Finding Calix

It’s been two weeks since tour started and luckily there hasn’t been any drama, thank god, I was finally starting to relax a little bit. Unfortunately we were out of food and since Ally went last week I was going to go this week. I was just going to leave Mason with Scout, but he really wanted to go and Scout deserved a break. I just hope he doesn’t misbehave too badly.

Making our way into the foreign market, Mason was trying to persuade me to let him get one of the mini carts. Finally, I gave in against my better judgment. Down the sixth isle he began to get antsy. And the eighth despite my pleas to watch where he was headed, as I was debating upon which Kraft dinner to get when I heard a take off, followed by a crash. Pinching the bridge of my nose looked up to see what he had run into. Imagine my surprise when I saw a man with bright blue eyes, and the same dark purple bruises under his eyes was holding his shin telling my crying son that “It was fine, it was an accident.”
“Yeh Mums dowin’ a propeh job of watchin yeh spud.” Mason nodded shyly getting turtle syndrome. I felt my heart beat start racing, my cheeks flushed, and my mouth went dry. I had pictured this reunion a million times, not to mention worried about it a bazillion in the past week and a half, but never ONCE did I imagine it was going to be like this…

I was brought back to reality when I felt someone tugging on my hand. I bent down to Mason’s eye level.

“Sorry Ma.” Lightly grabbing his chin in my hand I made him look at me.

“I am not the one you owe an apology to. Now go tell that man your sorry.” I said and didn’t fail to notice the small smirk he had before he said,

“Mommy, you told me never to talk to strangers though.” Now normally I would have found this funny, but today my patience was wearing thin. Practically all of my nerves were shot. I fixed him with an unimpressed stare and he just laughed. This was reaching the beyond frustrating stage.

“Mason Jordan Sykes, apologize to that man or I swear next time I’ll be leaving you with Aunt Scout.” I whispered the beginning so Tom wouldn’t hear the last name.

“Listen Lass i’s realleh no problem, he was just bein’ a lil one… meh an’ my brub got in teh far worse trouble than this at the market wiff our Mum.” He said and I found myself shaking my head at the situation and how amazing it was to hear that accent after 5 years. I sighed as I looked up at him through my hair so he wouldn’t see and recognize me.

“No he’ll apologize, he was wrong and he needs to know he was wrong…” I trailed off when he leaned down toward Mason.

“Why don’ we make a deal Lil man?” he said and Mason nodded at him and I found myself thinking Oh you can’t talk to strangers but you can make a deal with them. Great, look how amazing I am with my parenting.

“Let meh kick yeh and we’ll call it even.” I laughed as Mason’s eyes bugged out of his head.

“Mom did you hear this psycho?” he said turning to me.

“Oi! First yeh hit meh in meh shin wiff yeh mini buggeh, then yeh callin’ meh psycho! What happened teh manners in young lads!” Tom, the stranger ranted and I held back a laugh until a little old lady scooted by and said,
“Amen Son!” which caused my mouth to drop and Tom to laugh before he looked at me. This was it I was caught, he looked at me and realization donned on his face.

Toms Pov.
I walked into the store with Oli, who had been complaining the entire ride here about having to come to the store. He had been pouting ever since I’d yelled at him about being a baby and told him he could either whine about never having food or he could get off his own arse and get some.

“Let’s split up an’ make this go fasteh.” I said handing him half of the list the guys had compiled. I really didn’t care about making this trip go faster. I liked getting away from the bus and the guys for a little bit. The silence and awkwardness with Oli was getting to me. I wasn’t going to apologize though, because I was right. We split up as I suggested and I went to get some Mac’ and Cheese as per Lee’s request. I honestly had no clue why he liked that shit; it was gross and way too fucking cheesy for my taste buds. The second I turned down the isle I found myself being slammed in the shin by a midget with mini buggy. This of course sent me jumping up and down on one foot while I was rubbing my shin. The midget was trying to apologize, but must have been finding it difficult thought all that laughing. Once the pain subsided a little I stopped and looked down to see upon further inspection the midget was actually a kid. He couldn’t have been any older than six, which I guess would explain the laughing.

“I-I’m…s…sorry.” He said eventually between laughs and I nodded.

“Its fine, it was an accident I guess.” I said but what shocked me was how a parent could miss the fact that A) their kid was missing and B) the loud ass noise that buggy made when it hit me.

