The School Of Self Destruction
Gareth - Toast
They made me share a room.
I am seventeen years old.
I am of sound body and mind and yet I have to share a room with this little...
He cries at night.
It keeps me awake.
I lay there, and think about shoving his pillow down his whiny little throat.
Nobody loves me, they left me here because I'm all alone and nobody understands.
Blah blah blah.
I wish he'd grow a backbone and use what he's been given.
Ostracized by society?
Go destroy what society stands for. Destroy yourself if that's what it requires.
The populace expect nothing from you.
Expect nothing from them.
You owe them nothing.
If they don't care, then you shouldn't care.
The best kind of pain is exquisite.
And the most exquisite type of pain,
Is the kind you give to yourself.
~ ~ ~
I talked to the card playing girls at the communal breakfast table.
Alice and Bethany.
I apologized to them, for being so arrogant the other day.
They bought it.
Alice politely inquired as to why I was here.
I told her I'd realized what effect my actions were having on people.
I wasn't lying that time.
Bethany excused herself, saying that she had to go find Elizabeth.
"Who's Elizabeth?" I asked Alice.
"Oh she's a friend of ours. Elizabeth Hanson. She's been here for a few months." she replied, taking a sip of her juice.
"Hanson, ay?" I took another piece of toast and started buttering it. "Sounds familiar."
"You know her?" Alice looked interested. Too interested. "I'll introduce you if you want."
"No, wait." I paused and put my toast down, as if I required empty hands to think. "Mmm Bop."
"What?"
"The song. By Hanson. That's why the name sounds familiar." I cut the toast and offered her half.
She took it with a smile and I moved the discussion onto other, safer topics. Ones where I couldn't be caught out. The dining room emptied and filled around us, people coming and going for some time before anybody joined us.
It was the boy from the card game.
Felix.
He kept throwing nervous glances at me. Like I was going to attack him.
Personally, I don't trust him.
He seems to be too aware of things.
I offered him the rest of my toast.
Food seems to be the easiest way to win people over. They automatically think you must be a caring, loving, normal human being.
Oh how wrong they are.
I am seventeen years old.
I am of sound body and mind and yet I have to share a room with this little...
He cries at night.
It keeps me awake.
I lay there, and think about shoving his pillow down his whiny little throat.
Nobody loves me, they left me here because I'm all alone and nobody understands.
Blah blah blah.
I wish he'd grow a backbone and use what he's been given.
Ostracized by society?
Go destroy what society stands for. Destroy yourself if that's what it requires.
The populace expect nothing from you.
Expect nothing from them.
You owe them nothing.
If they don't care, then you shouldn't care.
The best kind of pain is exquisite.
And the most exquisite type of pain,
Is the kind you give to yourself.
~ ~ ~
I talked to the card playing girls at the communal breakfast table.
Alice and Bethany.
I apologized to them, for being so arrogant the other day.
They bought it.
Alice politely inquired as to why I was here.
I told her I'd realized what effect my actions were having on people.
I wasn't lying that time.
Bethany excused herself, saying that she had to go find Elizabeth.
"Who's Elizabeth?" I asked Alice.
"Oh she's a friend of ours. Elizabeth Hanson. She's been here for a few months." she replied, taking a sip of her juice.
"Hanson, ay?" I took another piece of toast and started buttering it. "Sounds familiar."
"You know her?" Alice looked interested. Too interested. "I'll introduce you if you want."
"No, wait." I paused and put my toast down, as if I required empty hands to think. "Mmm Bop."
"What?"
"The song. By Hanson. That's why the name sounds familiar." I cut the toast and offered her half.
She took it with a smile and I moved the discussion onto other, safer topics. Ones where I couldn't be caught out. The dining room emptied and filled around us, people coming and going for some time before anybody joined us.
It was the boy from the card game.
Felix.
He kept throwing nervous glances at me. Like I was going to attack him.
Personally, I don't trust him.
He seems to be too aware of things.
I offered him the rest of my toast.
Food seems to be the easiest way to win people over. They automatically think you must be a caring, loving, normal human being.
Oh how wrong they are.