couldn't handle it. I was ready to give up my life when Kagome stopped me. I had forgotten my reason for being here, what made me happy. Like she always does she appeared and made me realize. What happened was horrible, but I can't change it, I accept it and move on. Even if I could change it I wouldn't, because then I wouldn't of found Kagome."

You were still stunned but found your voice, even if a bit uncertain.

"Yeah but what if I had trapped those children.."

"But you didn't. And if you had you would do your damnest to fix it. Who you are and who you will be is what's more important. And to me you're alright. Don't you have something to be here for? Something that makes you happy."

Some tears escaped your eyes as you thought of those things. You nodded your head and said thanks.

"Yeah whatever."

Inuyasha replied, to which you let out a teary laugh as he left the room. You wiped your eyes and took a deep breath as you thought of what you were about to do. Pulling on your slippers you left your room and padded down the stone halls, towards a certain silver haired yokai's room. Your heart was thrumming as it had earlier but you took some calming breaths and opened the doors. You got a few steps in when his icy voice froze you to your spot.

"What are you doing?"

"You're an idiot!"

Your face felt like it was filled with all the blood in your body, you hadn't meant for that to come out, or at least not be your first words. Silence swirled around the room and you continued.

"I know you like me Sesshomaru, not too long ago you came to me and professed it! I don't understand what's happening between us and I can't stand another minute of it. I want you, yet you toy with me. When you came to me I was shocked, but happy that you expressed your feelings for me. But now...now I can't help but see it as you trying to play with me. I won't take that."

Your tirade lost heat as you winded down, but you felt all those things and you had calmed down a bit. Sesshomaru said nothing and you were about to leave when sound brought your attention to his bed. The great dog demon slowly rose from his bed, as if uncoiling as his long, lean body came to full height. You swallowed a bit, silhouetted against the moon his form looked dangerous, intimidating. As he came forward you could see his features better,
his warm amber eyes were analyzing you and you started to regret coming here like this. He stopped a few front from you, you could smell him, a dizzying cologne of warmth and sharp scents.

You looked up to meet his eyes when his arm shot out at your head, you winced but felt nothing, except cool fingertips running from the corner of your eye towards your ear, brushing away a strand. Your heart was practically galloping out of your chest, you knew if you touched your face it would feel very warm. The hand that brushed away the hair
now grabbed you and pulled you into his chest. It was smooth, yet you could feel the muscles bunched underneath, the solidity of his dog demon bones. And his heart. You could hear his heart, it wasn't thrumming away like hummingbird's wings, but it did seem to beat at a slightly altered tempo. Fingers under your chin brought you out of your reverie and your eyes met his ocher ones. They were so beautiful, you were so busy staring that you almost missed the other
hand untying the obi of your nightdress. You put your hands against his chest, and pushed, but it was like trying to move a tree, a very large, sturdy tree.

"What's wrong?"

His hand had stopped, but it was still holding the tie.

"Um, well..... I mean..."

It was hard to find the words, yet you were also thinking weren't you the one who came into his room, telling him he was an idiot and demanding to know why he was acting like he never wanted you? Now here he was on the verge of doing something, something your body obviously wanted and you were protesting.

"I just, I didn't think this was going to happen right now."

Sesshomaru regarded you for a second before pulling away, when he did you felt like something was missing.

"Now it feels like you're playing with me."

He replied in that toneless voice of his, so hard to discern any sentiment.

"No! It's not that, really-"

"Then what is the problem? Do you know how hard it's been for me? It ate at me knowing that I was getting sentimental over a human, then when I knew I had feelings for you.... I wanted you, seeing you was enough to make me feel out of control."

He stopped and your heart did a back flip, here was Sesshomaru the great demon of the west sharing his feelings... It was enough to make you feel giddy, to almost smile or even giggle. But you knew better than that. You walked up to him, unsure if he would turn away, when he didn't you laid your head upon his chest again, well almost he was very tall and you barely reached it, but still. When he didn't reciprocate the hold you almost pulled back, but
then strong arms encased you.

"I don't mind holding you."

He breathed and you nodded. In a swift, easy motion he hooked his arm under your legs and carried you to his bed, laying you down softly. Then facing each other he brought you to his chest and you smiled, finding easy sleep.