Chapters On A Page

It took me no time at all to succumb to the pressure I felt to agree to let my friends throw a party in my house while my mom went out of town. I then spent almost the entirety of the next day trying to take it back by convincing each of them separately that I had been out of my mind and that I was calling it off. None of them were allowing me to plead insanity though and laughed all of my words off while reminding me how exciting the whole ordeal was going to be. I fidgeted the whole day, never comfortable with my position in all of the planning that I could hear going on around me. It was a good thing my mom left that evening after triple checking that I remembered everything I needed to know while she was gone, leaving me to nervously pace the length of the kitchen several times over. I didn't calm down until Kaylee came in, blocking the straight path I had been taking for over an hour and taking my hand. She had no clue what was going on inside my brain, so it wasn't comforting words that did it. It was just the simple fact that she was my little sister and had that special ability that let me know that maybe things weren't going to turn into a pure disaster.

I almost wished that I could keep her around during the party itself just to ensure I wouldn't have a mild freak out and break down again. But she was going to stay overnight at a friend's so that she wouldn't be subjected to the party -both for her own good and also so she wouldn't be able to tell our mom about it. She was gone by six, and it caused Nic and Gwen -who had stayed overnight- to run around the house out of utter enthusiasm with Lilah. I left them to it and took the stairs two at a time up to my room. I sat on the window seat, my back against one of the walls that encased it so I could face the street and rested my laptop on my legs.

I saw when Alex came down the road but made no point to go back downstairs or to even crack a smile. I did close my laptop and stand up, but only to take a step forward, cross my legs, and sink down onto the hardwood floor. Only about a foot in front of the built-in bench was a floorboard that I had noticed moved and creaked excessively when you stepped on it. It wasn't until I had spent an absentminded moment shifting my weight from one leg to the other while standing on it that I realized it was loose. Almost straight out of Gilmore Girls, I discovered that I could lift the board up and hide whatever I wanted in the space beneath it. I didn't have too much hidden inside at the moment. Only a wooden box filled with random objects connected to good memories, the skeleton keys to doors in the house, and my leather bound notebook which I usually kept hidden under the pillows on the other side of my bed. On top of the box, I settled my computer now so that no one would be able to get to it tonight. Before I slipped the board back into place, I grabbed the key that went to most of the bedrooms, as well as the den and the basement door. My door burst open before the hole in the floor was completely concealed, and Alex stood beaming at me in the threshold.

"Whoa, what's that?!" he asked curiously and animatedly, coming over to me as quickly as he could now that something interesting had caught his attention. He dropped down across from me in hopes of getting a look, but I had already placed the board back where it belonged to make the floor whole once more. "Valerie," he whined, a perfected pout on his face. Calling me by my full name had gotten to be a bad habit of his over the course of only a few days and I smacked him each and every time he let it happen.

This time was no exception and his jutted out lower lip lined right back up with his top lip when the back of my hand connected with his bicep. "Alexander," I mocked his tone, dragging it out even longer than he had. I pushed myself back up to a standing position and looked down at him sitting on my floor with his legs crossed just as mine had been. "Shouldn't you be bringing booze and a stereo and whatever other shit into my house?" I questioned, making my way out into the hall and knowing that he would follow. My first stop was my mom's door just across the hall, so he had time to catch up before he was left all alone.

"I brought a box of beer in. But you weren't there to greet me, and I worried for your wellbeing," he told me facetiously, throwing me a toothy grin when I turned my face back to him. I shook my head in feigned exasperation as he joined me because I knew he had only wanted to get out of helping, then pulled the door to my mother's bedroom shut and locked it with the skeleton key. "Zack and Jack are handling it. It'll be better if I'm not near it until later anyway," he claimed with a shrug and a chuckle as we walked the few feet down the hall to lock Kay's door as well.

I snorted lightly, bringing my hand up to cover my nose as if it took the ugly sound away. I waved it off in another effort to pretend like I hadn't laughed at him, but it was no use. "You are going to be wasted tonight, aren't you?" I wondered almost delightedly, turning on my heel to pace back the couple of feet down the hall until it opened onto the space in front of the stairs.

