Chapters On A Page

I had yet to talk to Trix, about anything let alone her pregnancy. I was trying to work up the nerve to do so, and it proved to be rather difficult. It had only been a day since I had determined that I needed to do it sooner rather than later though, and I had shamefully been more concerned about my impending date. I had been thrilled that Alex wanted to take me out, to get our first date underway. I had been so surprised and excited in that moment that I had completely forgotten that I wasn't exactly a date person. Then again, maybe that wasn't the total truth. I guess I had never actually been on a real date before, because no one had ever taken me on one. I really couldn't count -or maybe I just refused to- anything I had ever done with Andrew outside of our houses because one of our parents was never far behind to drop us off or pick us up, and Dominic had clearly never cared enough to put that kind of effort in to our relationship. There hadn't even been one-offs in between my only two serious boyfriends before now, though that was probably because I had all but sworn off boys after my breakup with Andrew. So I was finding that my nerves were a frayed mess when I thought about going out with Alex tonight.

I was sitting on the edge of my bed, jittering and fidgeting nervously as I stared out the window that faced the street in front of our house. I couldn't get my leg to stop bouncing, even when I pulled both of them up to fold underneath me. It wasn't until I got sick of my view basically vibrating in front of me that I propelled myself from my seat, using the mattress as a springboard. I was at a lose for what to do while I waited for Alex to pick me up since I had already done my hair and my makeup, so I simply began pacing. My footsteps seemed to ring loudly in my ears as I wore a hole into the hardwood beneath the flats I had slipped into an hour ago. The only thought running through my mind was wishing that I could stop being so ridiculous about this.

Thankfully -or maybe regretfully- there was a knock on the front door downstairs. I sprinted back over to the window, almost scrabbling over the bed, to look down over the driveway to confirm that it was my boyfriend at the door. My mother or one of my younger sisters was surely already on the task of letting him in, but I was still scurrying across my room to get to the door, snatching up my purse off the rolling chair in front of the desk on my way. I skipped down the stairs as quickly as I could without taking them two at a time, only just remembering that I shouldn't appear so eager when I was halfway down after the landing. I descended the last few stairs slowly, with as much elegance as I could muster -though I knew that wasn't much. Trix was sitting on the far end of the couch, in sweatpants and a t-shirt, her hair in a sloppy bun. She didn't even look up at me though, with the noise I had made, there was no mistaking that I had just entered the room. Kaylee was crossing the room from where she had just opened the door, passing me on the bottom step so she could get to her room.

Alex was patiently waiting just inside the front door, looking giddy with a grin on his face and his arms straight at his sides with his hands stuffed deep in his pockets. I found myself calming down considerably as I made my way over to him, my own smile tugging at my lips. He greeted me by wrapping his arms around me as soon as I was in front of him and pulling me close. Leaning my head comfortably against his chest as we embraced, I could hear the racing beat of his heart through his baby blue polo and his skin and muscle and bone. "I missed you," he purred into my hair, loud enough so it would meet only my ears.

We had seen each other at school just a few hours ago, but I knew exactly what he meant. Sometimes it felt like too much time passed between getting to see each other. I wondered if that's how love was supposed to make you feel or if it was just me being a seventeen-year-old infatuated with her first love. I nodded my head while I still rested against his chest. "I missed you, too," I muttered, knowing he could hear me and make the words out. I pulled away from him reluctantly, holding up one finger to let him know we could leave in just a minute as I stepped backwards. I spun on my heel then, letting the smooth wood carry me over to the back of the couch where Trix lounged. I stepped up onto the few inches of carpet behind it and leaned forward until she could see me. "Alex and I are going to get going. I'll be back by midnight," I promised, though I wasn't sure when I'd be back. Shooting for my curfew was the smartest choice though. She only nodded in acknowledgement, her eyes still locked on the television screen, but I leaned in further to leave a kiss on her cheek anyway. I almost reached out to place my hand on her belly, to promise my little brother or sister that I hadn't forgotten about him or her. But I kept myself from doing so, knowing better, and straightened up to join Alex again.

