Merry Christmas, Darling

September 2013
"You're away around Christmas," Rowan Nodl stated quietly, pressing her hands lightly against her swollen abdomen. She could feel Andreas' hands gently rubbing her shoulders, before they slowly slid down and wrapped her in a warm, comforting embrace.

"I know, mein liebling, I know," Andreas said, holding Rowan close to him. The schedule had been out since June, but Rowan obviously hadn't thought about it until training camp began. After all, she was used to him being away for holidays. Normally, he would have her fly out to wherever they were for a couple of days, and then she would go back to Philadelphia while he continued the road-trip. She hadn't cared in June when she didn't even for sure that she was pregnant and the hormones hadn't really kicked in yet. But now that they had Andreas was in for a very long beginning of the season, considering the baby was due in early December. Already the mood swings had been almost too much for him to handle.

"You're always away for Christmas," Rowan continued in that same, soft voice, and Andreas pulled her closer to him, kissing the side of her head. He knew that if this was any other time, she wouldn't be so upset about it. But she was nearly seven months pregnant. "You're going to miss our baby's first Christmas."

Andreas bit back a sigh, and instead kissed Rowan's temple. "I swear to you, Roe, I will not miss our baby's first Christmas."

"Promise?"

Andreas just smiled. "Double-pinky promise."


November 2013
"Andreas?"

"Hm?" Andreas hummed, pressing his phone closer to his ear. He looked out at the Montreal skyline, just wanting to be home already. It was closing in on midnight, but he always talked to Rowan before he went to sleep. He didn't want to disturb Matty Carle though, and stood out on the balcony. It was surprisingly warm for Montreal in November.

"I miss you."

The quiet tone in Rowan's voice tore at Andreas' heart. He hated being so far away from her in the final stages of the pregnancy, but he needed to do his job. Coach Lavi had even given him the three day road trip off to stay with her, but Andreas couldn't afford to skip out on these early games, especially when he already knew there would be games that he just couldn't play once the baby came. When Rowan found out that he decided to go up to Canada for the road trip when he was given the option to stay home, she was pissed and didn't talk to him for a few days. Then he had to leave for the road trip, and ever since he had been feeling terrible.

"I know, Roe, I miss you too. We'll be home tomorrow right after the game." Andreas was quiet for a moment and he could feel his eyes closing, even as he stood in the coolness of the Montreal night. "I love you."

"I love you too."

"I'll see you tomorrow. Sleep well, love."

"Night, Dreas," Rowan said sleepily and Andreas smiled as he ended the call, his heart flipping. Everything would be alright.


"Oh my God, never again!" Andreas flinched in the locker room as Rowan's voice echoed throughout from his phone. He was stripping out of his gear as fast as he could, needing to get to the hospital. He was lucky that there was someone who could hold his phone for the practice; Danny was sitting out with a persistently bad wrist. Unfortunately, Danny had also taken the brunt of Rowan's yelling as well. Luckily the practice today was pretty much optional, given that they didn't have a game until Black Friday, which was three days from now.

"Don't worry, Roe, I'm on my way. I'll be there soon," Andreas almost cooed into the phone, glad to be outside and jogging towards his car. If any of his teammates heard him say that, he would never live it down. When he got closer to his car, he noticed Danny sitting on the hood. He didn't know whether to be thankful or confused about the fact.

"C'mon, I'll drive you," Danny stated, pushing up from the hood with his good wrist; he was still favoring his left wrist. Andreas just tossed him the keys before getting in on the passenger's side, his foot already bouncing up and down. It was only five minutes into the ride, in the right direction, that Andreas turned to look at someone he often looked up to as a mentor.

"How do you know what hospital's she's in?"

"I had her tell me, along with the room and floor. Knew you would be too frazzled to get the nurses to tell you once we got there." Danny flashed him a brief smile, and it was hard to believe that he was thirty-six years old. "She wanted you here fast, but she wanted to know you would be safe."

Andreas should be angry -- after all, he's twenty-six years old, not a child, and was able to drive himself -- but he didn't feel anything other than anxiety for his first child to be born. That, and just utter gladness to have Danny here with him. Andreas couldn’t think of a better person to be with him; Danny had, after all, gone through three births, and he seemed no worse for wear. Surely Andreas could go through it too. When Danny clapped him on the shoulder, almost like an older brother, Andreas felt slightly more at ease.

At about the fifth hour of labor, Andreas wondered how the hell fathers did this all the time, especial fathers of multiples births. He couldn’t come up with any answers.

