Chapters On A Page

"A school lock-in? What the fuck is that?" I questioned, turning to look at Jack since he was the one that had brought up what sounded like a sadistic joke to me. Up until today, I had still been sitting by myself, reading while the people near me whispered things Dominic had spread about me weeks ago or sneaking off to the library to get a head start on my homework. But today, Jack had caught me before I had even made it to the cafeteria doors. There'd been a half-eaten sandwich shoved in his mouth that he tried to talk around as he pulled me down the hall. He had ripped a chunk off when he realized I couldn't understand a thing he was saying and chewed it while telling me that I would be joining them again today, whether I really wanted to or not. Sitting beside him, I was pretty much just pretending that I wasn't there until mention of this lock-in came up.

Jack glanced over at me as if I was insane, asking a question that had the most obvious answer. "Val, you're kidding me," he said, almost begged, when I only matched him stare for stare. "She is not kidding," he mock whispered incredulously, and everyone else chortled, having listened to the whole exchange. He grinned over at me all the same, offering an apology. "It's exactly what it sounds like. The seniors come back to school Friday night and, as soon as everyone's here, whoever's chaperoning locks us in the auditorium until Saturday morning. There's usually movies and shit to keep us busy, but most people fuck around and do whatever they want," he explained, making it sound like the greatest thing ever though it sounded like he had never actually been to one since the lock-ins were usually for the seniors only.

"Why would anyone want to do that?" I asked back seriously, almost appalled. "There are some people that refuse to come to school even when they're actually supposed to. I'm kind of failing to believe that being locked in the school when it isn't required is hugely popular," I continued, wondering if he was just pretending to be excited about it to trick me into going and finding that no one showed up. I had my own reasons for thinking it was a terrible idea to partake in this particular school activity. But they felt too numerous and there were some I couldn't even talk about in current company.

"Aw, don't worry, Val. If it's Dom you're stressed over, we'll all be there to make sure you don't have to deal with his shit," Rian promised, throwing me a toothy smile that was meant to make me trust him on this matter.

This hadn't at all been what I was hinting at, though I did appreciate that he was willing to look out for me. I shook my head, looking down at the fabricated marble of the tabletop. "It's not Dom I'm worried about. I just don't think I'm going to go," I admitted with a noncommittal shrug as I raised my head again.

"Too late!" Jack announced excitedly, slamming both of his hands down on the table as if that made the deal final. "We already put your name on the list with ours," he revealed, obviously beyond proud of himself for this even though he described it as being a group effort.

I wasn't sure if I had ever wanted to hit Jack before. Maybe over something stupid and unimportant when we barely knew each other a few years ago, but I knew I hadn't actually been angry any of those times. Now though, I was certain I could rip out every strand of his messy hair and feel no remorse. I shoved my anger away though, knowing that it wasn't something I should even really be mad over. After a deep breath, I gave another excuse that might talk them out of this whole lock-in idea. "All of us stuck in the auditorium so close to Valentine's Day. Doesn't that just scream bad news and sexual tension?" I wondered, attempting to approach it logically. Right away, I knew it wasn't going to work. Not with this group.

"With some of us, that's the point," Lisa claimed with a sly smile, and then looped her arm through Alex's, who had been silent for most of our lunch period. She turned the smile on him and connected their lips when he gave a meek one in response. She was trying too hard, but I suspected she knew that.

"Yeah, Val. Come and get weird with us," Alex insisted, raising his eyebrows in a half-hearted attempt to appear suggestive.

I joined in with the laughter of the others, but for an entirely different reason. "That just sounds completely wrong, Gaskarth. What is it? An orgy?" I sarcastically asked, earning a round of my own laughs. But I caught his wink when no one else had their focus on him.

The bell rang then, indicating the end of the discussion and therefore meaning that I had lost. I would be going to the lock-in even if they had to bodily drag me out of my house and keep me in the trunk of one of their cars to ensure I wouldn't be able to get away before we got to the school. With a heavy sigh and a roll of my eyes, I stood from the hard plastic seat, slinging my purse over my shoulder. It only took me a second to gather my two textbooks into my arms, but I still managed to fall several paces behind Alex and Lisa. It was like this everyday. The two of them never bothered to wait for me anymore despite the fact the three of us always headed the same way. I wasn't quite sure which one of them may have instituted this though, since they both had their reasons.

I blew passed them when they paused just outside the door of her class, taking on long strides for several feet so I didn't see them kiss their temporary goodbye as they did everyday. Because I was the one asking Alex to stay with Lisa, their shows of affection shouldn't have bothered me the way they did. But it was getting harder to stomach the longer he and I kept up our secret relationship. I was nearly to the closest set of stairs when he caught up with me, but we said nothing to each other as we made our way down them. A silence was all that followed us as we separated to go to our respective locker rooms to change for gym.

