Chapters On A Page

For the second time already this year, my nostrils were filled with the scent of bleach, this time as the fumes wafted through the air from Alex's hair while he leaned back into my lap. However, the change his hair had just gone through was nowhere near as drastic as Murph's had been back in January, which I was thankful for. I had spent the majority of the morning lounging around my kitchen with both Murph and Gwen while Alex fidgeted in one of the high stools from around the counter, letting Nic cut and color his hair under the watchful eye of my mother. Trix had been hovering around simply to make sure that my best friend was doing everything right and to the book since she was going to be taking the exams for her cosmetology license soon. But my mom had hurried from the room, leaving the five of us to ourselves, after only ten minutes with a mumbled excuse I couldn't hear. Without her mentor inspecting her work intently over her shoulder, Nic didn't restrain herself from tugging on Alex's hair every once in a while and pushing his head around in light abuse. I knew that some of the good-natured malice she was showing was left over from the days when she had believed he wasn't good enough for me. But most of it was surely to remind him that she was keeping an eye on him until he passed whatever test she had set in her head. She was just being protective over me. Thankfully, he had taken it all in jest, chuckling and jokingly chiding her.

That had been hours ago though and he was now safely back in my arms as we all sat in my backyard, occupying a patch of grass in the wide and sunny expanse. I was more than delighted to be basking in the hot sunlight and sitting with these four people that I was closest to on this early April afternoon. We were seated in a poor excuse for a semicircle and talking animatedly about the newest Batman movie since Alex and I had finally watched it just the night before. Admittedly, I was having a little trouble keeping my mind from wandering back to the memory of him and I curled up together in his bed, my legs tangled with his and my hand in his as we sat propped up by his pillows with Spot worming his way further in between us every few minutes. But I could hear Murph sarcastically berating Alex for having not seen the movie until now through my daydream and it put an instant smile on my face.

Murph was still on the fence about my relationship, having not come around as easily as Nic had because he was a guy and he was ever suspicious, yet no longer refusing to accept that I loved Alex. But he was as friendly with my boyfriend as he had been before he'd found out the truth of my feelings, just as he had after our first argument about the possibility. I was thrilled that he was no longer playing the overprotective older brother any time Alex joined us, especially since he wasn't even two months older than me. His civility was really all I could ask for at this point, but I was still unrelentingly hoping the day would come that he would come to terms completely with who I was dating because I didn't want him harboring a grudge for too long. For right now, joking around with Alex was good enough for me.

Alex pushed himself up slightly on one hand to point a glare at the towheaded Murph. "Hey man," he exclaimed in contempt, "I had a very busy summer. I was only going where this girl was going, and I heard no mention of Batman." His retaliation ended in chuckles and him falling back in to me when he could no longer take the screaming in his smooth abdomen that was not used to the exertion. He was refusing to come off seeming like a bad nerd even if it was all joking and sarcastic. It made me smirk, but what he had said had sent the butterflies in my stomach to a steady, restless fluttering. This was the first time he was making it known beyond any doubt that he had been certain of whatever was between us from the very beginning.

I giggled and doubled over so that my face was hovering over his, only leaving our eyes at opposite ends. "I was absolutely terrible for not bringing it up, wasn't I? And frankly, a shameful example of a Batman fan," I joked, putting on a more seriously concerned face at this realization than I had with the former. I knew that it would bring on the pout that I had always loved so much, and he certainly didn't disappointment me. Once I had gotten my fill of the subtle lines between his eyebrows and his frowning lips, I leaned down the rest of the way to kiss his sullenness away. He was grinning up at me again when I broke from him to straighten up once more. He took my hand then, bending it at the wrist and resting his elbow in the grass as our fingers interlocked.