Going into the thirteenth hour of labor, Andreas promised himself he would never let Rowan go through this ever again. It was, of course, for purely selfish reasons. He just did not want to have all the bones in his hand slowly ground together ever again.

When Johanna Rose Nodl came into the world at just after five o’clock in the morning on November 20, Andreas was not ashamed to say he shed a few tears. If later asked, he said it was because Rowan basically cut off all feeling to his hand, and even hockey players have limits. It, of course, had nothing to do with the fact that he cut umbilical cord of his first born child, a beautiful daughter even with all the blood and gunk, a daughter that had just the right amount of everything and a set of lungs to break glass.

Only Rowan, in her pure exhausted state, truly understood. The love that shone in his eyes, that emanated from his very being, was all Rowan needed to see to understand what he was feeling. Or maybe it was because she was feeling the exact same way.


December 23, 2013
“Allow it’s been said many times, many ways,” Rowan sung softly, almost a coo, “merry Christmas to you.” She smiled down at her sleeping angel, kissing her tuff of dark hair, before getting up to put her in the crib. It was unbelievable that it had been over a month since she was born; she still felt and looked just as little as she had when she’d been born. Rowan stood looking over Johanna until she heard the song on her phone change.

“Greeting cards have all been sent. The Christmas rush is through…” Rowan could feel her heart seize up and she quietly tried to make it out of the nursery before she completely lost it. She couldn’t remember the last holiday that she’d been away from Andreas. It had to be their first year of dating. It had been too hectic a year to try and fly out to the west coast and be with him.

Ever since that first year, though, they always made it a habit to be together for the holidays. It was always easy when the Flyers had games on the east coast; they were usually home. When they were on the west coast, Andreas would fly her out and they would celebrate together.

But this year, with Andreas being on the west coast and Rowan having Johanna to take care of, they just couldn’t do it this year. Normally, she would be able to make it through Merry Christmas, Darling. It was one of her absolutely favorite songs. But it was hitting too close to home at the moment to be a song she wanted to hear. She turned off the song, but it still continued around her head, especially as she sank into her favorite chair in front of their fireplace. She just wanted to be with Andreas, to have him with her to celebrate Johanna’s first Christmas, together like the family they were.

Rowan didn’t know how long she sat in front of the fireplace, staring at the pictures on the mantle. But before she knew it, Johanna was crying and she needed to go get her angel. She stayed in the nursery for a little while, trying to get the infant to settle down, but nothing was working. So, tugging the little elf hat more firmly on Johanna’s head, Rowan once again walked downstairs to go sit in their warm living room. She was just passing the front door when she could hear keys being jingled outside. She quickly ducked into the living room, hoping to God it wasn’t a home invader.

Before she could help herself her thoughts were moving a mile a minute, images of robbers killing Johanna in front of her. She bit her lip to keep from crying out, shaking her head to rid herself of the morbid images. While she shook her head, her eyes caught someone taking off a hat and scarf in the hallway. The messy head of brown hair that came into view was one she swore she had memorized.

“Andreas?” she called softly, stepping out of the living room with Johanna held protectively in her arms. When Andreas turned around, his green eyes tired, she closed her eyes and opened them again. Instead of being in the hallway in that short period, she was in his arms. She breathed in everything that was uniquely Andreas, the smell of the ice and his aftershave, a combination she could never get enough of.

“Fröhliche Weihnachten,” he whispered, holding her just the little bit tighter before pulling away, brushing a kiss over Johanna’s head. He looked confused at the hat on her head.

“She’s our little elf,” Rowan supplied quietly, her heart still painful in her chest. Unlike before, it had nothing to be with missing him, and everything to do with his wonderful surprise. Andreas just stepped away from them, his eyes shining with his smile as he looked at Rowan.

“As long as you’re Mrs. Claus, I’m okay with Johanna the Elf,” he replied cheekily, and Rowan, in spite of herself, giggled. Andreas always had a way with making Rowan laugh at the simplest of things. She took a deep breath, asking the question that has been burning her mind.

“What are you doing home? I know you have a game in Vancouver on Boxing Day, and you were already there…” Andreas just raised his hand to her cheek, gently stroking her skin with feather light touches.

“I promised you I wouldn’t miss our baby’s first Christmas,” Andreas said simply. “I don’t break my promises.”

When the gentle kiss was broken, Rowan had a content smile on her lips. Even though she knew it wasn’t Christmas yet, she couldn’t help but return Andreas’ greeting. “Merry Christmas, darling.”