He pressed his lips together in an attempt to look ashamed but nodded in a beyond proud and almost brazen manner. "Yeah, I'm hoping to be completely trashed and throwing up in your backyard by dawn," he informed me rather matter-of-factly, keeping to my side while we headed down to the living room.

I laughed at him again along with another minute shake of my head. But the carefree mood he had put me in with his joking dissipated as soon as I hit the bottom of the stairs. It wasn't like it appeared the complete opposite of what I had grown used to after living in the house for a month. It was almost exactly the same minus the few breakables that my mother had gotten around to decorating with but with the addition of the stereo and large, ostentatious speakers set up on the far end of the room, behind the love seat. It was enough of a change to remind me that there really was going to be a party here in a few hours and that I was essentially the host of something I rarely ever participated in to begin with. I knew there were probably also several cases of beer and bottles of liquor littering the kitchen's island. I didn't want to venture in there just yet to witness it for myself because the thought of all of it alone made me want to retch. I set my sights on the couch where Jack was currently sitting, turned around on the middle cushion to talk to Murph who had shown up without my knowing. But I only made it halfway across the living room.

Someone had left one of the doors open, and I suspected it was so it would be easier to carry things inside without having to stop to find a way to twist the doorknob with their hands full. This was exactly what the person who had distracted me was doing when he came into the house. "Flyzik!" I yelled, more than likely startling him as well as the six other people I knew to be in my home at the moment. "I didn't know you were coming," I said, almost in defense of my outburst. I skipped forward and stepped down onto the hardwood floor, throwing my arms around him the moment I was close enough. He chuckled and, with the arm that wasn't supporting the weight of another case of beer, returned the hug with as much vigor as I presented.

"Wait, you guys know each other?" Alex asked, still standing near the small entrance to the hallway where I had walked away from him. The others were also looking our way, I noticed when I pulled away from Matt, but not inquisitively like Alex's expression was when I turned to him.

"Do you seriously not remember me coming to practices and shows? I thought we had gotten over that weeks ago and your mind was back on track with who I was," I chided lightly, sarcastically giving him a roll of my eyes paired with an amused smirk. "Of course we know each other. He was the only sane person to talk to a lot of the times I was forced to watch you guys play," I reminded him with Matt backing me up with a nod of agreement. Alex gave us a look of fake indignation and brash disbelief, but I ignored it for the most part as I led Matt into the kitchen so he could put the box he had with the all the ones the others had brought in.

I didn't know him as well as I knew my best friends, but Matt and I had grown to be decent friends when I happened to show up to watch the guys practice. I always liked it when he was there because we always managed to have interesting conversations that kept my attention. I wasn't sure how I could completely forget about what was going on, especially with all the liquor that was set out before me on the counter, but I didn't even notice when the first few people showed up. There were a couple dozen people that I didn't know in my house before I broke from whatever conversation I was having with Matt. I stood up straight from my leaning position against the island and took a good look at the people around me. Someone must have directed them in here to get drinks because not one of them was without a can or red cup in hand as they talked with whoever was available. Music was blasting from the living room, causing a lot of the guests to travel throughout all of the rooms on the first floor.

Alex was standing on the other side of the kitchen, almost out of my line of sight thanks to the beam on the far end of the counter. I pushed off the edge of the island to make my way over to him since I knew he would never be able to hear me from my current position. It took more effort than I thought it would to edge around a counter and shuffle a few feet considering the number of kids in the room seemed to have doubled in the time I had taken to observe everyone. "Who all is here?" I asked him the second I finally managed to get over to him standing in the threshold of the dining room. He apparently hadn't seen me struggling through the pseudo crowd in my kitchen to get to him, because he started before focusing on me giggling next to him.

"Um, mostly friends. I haven't seen anyone I don't know yet," he answered automatically to make it look like he hadn't lost his composure at all. He brought his cup to his lips, tipping it back with a cool demeanor in hopes that taking more time would make his response look natural rather than a coverup for being scared.