"Okay, okay. But what about all of the time since then?" Murph questioned, breaking the moment in which Alex and I had forgotten that we weren't completely alone out here in the yard. "I'm dying to hear why you couldn't watch it after it came out on DVD," he continued, an evil smirk playing on his lips for God only knew what reason. In excitement, he shoved his fingers through his bleached hair, making it stick up in places and hang messily over his forehead in others. It was a semblance of how it used to be, but nothing was going to be as good as the original. He had a giddy expression taking over his face, and I realized that his point was simply to out-nerd Alex.

Apparently, Nic had become aware of this at the exact moment that I had. "Oh, come on, Murphy!" she yelled in exaggerated irritation and disgust, shoving him to the side so that he landed on his arm in the grass, laughing. "Stop trying to prove that you're the ultimate dungeon master over him and put your dork boner away. We've all seen the new Batman now! Let's just move on from it," she suggested in earnest, throwing her hands up in the air to showcase both her seriousness and the humor behind her statement. When Murph lifted himself from the ground, she promptly knocked him over again.

A chorus of laughs started up from all five of us at both Nic's exclamation and Murph having to peel himself from the short blades of grass once again. I was in complete agreement with her but I still had my two cents to throw into the mix. "Guys, we all know that if this was a competition, I would win. Clearly. I'm the only one that's ever actually even played Dungeons and Dragons," I announced, fighting off a fit of laughter when I realized just how embarrassing this confession actually was. I could feel my cheeks heating up with a blush fueled entirely by humiliation, all because there was only one person here who hadn't been around when I had been dating Andrew and therefore didn't previously know what I had just blurted out. It really wasn't as bad as I was making it out to be in my head, but I still ducked my head to hide myself from the others. But staring up at me from where I had forgotten he was lying was Alex.

His teeth were all showing thanks to his large smile, and I expected the inevitable snickers and the ridiculing to start at any second. But I should have known by now that he was a surprise each and every time. "Please tell me that you're going to be taking me to play, too," he begged when my eyes met his.

I let my chortles escape of their own freewill then, letting the uncalled for mortification I had been feeling creeping on ever so slowly just melt away. Before I got the chance to answer him though, Gwen spoke up from the spot where she had been lying to allow the sun to hit her face. She had had her eyes closed and I had been convinced for some time that she was asleep. "Val hasn't played since she broke up with Andrew. Probably for the best, really," she was stating absentmindedly, laying a hand over her eyes to block out the sun seeping through her lids and surely causing her to see red. "It's kind of monotonous after a while. But you can come with me sometime, if you want," she offered to Alex, finally to the point that had gotten her to speak up after being quiet for the majority of the group conversation.

Slowly, I could feel my mouth dropping open to gape at her even if she couldn't see it. With a quick glance from the corners of my eyes, I could see that my other two friends were staring at Gwen in much the same fashion. Alex was the only one unaffected by her accidental admission and he was looking up at me with confusion in his dark eyes and a plead to let him into the loop that he could clearly see had formed. I regained my composure as quickly as I could and cleared my throat to call, "Gwen?" This had the result that I had intended it to, causing her to drop her hand from her eyes and push herself up on both hands to look at me expectantly. "Are you still playing D and D?" I inquired unbelievingly with an almost nervous laugh. The thought was just so absurd to me.

A knowing smirk spread leisurely across her pink lips hidden by a purple shade of lipstick. "Not still," she answered, and let it sit there until Murph waved his hand to tell her to go on. She laughed lightly. "Brent Whatshisname ran into me like a year ago at the fabric store. He asked me if I could make him -get this- a cape. I agreed, and when I finished it, he wanted me to bring it to the comic book shop where they play… In hindsight, I think this was only to prove that he actually knew a girl to whoever was going to be there. But Spencer and Charlie were there -Andrew's old nerd gang, remember?" she wondered, addressing us for the first time to make sure we knew who she was talking about, but mostly Alex. "They play with Brent and convinced me to stay for a while, but I got sucked in," she finished, letting out a deep breath that almost sounded frustrated and pained. "I'm in deep, guys."

Murph was the first one to react after several moments of silence on our part. "What?!" he screeched, bursting out in hysteric laughter.