I hated gym class. I didn't see the point in it, ever, and having to take it at a different school certainly didn't change my opinion. It had only been two and a half weeks since we had started the class, but most of the students were already ridiculous. The majority of the boys, whether involved in actual sports at the school or not, were highly competitive. Even a handful of the older girls decided half-assed basketball games were the most important contests of their lives. Thankfully the few freshmen and sophomore girls that shared the class seemed too timid or apathetic to actually participate. Shamelessly, I was a part of this pack. And so was Alex. We stuck together, sometimes simply sitting against the wall when we could get away with it and steal the ball of our nearest classmates to pretend to play the game with them when the teacher happened to look our way. Today unfortunately was much of the latter, leaving us unable to talk like I was sure the both of us would have preferred. So it was a little sourly that I trudged back to the locker room when we were finally dismissed.

I had grown the habit of dressing without much haste at all, wanting to have the time to prepare myself for English with two people who surely thought less of me with each passing day. The locker room was desolate by the time I exited a bathroom stall in a smaller room near the back, which was just how I liked it. I skipped casually back to the locker where I had stored my things, and began changing as soon as I got it open. I slipped my shoes off and kicked my shorts back into the dark interior of the tiny locker while groping around for my jeans. After I retrieved them and pulled them on, I removed my shirt to replace it with the one I'd worn to school. But I was still only in my bra when I heard someone stumble to my left. I didn't have time to cover up before they came into my peripheral vision and spoke.

"Val," Alex whispered like he was trying to stay hidden in a room full of people. I spun to face him, but I took the time to scan the area around us just to let him know his caution was useless. "I came to talk to you," he said, stepping closer to me and resting his hands on my hips with a clever smirk. His thumbs were resting on the bare skin just above my jeans and the touch had goosebumps running all over my skin.

I had to clear my throat of the lump that had formed there before I could speak. "How did you get in here?" I questioned, and turned out of his grasp to grab my shirt. Not having something covering my torso -even the idea of having little clothing on- around him had made me a nervous wreck since the day we had had the petty fight in his car. It had taken me a while to figure out why, but I knew now that it was because after just a few heated moments, I had been willing to have sex with him. It felt wrong to me. It made my skin feel like it was crawling away from my muscles and bones.

"No one is actually watching the door. And there's not even anyone up front in the office. It's a horror movie waiting to happen," Alex claimed, yanking me out of my reverie before I could get too terribly far into it.

"Or a bad porn," I pondered facetiously, and I regretted it almost instantly. I tried to just shake it off by beginning to button my shirt.

He chuckled loudly, not noticing the way I was trying my best to keep my eyes off him. "You're funny, Rutherford," he stated almost as if others would be honestly surprised by the news. He pulled me close again by the waist, hoping to distract me from my task. Overhead and echoing throughout the entire tiled room, the bell for sixth period rang. "Are you really not coming to the lock-in on Friday?" he asked, his voice low and somewhat drowned out by the end of the bell.

"I didn't think I had a choice in the matter anymore," I answered, meeting his brown eyes and dropping my arms to my sides. Half of my shirt remained unbuttoned. I didn't let it bother me.

He gave me a light smile. "We're not going to make you go if you really don't want to," he promised, and I knew he was telling me that he would stick up for me against the others if I didn't want to participate and they put up a fight. "But I was kind of hoping you'd come. I think I'd have more fun if you were there," he shrugged, his voice losing volume again to keep this secret between us and away from all of the nonexistent people in the room.

A sigh worked its way up my throat and I wanted to mention how Lisa clearly thought the two of them were going to sneak off and have sex the whole night. But I didn't have the time. I had a class to get to, and girls were going to be coming in any second to change for sixth period gym. So I nodded. "I'll be there then," I affirmed, and I let a smirk take over my lips. I was surprised to find that I wasn't forcing it. "Now get out of here, Gaskarth. Go to band practice," I urged with a giggle.

I shoved him away playfully but he managed to stay close long enough to kiss me. "Will I see you after you get home?" he inquired optimistically while he walked backwards between the rows of lockers. I shook my head and reminded him that I had to work, but he swore he would be at the restaurant to see me. As he sprinted toward the door, he winked at me once more over his shoulder and gave a cheerful wave. I couldn't stop the genuine smile that showed off my teeth as I shook my head and looked down to finish buttoning my shirt.