The two of us headed out to his car where it was parked across the street and he held the passenger side door open for me when we reached it. Comfortable in my seat with a shy smile on my face, I tucked my hair behind both ears as I waited for Alex to get in. He hopped in a second later but hesitated a moment before he turned the car on. He turned to me, smiling, almost embarrassed. "Please don't judge me for the song that's going to play when the stereo comes on," he beseeched with a nervous chuckle. I couldn't exactly say I wouldn't since I was already giggling lightly at his behavior, but I still nodded. He shot me a skeptical look but stuck the key in the ignition and turned it all the same. After a split second, in addition to the sound of the engine coming to life, the opening drumbeats of Blink-182's First Date filled the car.

I had implied that I wouldn't do it, but it was hard to control. I burst out laughing. Luckily, he took no offense to this because he knew just how humorous it was, and began laughing with me. I leaned over the center console, letting the hard plastic dig into my ribs as I rested against it, and caught the corner of his lips with my own. Still chortling, he turned into my kiss. And with both of our eyes fluttering shut, I could feel the nervousness about going on our first date as a couple slip away from each of us as easily as if it had never been there in the first place. When we broke apart after a moment and pulled away from my house at last, I spun the volume dial on the stereo to turn the song up and we sang along, him sounding much, much better than myself. When it ended and the next song began pouring from the speakers, I switched it back so we could do it all over again.

I had no idea where he was taking me, but then again I had told him to surprise me with whatever he was planning. The air of secrecy to it, in all honesty, left me in a state of excitement that I somehow knew would have been impossible to feel if I had known the details. It just hinted at so much more romance than the alternative. Our destination wasn't easily revealed right from the start of our ride, but it was gradually unraveling in my head as we traveled the familiar streets we traversed nearly everyday of our lives. It seemed like we passed through more neighborhoods than it was possible to count, but the vast majority of the drive was on the highway that connected all of the cities and towns of Maryland. Because of this, where our date was going to be wasn't a dead giveaway, but I was full of speculation. By the time we pulled up in the parking lot of the miniature golf course, I was smiling like a fool.

"Mini golf?" I questioned, almost amused, turning in my seat to look at him as I slipped my seatbelt off. I let it snap back into place behind me while I waited for his answer with my smile still firmly in place.

"You hate it," he guessed, not even looking over at me to see what my mood actually was, his voice filled with dread caused by thinking he had screwed up. "I should have just taken you to dinner, right?" he questioned, allowing his head to fall back against the headrest and slowly facing me at last.

Before he could see the grin that seemed to be a permanent fixture of my expression for the night, I practically leaped toward him, pulling my legs up onto my seat to sit up on my knees and reach over to press my lips to his. My palms rested on either side of his face to keep him close to me but, once his fingers found my hips and gripped tightly, I let my arms snake around his neck. My own fingers ran through his light hair, curling into the locks. My face hovered above his as our lips molded to fit perfectly together over and over and our tongues found each other's. My breathing was labored quickly, and I knew my cheeks were red with a blush from the heat surging through me. Kissing him so suddenly had been my polite and cute way of telling him to shut up, to not worry about it. But it had gotten out of hand as swiftly as it had come, and yet I had trouble caring. He would take it as me divulging just how happy I was and that was certainly something I could live with.

In the end, it was Alex that pulled away first, breathy and flushed, but with a pleased look on his face. One of his hands had moved up to my neck, his long fingers digging into my skin ever so slightly to press me close to him and deepen our kiss. But now that hand slipped from my neck and he used his index finger to push my hair back from where it was falling in my face and tuck it behind my ear. "Ready to get beat by the mini golf master?" he inquired in a whisper, making it sound much more intimate than it really was.

It had the effect on me I knew he had been aiming for. I laughed loudly, sitting back down with my legs curled under me. "Well, I'd be totally prepared for that… if there was any chance that it was going to happen," I retorted playfully. I gave him my best intimidating look before pecking him on the lips one last time and then pushing my way out of the car.