"You're lying!" Nic accused, saying what we were all really thinking as we all sat there in the sun staring at her.

"I am not!" Gwen shot back defiantly, pushing herself off her hands at last and looking all business with a straight spine. "Let's go down there right now. They'll be there because I don't think they actually ever leave," she demanded, jumping to her feet. This was non-negotiable to her now.

The others sprung up, ready to follow through, including Alex who then offered his hand to help me up. His familiar fingers wrapped around mine securely and he tugged me to my feet, letting his arm snake around my waist as soon as I was balanced. Nic and Murph were already closing in on the porch as they followed Gwen who was marching with determination around the corner of the house to get to whoever's car we were going to take. Alex and I were lollygagging, leaning into each other and giggling over nothing. The others were already waiting for us in Nic's silver Contour, hanging out the windows and yelling to us to hurry the hell up, when we made a last minute decision.

"We'll meet you guys there," Alex called to them as we stood just inside the street, knowing they'd be able to hear him across its width. He was rewarded with boos of disappointment from my best friends.

"I still need driving practice," I whined in an effort to remind them. "We'll be there soon," I promised, and I blew them a kiss with the hand that wasn't currently resting on Alex's hip furthest away from me.

Murph wrinkled his nose and then turned to the girls. "She's lying! They're gonna have sex!" he claimed like I had a secret code that he had triumphantly -yet regrettably- figured out.

Nic, behind the steering wheel, leaned far over Gwen in the passenger seat to ensure that we saw the disgusted face she was pulling. "Ew! The breeders are going to breed!" she shrieked. "I definitely need to get out of here before that happens!" Before peeling out of her parking spot and speeding off down my street, she made me promise that we would be no more than an hour behind them with such a stern look that I couldn't even jokingly object.

I led Alex through the gate and up the brick walkway to the front porch, laughing at the absurdity of Murph's accusation and Nic's overreaction. That wasn't a discussion we had yet had and I wasn't going to rush into it not knowing what to say if he wasn't pressing it. At least we could get a sufficient chuckle out of it thanks to my friends. Without having to worry about it, we made a quick trip into the house to grab his keys and snatch up my purse from where I had left it on the leather couch. We were headed back out to his car in just a moment, me digging around in my purse for my wallet to make certain my permit was still tucked away within it. I rarely ever had cause to remove it, but it was still a shock to me that I even had it in the first place. Even after all the hours spent in the driver's seat accompanied by my mother or father or sometimes even Sam during those weeks I hadn't been speaking to Alex, it was still like an illusion that I had managed to somehow take this step in getting my license.

I shut the driver's side door as soon as I was comfortable in the seat and was once again pawing through my bag -this time for my sunglasses- when Alex slid into the car. He was leaning over the center console to kiss me, but was caught off guard when I exclaimed, "Shit!" I looked over at him just in time to see one of his thick eyebrows raise and disappear behind the hair sweeping across his forehead. "I forgot my cigarettes," I said, filling him in on my dilemma.

In a show of mock chagrin, he threw his head back with his mouth open. "I wish you would give those things up. Besides, don't you think you're doing enough damage to your health hanging out with Gabi Manalis?" he questioned sarcastically.

I rolled my eyes at him, but I knew he was just being facetious. "Oh, come on. She's not nearly as bad as everyone thinks she is. She's actually very…" I trailed off, though I had been about to say sweet. But I was brought up short, remembering how angry she had been with me when I had revealed I was dating Alex. "A little over sensitive," I amended aloud with a chortle I couldn't hold back. Gabi had accepted my apology when I had given it after I had made up with Alex, but she was still a little distant and definitely cold towards me. I suppose that it didn't help that we barely had the chance to talk now that I was sitting with the others at lunch again. I would find a way to fix it before graduation. I was determined. "I'll be back in just a minute," I vowed to Alex, going back to our original topic, and pecked him on the lips before jumping back out of his car.