I stifled my laughs hurriedly, which wasn't a problem when I really thought about his answer. "So it's mostly people from Dulaney?" I inquired, on the brink of being more gruff than I had intended. I had attended my new school for an entire week, five whole days where I still hadn't built any roots to make myself known to anyone other than my cousin's friends and the friends of a coworker. If it was only friends of Alex's in my house for this party that I hadn't even wanted to throw, then it was nothing but people that I still didn't know. In a matter of seconds, I felt out of place and overthrown in the place that had quickly become home.

"Some of Zack's friends from Towson are here, too. Which I don't doubt means some of your friends as well. Chill out," he countered, hasty to pick up on and try to alter my newly sour mood. He took another drink from his cup and when he lowered it, he was back to the calm boy he'd been when he answered my first question. "And as I recall, there are several people at Dulaney that you would, in fact, want here. Which is exactly why they will be. You can thank me later," he said, smirking at me with a smile that told me he thought he had really done me a favor.

I spent yet another moment thinking about what he had just told me and glancing at the backyard growing darker and darker through the sliding glass door. When it clicked, I gaped up at him in a horror I couldn't quite explain. "What are you talking about? Who's here?" I questioned frantically, turning my head every which way to see if I could find the person or persons he was speaking of. I already had an idea of who it would be, and -as if they had minds of their own- my eyes prayed they wouldn't land on the brown wavy hair I had been obsessing over for nearly three weeks.

"I don't think anyone yet," Alex replied, bringing my attention back to him as if it hadn't ever strayed. "But Dominic's coming. I figured you would want him here, and I was assured he would be," he informed me, causing my stomach to drop to the soles of my feet. He was saying something else, something about James and a couple of other people coming along as well, but my ears were catching only bits and pieces. He didn't notice any of this, just continued to sip his drink and tell me things I couldn't even hear anymore.

Suddenly, I reached out and swiped the red plastic cup from his fingers keeping a loose grip around it. Effectively, it got him to shut up, but it also earned me getting ogled at in sheer shock as I downed the remaining contents of the cup. The smell that hit my nose was indescribable, a mix between sour and bitter that I had never experienced before. The taste was even more horrific, and it burned its way down my throat and into my stomach like a wildfire no one could even imagine containing. He had been right: not all alcohol tasted like beer. It was much worse. "You didn't tell him I wanted him here, did you?" I asked after a series of coughs and sputters and deep breaths to regain my fortitude. My stomach was clenching around the fire in it in anticipation of his answer, making it all that much worse.

He shook his head, his mouth still open in surprise as he stared at me. "Of course I didn't," he told me as if it was asinine for me to even think he would rat me out so carelessly. "I invited him the same way I invited everyone else. Which was mostly by word of mouth. I doubt he's even going to know this is your house until he sees you here," he attempted to comfort me, still seeing the crazed look in my eyes.

I couldn't think of anything else but the fact that the crush that I had tried to hide from myself was going to be in my house on the night it was overrun by drunk teenagers dancing around to the music I surely wouldn't have approved of if I'd had the choice. I was freaking out. I wasn't afraid to admit it; to myself anyway. I couldn't even say why because it wasn't a big deal in the least. I wasn't really a shy person. If the guy I liked was going to be at the party I had agreed to have, then why shouldn't I take advantage of that? This thought somehow was beginning to work its way through my veins, settling my heart rate and lowering me from where I had been standing on the tips of my toes. "Why… do I feel so much better?" I asked, turning to Alex to let him see that I had made a drastic change in the course of maybe sixty seconds.

Alex chuckled at me, making no attempt whatsoever to hide it but lifting his head to stare at something in front of him. "That would be the rum and Coke you just stole from me. Liquid confidence, in other words," he stated like it was his profession to sell drinks with catchy tag lines. He swung his gaze back to me, giving me a smile. "I wouldn't suggest more of it though. Don't want to get overconfident after your first drink," he warned me smartly, and I nodded in a way that would tell him that I wasn't stupid enough to drink anymore. Despite how good I was beginning to feel, I didn't want to have to experience the assault on my other senses again.