He joined me in a matter of seconds, running towards me and scooping me up off the ground to spin me around once. All to make me giggle. When he set me back on my feet, he took my hand, lacing our fingers together instantly, and started toward the tiny building at the front of the parking lot. I swung our hands between us as we walked, looking around at all of the other cars filling up the parking lot. One caught my eye, the chipped maroon paint job shining dully in the sun. It was familiar but I couldn't place where I knew it from in the few seconds my eyes were locked on it. And before I could take the time to go through my mental rolodex of all the cars I knew, Alex was speaking, asking me the last time I had actually played miniature golf. My attention was back on him then and I forgot all about the crappy Mercury Sable crookedly parked between the lines.

The sun was beginning to set on the horizon by the time we headed to the first hole. The course was crawling with people -the majority of them our classmates from Dulaney or kids from Towson- taking up their Friday night with something more tame than a party. It wasn't hard to pretend that they weren't there -though it should have been- because it was too easy to get caught up in each other. I joked and made fun of him for the color he had chosen for his ball -blue- and he threatened me with saying all the words that made me cringe melodramatically if I continued. By the third hole, when the bright lights overhead shot on to illuminate every corner of the course, I was pretending to be terrible at the game, swinging haphazardly and hitting the ball hard enough to knock it out of bounds all so Alex would offer to put his arms around me to guide me. It was cliche and it was foolish of me to act like I didn't know how to play, especially when he knew I could, but it was perfect. It was ridiculous to think that I had been worried this would all go horribly wrong just a couple of hours ago. Neither of us could have stopped smiling at each other even if we had wanted to.

It had been dark outside of the spotlights that shone down on us for a while and I had lost track of which hole we were on. The line for each seemed to get longer every time we moved on and we held everyone behind us up while we screwed around. I was currently standing in the bushes that ran parallel to the astroturf adorned with the head of a creepy clown with its mouth wide open, tongue rolling out to act as a ramp, looking for my golf ball. The moment I had hit it and watched it roll beneath the foliage, I had regretted choosing a green one. Alex was just finishing up, putting easily to get his ball to roll into the hole and then reaching into his back pocket for the scorecard while chuckling under his breath and shaking his head at me. I bent down, mostly trying to avoid the glares the group of preteen girls waiting to play this hole was shooting me but, of course, also to look more closely for my ball. I pushed aside a few low-hanging branches with my club and got lucky.

I snatched the dimpled ball from the dry dirt and then sprung back up, holding it in the air high above my head. "I found it!" I cried victoriously to Alex, backing out of the shrubbery so I could join him and we could move on. I clearly wasn't watching though and I ended up bumping into someone. My apology was already rolling off my tongue before I even turned around, but the words faded into nothing when I was facing the person and they had turned as well. I automatically felt a knot in my stomach and it was as if my tongue was glued to the roof of my mouth. The car in the parking lot had been familiar for a reason. It was Dominic's.

An evil and gratified smile spread slowly across his face and I was trying hard to remember exactly how to walk so that I could get back to Alex and get out of here. Before I could though, Alex was at my side, putting his arm around me, and Dominic's expression was turning into one of mock hurt. "So you two are done pretending like nothing is going on between you, eh?" he inquired, but he obviously wasn't looking for an answer.

Alex tugged gently on my shoulder where his hand was resting, trying to get me to go in the other direction with him. "Come on, Valerie. I think we've played enough," he insisted, and just by the tone of his voice, I could tell he was rolling his eyes.

But Dom had begun talking again over the end of Alex's statement. "You know, I always knew. But I always had a hope that I was wrong. I mean, didn't our moment in the weight room hold any meaning for you?" he continued, his words coming out so smoothly that I had to wonder if he had thought of doing this ever since the night of the lock-in. I wouldn't have been surprised if he had been perfecting something similar since even before that. He may not have cared about me the way I had thought for months, but he wanted to see my relationship with Alex fall into turmoil, whether I thought it was from jealousy or not.

