365 Days.

The knife slips from the apple sharply,
cutting my skin.
I wince and give a light gasp.
For a moment,
I simply stare at the cut on my thumb,
before shoving my hand under some water,
washing off the blood.
After that,
I resume peeling the apple,
but the knife decides to be mean and cuts me again.

“I give up,”
I say and put the knife down,
looking expectantly at Magnus.

Magnus glances over,
frowns,
and walks up to me.
He takes the knife and apple,
and easily peels off the skin.
“There,
simple and easy…
You just need to try and try again.”
His voice is soft,
he doesn’t scold me for my mistakes.

“But I have tried,”
I whine a protest,
“And-”
I’m cut off as suddenly,
I feel hands on my shoulder and cheek.

Magnus is looking down at me,
eyes careful,
watchful,
serious.
“You will not give up,
you will keep trying.”

I stare up at Magnus for a second,
shake my head and turn away.
“I don’t have a choice.”

“Because I don’t want to die.
I want to live.”

“And that is why you should keep trying,
even the smallest things count.
You can still live.
You are young.”
Magnus drops his hands down,
looks at me one more time.
“Promise me you will keep fighting.”

My breath gets caught in my throat just as I almost do.
I can’t say the words though,
I cannot promise to him that I will keep fighting,
cause in the end,
I will not have the strength.
The hospital’s life support will be the only reason my heart will beat,
the only reason I will take a breath.