“Yeh Mums dowin’ a propeh job of watchin yeh spud.” I said and he nodded not saying a word before leaving the cart and running away towards a young women who couldn’t have been older than 25, and was standing further down the isle, staring at the spot he just left and pinching the bridge of her nose. I sighed making my way towards her intending to tell her to keep better track of her kid. The kid said something before she leaned down and grasped his chin. I saw her say something but couldn’t hear what seeing as I was too far away. I did get close enough in time to hear the kid say

“Mommy, you told me never to talk to strangers though” he smirked just as I decided I liked this kid; he reminded me a lot of myself when I was just a spud. The Mom said something in a low voice that I couldn’t hear and I hope it wasn’t anything bad like ‘I’ll get you for this later.’ Her voice raised enough so that I could hear her and she said,

“Apologize to that man or I swear next time I’ll be leaving you with Aunt Scout.” She said, her voice sounded familiar but I couldn’t quite pin point it. I decided that was a little harsh so I’d step in.

“Listen Lass i’s realleh no problem, he was just bein’ a lil one. Meh an’ my brub got in teh far worse trouble than this at the market wiff our Mum.” I said truthfully. I remember this one time where Mum took Oli and I and we were messing about and I ended up running into the orange bin and knocked all of them over. Literally there was only like one orange left in that bin. Mum had made us pick all of them up and restack them just the way they had been before we came through there like a hurricane and threw them here and there, as our Mum said.

“No he’ll apologize, he was wrong and he needs to know he was wrong…” she said and I realized her voice reminded me of Calix. I hated things that reminded me of her, so I decided to lean down and address the kid instead. She trailed off watching me as I did so.

“Why don’ we make a deal Lil man.” I said and he nodded

“Let meh kick yeh and we’ll call it even” I said and his eyes bulged out of his head as he turned to his Mom who laughed.

“Mom did you hear this psycho!” the kid said and I know he wasn’t talking about me, why was I defending this kid again. I was truly offended.

“Oi! First yeh hit meh in meh shin wiff yeh mini buggeh, then yeh callin’ meh psycho! What happened teh manners in young lads!” I said and this little old woman came by scooting along in the carts they had for people.

“Amen Son!” she said causing me to laugh and look up at the Woman who had her jaw dropped do the ground. As I saw her for the first time up close, everything stopped. It couldn’t be her, not now, not when I’d finally gotten her out of my head 24/7. Not when I’d just started acting like myself. Yet here she was, with a kid! It just wasn’t possible that this woman with Brownish red and black hair and A CHILD could possibly be MY Calix.

The more that I thought about it, I realized that it was entirely possible. She left five years ago, how old had I predicted the kid to be? As I looked down at him, I saw his blue eyes and I knew. I looked back up at her and shook my head. I was so confused, this was insane. The first time I would see her again is in a supermarket, with a kid… my kid. How do I deal with this, what the hell do I say! Was this why she left? Did she think I’d want her to give him up? I mean just what the hell? Just as this thought left my head I saw her grab her messenger bag and swoop the kid up. I could just stand there frozen as I watched her sprint away, seeing my eyes looking back at me the whole time. I didn’t even know his name. That thought alone got me move again, even though I knew I was too late. She was already gone. He was gone. Once again I was going to be left picking up whatever I had left of my life and going on in a world where I didn’t even want to be anymore. In that one moment of calm, and peace before the sadness hit I felt… relieved. This time I actually got to see her walk away. This time I got to see her one last time. I walked outside sitting on the curb trying to process what exactly just happened. I mean I didn’t even get the chance to say wait. When had she got so fit, well I mean she’d always been fit, but she had always hated running, well exercise of any kind? It always amazed me that she stayed so thin, with how much she ate, and how she never actually worked it off. Unless you count when she went through a hyper fit and wouldn’t stop jumping off the walls. As I sat there I couldn’t help reliving what just happened. Catching little details I had missed during the initial meeting. She still carried a messenger bag instead of a purse. She had started wearing Vans, when we were together she only ever wore Converse. She liked You Me At Six, I wonder if she knew that Oli worked with them. She had been wearing a shirt so I’d assume so. She still wore skinny jeans. She was still my Calix, appearance wise at least. Except for the hair that was the biggest change. She used to change it every month. Always something outrageous, lightening blue, electric green, bright purple, my favorite was when she did it a bright sunshine yellow. It made her brown eyes pop. God I’d missed her so much. The worst part was, for a fleeting second I thought I might have her back, and then she ran. Again.