I had frozen at the query, somehow managing to stand even more still than I had been a moment before when I had first seen him. I had completely forgotten about what had happened in the weight room that night after Lisa had stormed off with Alex chasing after her at my demand. So much had happened after that on just that night alone, and even more in the weeks since. But now I could recall it all. Waking up and thinking it was Alex's arm wrapped around me. Accepting a kiss because of this same reason only to open my eyes and find that Dominic was the one shoving his tongue down my throat. And the biggest problem of all, him going too far and trying to get me undressed even after all of my protesting. Now, I was just pissed. I shrugged out from under Alex's arm and took his hand in my own when it dropped back down to his side. "You're right, 'Lex. We should get going," I replied to him, pretending like Dominic had never spoken, like he wasn't even there.

I tried to pull him away just as he had done with me. And just like with me, he wasn't moving. I looked up into his eyes, finding them clouded over with anger while his jaw stayed firmly set. The anxiety that I had felt all day was gradually working its way back into my system. "What's he talking about, Val?" he asked, finally looking at me after what felt like entirely too long. Neither of us were paying him any mind at this point, but Dominic announced his departure from us then, probably figuring he had done all the damage he needed.

The strong urge to kick myself presented itself in my mind. I couldn't believe I hadn't told Alex about what had happened that night, but I also hadn't really told myself. I had blocked it out, letting the good that had come of the stupid lock-in bury it deep within my subconscious. I was regretting allowing myself to forget about it now because now Dominic had gotten to use it against me when he never should have been able to have any ammo left in his arsenal for me. "It's nothing. He's being stupid," I told Alex, swiftly stepping in front of him and placing my hand on his chest. I just wanted him to understand that it wasn't anything he should worry about. In only a second though, my hand was hanging in midair. He was walking away from me, dropping the short golf club and his golf ball in the middle of the course as he went. I sprinted after him, hindered by my flats trying their best to slide off my feet.

"Alex, nothing happened with Dominic!" I called after him. We were already in the parking lot, him a considerable distance in front of me since I had stopped to take my shoes off. When he didn't stop at my shout, I took the ballet flat in my right hand and hurled it at him. It missed its target but only by a few inches, landing just where he was about to place his next step. His pause to make sure he didn't step on it and to bend to pick it up bought me enough time to run up to him in my bare feet and block his way. Before he could even think about pushing to get around me and back to his car to drive off, I was blurting out everything, informing him of everything that I hadn't thought to before, clearing up the entire mess before he refused to speak to me ever again. I apologized, not only for waiting until now because it had completely flown my memory but also for Dominic making him believe that there was still something between him and I, in the middle of a miniature golf course no less.

It was plain to see that Alex was still angry, but it was also clear that it was for a different reason now. He took my hand, just to calm himself down, craning his neck to look behind him back at the course as he tried to scan the area for my ex. "I'm going to kill him," he fumed almost inaudibly. I was sure he didn't want me to hear it.

"Just forget about it," I begged, tugging on his hand once again to bring his attention back to me.

He swung his gaze back to me, appalled. "Valerie, he tried to rape you!" he exclaimed, trying his best to keep his voice down so he didn't catch the attention of any of the people walking close by.

I swallowed hard and felt the distress creep onto my face. "He was drunk," I reminded him meekly.

Alex chuckled sarcastically. "That's not even close to an excuse," he said defiantly, and I couldn't argue with him. But when he tried again to look for Dominic so he would have a direct path to go end him, I pulled him back again.

"I just want to forget about it again, Alex. We always knew he was a dick. I stopped him before he could do any real damage. Now I just want to push it back into the dark recesses of my mind, and then finish our date. Please," I begged, my green eyes wide and surely shining with tears I was going to fight myself not to shed if I had to as I looked into his brown ones.

Leisurely, a soft smile found its way to his lips and he pulled me into him, locking his arms tight around me and placing multiple kisses atop my head. "Are you hungry? I thought that we could just get burgers somewhere. But now that this has been ruined, I'm thinking someplace fancy," he declared, letting me pull away marginally to raise his eyebrows to make this plan sound unbeatable.

I giggled softly. But I knew that after all of that, my stomach wasn't up for much food and I told him as much. "But I think I could handle some ice cream. If you're up for that, that is," I suggested, smirking at him. Once again tonight, he scooped me up off the ground, kissing me passionately as he carried me back to his car.