Have Faith in Me

"Brookelle?" He asked. I smiled. Here was the man who's helped me for years. The one person who understood me. The only one who has cared. In ways I loved him and I knew he loved me. he was my bestfriend growing up. He was like an older brother. But had left me. He had given up and left.
"Jace." I breathed taking a drag. Menthol. Newport. I knew my cigarrettes. He nodded as I exhaled. He frowned when I shivered. He then noticed I was in pajama shorts without shoes. He shimmied out of his jacket and put it around my shoulders. I put the cigarette in my mouth as I slipped my arms through and snuggled into it. I inhaled through my nose taking in his cologne. Same as it had always been. Old spice. He pulled me close and for once I didn't flinch. Why should I flinch with him? He's an old friend. Someone I can trust. Right? If I could really trust him then why had he left for me to fend for myself. He knew I needed his help. He left without a word. I pulled away from his embrace and stared into his mesmerizing eyes. "Why'd you leave?" My shaky voice asked. He ran a hand through his hair and sighed.
"I had to. I had to re-evaluate my life and decide what I really wanted to do with it. I had to escape that town. I was suffocating there. I needed a different scneery." While he had been suffocating I had been dying. I need that escape too.
"You knew I needed you." I looked down whispering.
"I needed to leave you. You were bringing me down." I looked at him in disbelief.
"Well, sorry I was such an inconvenience for you," I hissed walking away. He grabbed my arm.
"Wait. I didn't mean it like that, Brookie." I stopped and turned to face him. "What I meant was I couldn't help you anymore when I couldn't even help myself. And that's what was bringing me down." He spoke ever so softly, his words sounded like velvet.
"What are you talking about you couldn't help yourself? You were always happy."
"I was happy because I was trippy. I was into some bad stuff. I was high everyday. I was destroying myself and throwing my life away." He admitted.
"Why didn't you take me with you?"
"I thought you were strong enough to handle yourself."
"Well, I wasn't. And I'm not." I ran back to Alex's house not stopping to look back and praying he wasn't following me. When I reached the path to their house I realized I still had his jacket on. the lights inside were all on. I sat on the porch and felt something in the pocket of his jacket. The cigarrettes and lighter. I smiled lighting up another Newport. I inhaled slowly and deeply. Damn, it felt good. The door opened and I didn't look.
"You shouldn't be smoking." I looked up at Destery holding a beer.
"You shouldn't be drinking." I retorted.
"Touche. Even so, smoking's worst."
"Drinking destroys your liver."
"Smoking causes lung and mouth cancer."
"It's a slim chance."
"It's still a chance none the less. Either way your lungs will be black."
"So be it." I said taking another drag, blowing the smoke in his direction. He offered me his beer and I took it. What? I never said I didn't drink or cared about my liver. Hell if I die, the world would be a better place. I took a sip and handed it back tohim also offering some of my stoag. He took it and asked "3DP?" I nodded (For those of you who don't know, 3DP means 3 drags, pass) He took a drag and blew it in my face. "You know what that means when you do that? I asked.
"No, what?"
"I wanna fuck you." He shrugged. There was a long silence after that and the cigarrette along with the beer was gone.
"I'm sorry." He said barely audible. I looked at him confused and asked him what he was sorry for. "For touching you when you didn't want to be touched. For everything that's happened to you."
"Don't pity me. Don't be sorry. I deserved it. I ran my mother away. I ruined my father's life and I've ruined my own. Honestly, you should stay as far away as possible for I might ruin your life too. Everyone I meet, I ruin their lives it seems."
"You can't blame yourself for any of that. You dad ruined your life and his. Your mother left all on her own. I'm not giving up. I'll be by your side through it all. I won't let go." Yeah I've heard that before. Jace said the same thing when I told him to leave me alone after he found out everything.
"I've heard that before. They gave up. They left. They let go. I"m not holding my breath this time."
"Well, I'm not them. I'm not going anywhere, I promise." He said looking at me. He seemed genuine but so did everybody else. I snapped my head towards the street when I heard footsteps on the pavement. Jace. He looked at me surprised.
"What are you doing here?" He asked.
"I live here. What are you doing here?"
"I'm staying here until I get a job and my own place. Alex is my best friend." I stood up and walked inside instantly tackled by Koryn with a hug.
"I thought you'd left forever. Don't ever do that to me again, Lia." I hugged him back and promised him.
"Lia?" Jace asked. "Her name's not Lia." Koryn, Alex, and Destery all stared at me confused.
I sighed glaring at Jace. "My name's not Lia. It's Brookelle. I lied about my name when I met Koryn so that if my name was on the news he wouldn't tell the cops he'd seen me and send him in my direction." They all seemed to comprehend and dropped it.
"Why would you be on the news?" Jace asked.
"I ran away."
"Oh that explains the hair and this town." I nodded saying I was going back to bed. I started towards the stairs but stopped and looked at Jace.
"Um, can you sleep with me, Jace?" I asked slightly embarrassed. He smiled and grabbed my hand. We made our way to my room and I changed my socks and took off his jacket placing it on a chair. He stripped down to his boxers and climbed in bed. I got in after him and layed on the edge. He wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me closer. I flipped sides to face him and snuggled closer. I was cold and he was warm.

The lights out,
I still hear the rain,
These images that fill my head,
Now keep my fingers from making mistakes,
Tell my voice what it takes,
To speak up,
Speak up,
And keep my conscience clean when I wake.

Don't make this easy,
I want you to mean it,
Jasey. (say you'll mean it)
You're dressed to kill,
I'm calling you out, (don't waste your time on me)

Now there's an aching in my back;
A stabbing pain that says I lack,
The common sense and confidence,
To bring an end to promises,
That I make in times of desperate conversation,
Hoping my night could be better than this in the end.
Just say when.

Don't make this easy,
I want you to mean it,
Jasey. (say you'll mean it)
You're dressed to kill,
I'm calling you out, (don't waste your time on me)

I've never told a lie,
And that makes me a liar,
I've never made a bet,
But we gamble in desire,
I've never lit a match,
With intent to start a fire,
But recently the flames,
Are getting out of control.
Call me a name,
Kill me with words,
Forget about me,
It's what I deserve,
I was your chance,
To get out of this town,
But I ditched the car,
And left you to,

Wait outside,
I hope the air will serve to remind you,
That my heart is as cold as the clouds of your breath,
And my words are as timed as the beating in my chest

He ran his fingers through my hair while he sang softly. I was mad at him but I still loved him. He'd always be my bestfriend. I fell asleep soon after he had placed his lips against my hair and he began to run his hands over my arms and stomach.