I slipped into English late, as I knew I would. But I didn't care. I had something to look forward to now… strangely. I was going to have to work myself out of the apprehensive state I had put myself in.

The rest of the week progressed relatively lazily, to my dismay. It wasn't so much that I wanted so badly to get to Friday so the lock-in would only be a few hours away and I could spend time with Alex. It was more like I just wanted the week to be over with so I knew that whatever was going to happen would soon be over with. The rest of the school though was buzzing about coming back Friday night, even those who weren't technically allowed to come. Talk of trying to sneak in was the most popular topic, I had come to notice. It made me snort under my breath each time I passed a group discussing it. But I also considered telling them that if any one of them could find a way to do it, they were welcome to go in my place. Obviously, I was still dreading the event to some extent.

When six o'clock on Friday rolled around at last though, it felt like I wasn't even allowed to be concerned about any of the possibilities of the night. My mind wasn't filled with even moderately bad thoughts regarding the night ahead of me. Since my license was still a thing of the future and because I had the most amazing friends anyone could ever ask for, Nic was going to drive me back to the school even though I could walk. She had shown up at my house with an excuse that since the sun would be down, it would be freezing outside apparently rendering me unable to walk the two miles. Disregarding any argument I may or may not have had, she had thrown herself on the couch to wait until I was ready to leave and that's where the two of us sat now, watching some B horror movie to pass the time. I was okay with the silence that had settled over the two of us as we sat there. It meant that things were beginning to get back on the right track to being normal between us. I was more than willing to take it, even if it was the only progress made for months.

"So uh…" she stammered after we had been sitting there for a considerable amount of time. She had to clear her throat, and I wasn't sure if it was from the lack of speaking since she had arrived or to stall whatever she was going to say next. "What's been going on between you and Alex?" she questioned, and I could swear she sounded as if she was trying her hardest not to throw up when the words left her mouth.

My eyes grew wide and I immediately pointed my gaze at the clock above the television to note what time it was. This definitely needed to be documented, somewhere, some time. Even when we made it passed the phase we were in as a result of my lie, I never would have expected that she or Murph would ever feel the need to ask me about whatever was happening between Alex and I. But I quickly overcame the amazement that came from her question, knowing that if I didn't answer it soon that she would insist we forget about it. "Um… same old, pretty much?" I replied, unsure if this was what she wanted to hear. "We've just been hanging out. I'm still not sure how to approach moving further, I guess. I have a hard time considering that he should break up with Lisa," I admitted, and it was the first time I had ever told anyone this. I could easily say that I felt he should stay with her for now, but I hadn't said that I couldn't find a reason for this simply because I couldn't even think about it aloud.

Nic nodded purposefully, obviously turning something over in her head. I was afraid she was going to yell at me. I knew that she and Murph practically shared a brain on this subject. I knew that they didn't accept at all that he was cheating on his girlfriend, just like I shouldn't. But the next words out of her mouth were, "How did this all start anyway?"

I took a sharp intake of breath, utterly confused as to who the person sitting next to me was. She had the same red hair as my best friend, the same bright eyes and false intimidating look. But I didn't think that she would ever have interest in how I had started some secret relationship that she didn't approve of. I remembered though that she was my best friend. She would always be there for me and she would always want to know the details of what made me happy and what made me sad. And so I told her. I told her that it had just been an accident, something I had blamed on grief, but how I had felt some spark in me that I couldn't extinguish. How Dominic had been able to burn a little brighter for me for a while, but how nothing was really going to match what I felt for Alex right now since I had let myself go with the flow of those feelings. I was out of breath by the time I was finished, feeling somehow exhilarated because I had been able to get all of this out there for the first time.

She chewed it over for a moment that I could swear was stretching off into forever. I was still thrilled that it was no longer weighing me down, breaking my back with all the things I had never said, but her silence would always make me freak out at least a little bit. "In this situation, I would really love to hate to say it. I want to be a bitch. But… I'm happy for you, Val. I just really hope that he does not break your heart, and I really hope that it doesn't come as a result of your insistence of him continuing his relationship," she said slowly, a frown creeping onto her face to let me know she was serious.

I couldn't hold myself back despite the grim ending. I threw my arms around her and squeezed her in a hard hug. It was encouraging when she chortled, wrapping her own arms around my torso to return the embrace. "Thank you, Nic. Seriously," I whispered when I had calmed down, pulling away from her only enough to bump my forehead gently against hers.

Laughing lightly again, she pushed herself up, waving her hands around. "It's no big deal, my dear. Now are you ready? Because I do believe it's time to get you to what I'm just going to lovingly refer as this school-sponsored kegger."