Status: Awkward 3 year hiatus is over. Probs lost all my readers. RIP. Comment or something if you want this ongoing :)
365 Days.
323.
“You know,
you shouldn’t have gone.
What if you didn’t just fall,
but also had broken something?
Like your neck or cracked your head open?
You wouldn’t be here,
if you didn’t fall into a coma first.”
Chase pulls the cigarette away from his mouth,
blows out some smoke and glances at me.
His gaze is dark,
hair styled like always,
Mohawk like,
only smaller and with a fringe over one eye.
you shouldn’t have gone.
What if you didn’t just fall,
but also had broken something?
Like your neck or cracked your head open?
You wouldn’t be here,
if you didn’t fall into a coma first.”
Chase pulls the cigarette away from his mouth,
blows out some smoke and glances at me.
His gaze is dark,
hair styled like always,
Mohawk like,
only smaller and with a fringe over one eye.
I look over at him.
Christ,
even turning my head hurts.
I grit my teeth,
wait for the pain to subside before shrugging softly.
Again,
pain erupts in my shoulders and shoulder blades.
“I wanted to make sure you guys didn’t get into a fight…”
Christ,
even turning my head hurts.
I grit my teeth,
wait for the pain to subside before shrugging softly.
Again,
pain erupts in my shoulders and shoulder blades.
“I wanted to make sure you guys didn’t get into a fight…”
Chase snorts,
looks away and takes another drag on his cancer stick.
“So you go fall off the half-pipe,
not just any half-pipe,
not just any ramp,
but the Death Ramp.
Sounds genius.”
He taps his cigarette,
sending bits of ash everywhere.
looks away and takes another drag on his cancer stick.
“So you go fall off the half-pipe,
not just any half-pipe,
not just any ramp,
but the Death Ramp.
Sounds genius.”
He taps his cigarette,
sending bits of ash everywhere.
I cough lightly
and cover my nose with my sleeve,
shooting the tobacco stick in Chase’s hand a disapproving glance.
and cover my nose with my sleeve,
shooting the tobacco stick in Chase’s hand a disapproving glance.
Chase glances in my direction using just his eyes,
but doesn’t say anything.
but doesn’t say anything.
The lake in front of us is peaceful.
Ducks swim to and fro,
little ducklings paddling after them.
Miniature black storks prod the water with their long beaks,
frogs croak and jump away from their long skinny legs.
Somewhere in the distance,
birds sing to their mates.
It’s beautiful.
Ducks swim to and fro,
little ducklings paddling after them.
Miniature black storks prod the water with their long beaks,
frogs croak and jump away from their long skinny legs.
Somewhere in the distance,
birds sing to their mates.
It’s beautiful.
Chase clears his throat and give a cough.
My heart sinks as I recognize the type of cough he has.
Uncle Jake had one.
A smoker’s cough.
“How long have you been smoking for?”
I ask,
glancing over,
hoping he wouldn’t start swearing.
Uncle Jake had one.
A smoker’s cough.
“How long have you been smoking for?”
I ask,
glancing over,
hoping he wouldn’t start swearing.
“Why?”
His voice sounds somewhat defensive.
Avoiding my gaze,
he coughs a bit again.
His voice sounds somewhat defensive.
Avoiding my gaze,
he coughs a bit again.
”I’m just curious…”
“Two years.”
”So you started when you were sixteen?”
I look up at him,
That’s a bit young…
I look up at him,
That’s a bit young…
“No.”
I frown for a second.
“Then when did you-"
“Then when did you-"
“I was thirteen when I took my first,
and at fourteen started to smoke.
Ditched till I was sixteen and then took it up again.”
and at fourteen started to smoke.
Ditched till I was sixteen and then took it up again.”
Very early.
“Why?”
“Why?”
“I like it.”
The answer is simple,
he doesn’t sound like he wants to continue the conversation.
The answer is simple,
he doesn’t sound like he wants to continue the conversation.
I sit in silence for a few more moments.
A guy rides past on his bicycle and smiles to us.
I give him a small wave.
The bench we sit on starts too cool down as the sun’s warmth seeps from it.
It starts to get cold.
Shivering,
I snuggle more into my jacket,
and look on as children play on the playground that’s located beside us.
I can almost imagine what my mother had felt like,
watching little me run about with the other kids,
laugh and play pirates,
swinging on the swings,
look through the binoculars.
My heart tightens for a second.
“Can we walk?”
I turn to Chase and stand.
It’s too cold to sit down.
A guy rides past on his bicycle and smiles to us.
I give him a small wave.
The bench we sit on starts too cool down as the sun’s warmth seeps from it.
It starts to get cold.
Shivering,
I snuggle more into my jacket,
and look on as children play on the playground that’s located beside us.
I can almost imagine what my mother had felt like,
watching little me run about with the other kids,
laugh and play pirates,
swinging on the swings,
look through the binoculars.
My heart tightens for a second.
“Can we walk?”
I turn to Chase and stand.
It’s too cold to sit down.
”Excuse me,”
a little voice pipes up.
a little voice pipes up.
I look over.
In front of me stands a little boy.
His eyes are resting on the side of my face.
In front of me stands a little boy.
His eyes are resting on the side of my face.
“What happened to your face?”
He asks,
looking curious but not mocking.
He asks,
looking curious but not mocking.
“I fell.”
I reply simply and softly.
I reply simply and softly.
”Oh.”
The boy looked like he wanted to add something,
but a female voice calls him over and he runs away with a wave.
The boy looked like he wanted to add something,
but a female voice calls him over and he runs away with a wave.
I watch him go,
cuddle up to his mother who takes his hand and they head away.
cuddle up to his mother who takes his hand and they head away.
“Are we going or what?”
Chase had stood,
and now was impatiently bouncing on the balls of his feet.
Chase had stood,
and now was impatiently bouncing on the balls of his feet.
I shoot the kid one more glance before nodding,
“Yeah,
let’s go.”
“Yeah,
let’s go.”