I only stood speaking with him for a couple more minutes and I honestly wasn't even all that aware of what we talked about. I walked away in a dazed sort of state, realizing slowly that my mind was addled from just that small amount of alcohol traveling through my system. As I entered the living room, I shook my head in an attempt to rid myself of the haze my thoughts were in and then took precise steps to make my way over to the chair by the couch. There were plenty of people there to talk to, including my own friends, but I couldn't get two words out. I was starting to feel warm and I was convinced my ears were red with the heat I was feeling. It was something I couldn't explain and I was worried that it wouldn't go away. Standing again, I pressed my palms to my cheeks to help cool them down and headed right back to the kitchen, taking a different route. Alex had said that I shouldn't drink anymore but he had also specified that I was calming down thanks to the alcohol. I needed that again because if I still felt warm by the time I saw Dominic, then I was more than likely going to lose it. My sights set on the counter I had left less than ten minutes ago, I moved precariously to the drinks.

I knew nothing about mixing drinks and even through my blurred thoughts, I was positive I didn't want to drink straight liquor. The easiest option was any of the several brands of beer sitting amongst half empty cups, which made me cringe. But I sucked it up without a second thought and aimlessly picked one, popping the top open once I held it against my chest. I brought it to my lips, taking a long pull on it before setting it back down on the counter with a clink and taking a deep breath. Almost instantly, I felt my frayed nerves begin to repair themselves, even through the disgusting taste still on the back of my tongue. I disregarded it with a slight shudder and then lifted the can back up. It was empty in just two more gulps and I was frantically searching for something to rid of the aftertaste that I could no longer ignore. I peered into a few of the cups that had been left behind, not sure of what was in any of them but wanting to make sure that they were clean of any foreign debris that I wouldn't want to drink. After a minute, I found one on the end near the sink. I sniffed at the clear liquid, but deduced that it all just smelled the same to me and deciding that it would do as I paced back to the living room once again with it.

As soon as I came out of the hallway, a new group of people came through the front door, greeted eagerly by everyone else. Amongst this group, I immediately spotted Dominic. He was seemingly hard to miss for me, his blue eyes bright and gazing around the room he was in. They met mine after just a second, and I was sure our grins were a matching set. Walking to meet him halfway was one of the last things I remembered clearly, though I could say that we talked for what felt like hours as we sat against the wall by the stairs. I sipped at the drink I had taken from the kitchen leisurely, still feeling that my face was warm but no longer caring about it. When I finished with that one, I was handed another that I took without question. It was only sometime later that I was brought back to my senses, not only by the strange sensation in my stomach, but also by the feel of Dominic's lips on my own. I was in a state of contentment due to kissing him, but I was ripped from it when I finally pinpointed why my stomach was acting the way it was.

I broke from him and jumped to my feet like a shot, stumbling faster and with more attention than I believed I could muster to the bathroom ten feet away. I almost fell flat on my face getting to the lowered floor, but managed to catch myself in time. I didn't check to see if the room was occupied, just simply pushed my way through the door that was slightly ajar and achieved getting my feet to move me to the right and to the back wall of the room. I dropped to my knees onto the cold tile and I momentarily scolded myself for wearing shorts before I lost the liquid contents of my stomach. My hair hung in my face as I stared into the porcelain that now held everything I had been drinking and whatever I'd had for breakfast this morning, and I tried my best to focus on the bright colors molded onto my blonde locks rather than the colors of my own vomit. But after a moment, the bright ones disappeared from around me and I realized that someone had gathered my hair to keep it away from my face.

Turning my head and pressing my cheek against the toilet, I gazed up at the person who had come in to help me. "Alex," I whined, my voice small and on the verge of tears. "I don't like to drink," I told him, trying to hold down more of the bile that was rising up my throat.

"I know, sweetie. I'm sorry," he murmured, his brown eyes soft as he peered down at me. I was about to give him a small smile to tell him that it wasn't his fault, but I could no longer hold in the alcohol that was trying to escape my stomach as if I had entrapped it there. I quickly turned my face back to the water below me and let it go. I felt Alex transfer my hair to his other hand, using the freed one to soothingly rub my back as I continued to be sick.