I sprinted across the road and up the driveway, heading for the door to the kitchen in the garage because I knew it was unlocked and since my cigarette case was on the back porch. As I approached the door, slowing down so I didn't have to listen to the slapping of my flip-flops on concrete echo off the walls, I realized it was cracked open. I had taken notice when my friends and I had left the backyard that Sam's car was in the driveway, and it still was. I figured he had failed to latch the door, and this was confirmed as I took the one and only step up before entering the house. Hearing his voice had me freezing in my tracks though, and I only moved again when Trix's voice chimed in. And this was only so I could press my ear a little closer to the crack without pushing it open any more. The two of them were yelling, yet were trying to keep it down so as not to alert anyone to their argument. It was so strange to hear Sam shouting. He was usually so gentle and pleasant. I just hadn't thought he had it in him. I was so caught off guard that I hadn't actually heard any of the words spoken while I'd been eavesdropping.

"...you want to keep it," my mother's voice rang in my ears the moment I actually began paying attention. She sounded desperate, pleading, wanting her point to be taken into consideration and accepted. "But we're in our forties, Sam! Besides, you've never had to raise a child before. ...And you've never had to feel the devastation and inner chaos that comes with losing one," she added, clearly almost hesitant to throw it out there to help her win whatever battle this was. I could hear the catch in her voice, the choking that preceded a sobbing no one knew the cure to. She somehow kept it together though. If she was crying after bringing up Emma, she was doing so silently and with a dignity I had only ever known my mother to have.

It took thinking about my sister to register what was being discussed in the kitchen only mere feet from me at this very moment. I took a sharp intake of air as it ran through my mind what was surely a hundred times in less than a second. I was almost afraid that Trix and Sam would hear me and I would have to lie my ass off about what I had or hadn't heard. But the worry disappeared almost instantly.

Sam was countering what my mom had said, letting his side be known. "The chances of that happening again… I find it impossible. And I'm ready, Michele. You may not think I am because I've never been married. But I know I can handle it. I'm praying that you decide to go through with this because I would be heartbroken if you didn't and it would ruin me if you just gave up. I want to do this and I want to marry you," he stated boldly, his yell somehow morphing into a confident boom. If he wasn't grinning at least a little bit at his impromptu proposal, I'd be surprised.

Trix was silent for what felt like hours, stretching on and on. Then she was screaming again. "No! Now get out of my house!" she demanded, and I imagined her waving her hand erratically toward the door. "Get! Get out! Now!" This was promptly followed by what I knew were Sam's footsteps heading morosely for the door that I was standing on the other side of.

I found myself full out running for the side door, surely almost breaking my ankle as I hopped off the step. As quickly yet as silently as I could, I shut the door behind me before continuing on to the backyard. I was still in a dazzled sort of state, barely paying attention. But when I realized where I was shuffling, I supposed it couldn't hurt to actually do what I was holding us up for. To guarantee that I would go unseen, I ended up crawling over the railing and onto the porch to retrieve my cigarettes from the table by the hammock. Getting back over proved to be trickier and I ended up falling to the ground on my back, getting the wind knocked out of me and a grass stain on my t-shirt. I attempted to recover swiftly and then immediately ran, huffing and puffing, back to Alex's car, taking just enough time to glance to my left at the driveway and see that Sam had definitely left as Trix had wanted. When I was finally back in the driver's seat, I was sure that I was really dead.

"Whoa, Valerie, what's going on?" Alex asked, and the concern that ran through his voice reminded me that I was still very much alive. When he noticed that I was having trouble catching my breath but still trying to answer him, he took my hand in his. The fingertips of his free hand began drawing invisible patterns on my skin and he urged me to calm down, to take my time.

When the exertion from running while obviously out of shape with newly developed smoker's lungs finally faded, I found myself leaning into him as he continued to soothe me. The center console was digging painfully into my side. But he was still holding my hand, so I refused to care or move. I took several deep breaths to keep my cool and swallowed hard once or twice when I found it tough to comprehend what I was about to say. But eventually it just came out as a small squeak. "My mom is pregnant."