No Matter What (I Have You For Christmas)

I knew googling the rumors wouldn’t help my conscious. There’s so many websites that’s dedicated to me and the other wives and girlfriends of the Penguins. Some posts were pretty hateful. I could tell that once you became a wife, the comments become a little less hateful. In less you have blonde hair and big boobs or you’re with an extremely likable hockey player – then the female fans would begin to hope that you get a divorce.

I scroll down on another page and some one had taken a picture of me with Kris when he was signing autographs at some event. I sat beside him playing around with my phone. Look at this bitch. Does she have trust issues or something? I bet Kris paid for her phone and clothes. Her hair looks so fake… I wish Kris would date a REAL girl. She’s ALWAYS with him!!!. My picture at the autograph signing was reblogged a few times with more comments. Some of the posters actually stood up for me.

“He just picked me up from the airport.” I tell the computer. My flight had come in late. So I came with Kris to the signing so he wouldn’t also be late.

“Nanci, I thought you were putting decorations on the Christmas tree?” I jump from my seat on the couch and slam my laptop screen shut.

“I was. I got distracted.” I tuck my feet under my body and watch Kris come into the living room and sit down onto the love seat that’s off to my right.

“By the garbage websites?” Kris knots his eyebrows together in a frowning look at me.

“I went to Starbucks for a Crème Brule and people actually recognized me. As your girlfriend. And they told me things that…” I stop there. I didn’t want to admit to Kris that I actually googled the rumors of his behavior on the road.

“Me?” Kris prompts.

“It’s stupid. I just got curious.”

“Yeah, il est stupid.” Kris gets up off the couch and leaves the living room. I caught the French in his words – he’s frustrated.

I sigh and re-open my laptop. I clear my history and place my laptop back to the coffee table and get up off the couch. I pull my jeans back over my butt and walk over to our small Christmas tree. We didn’t buy a large one this year, since we don’t collectively have a lot of decorations. Before Kris left to practice this morning I made sure he did the angel and the lights along with the garland. I hate wrapping the lines around the tree.

“So what did you find out?” Kris asks coming back into the living room with his own laptop.

“Don’t worry about it. It was the usual garbage you’d expect with girlfriend blogs.” I open up the IKEA box and take out the match-y looking bulbs and start putting them onto the tree.

“Hmmm.” Kris hums out a reply. I give him a confused look but continue with my decorating.

“Ah, oui. Do you think I go after the blondes in California? Or, mon amour, the girls at the hotel desk?” Kris looks over his laptop screen with a grin.

“No. It’s the girls that intern and work at the arenas.” I chuckle.

“Sometimes those les filles[girls] get me hot et tracasse [bothered].” His grin becomes wicked.

“That’s cool.” I turn my attention back to our half finished tree.

“They take my mind off my girlfriend that doesn’t leave my side and makes me pay for everything.” Kris speaks up after a minute.

“Okay! You know what? Fuck you.” I toss the half empty package of IKEA decorations onto the coffee table over my laptop and storm out of the room.

“I thought you were better than listening to rumors, Nanci.” Kris yells from the living room. I enter our bedroom and take my purse off from the bed post. I choose my jacket and scarf quickly and exit the bedroom to make it down to the front foyer of our apartment.

“Gee, Kris. Don’t tell me you haven’t gone on google to search yourself. Did you know I’m human?” I ask him stuffing my feet into my boots.

“Where are you going? Are you coming to my game tonight?” Kris asks me coming down the hallway.

“Je ne sais pas. I guess you’ll know if you see me after the game, non?” Now I’m frustrated.

“I come home for my afternoon nap and my girlfriend gives me this merde[shit]. Unbelievable.” I open the door and Kris leaves the hallway to walk down to our bedroom.

“Fucking idiot.” I refer to Kris as I walk down the hallway. I go down the one flight of fire exit stairs to the outside where my car is parked in the visitors parking. Kris’s one room apartment came with one underground parking spot and a visitor parking spot.

I decide while waiting for the gate to open that I’ll finish Christmas shopping. In the secret Santa that the girlfriends and wives are doing, I managed to pick Michelle Cooke’s name out of the Santa hat. And no, I still don’t know what to get her.

After circling around the mall parking lot for a bit and fighting my way into the mall, I didn’t know where I was going to go. I could walk aimlessly around the mall and risk not making it to Kris’s game. If I was still going.

“Holy crap.” I turn my head around at the loud voice and see Jordan Staals’ girlfriend, Heather, corne out of the store I was just window shopping at.

“Hey.” I grin to her.

“I thought you were the type that’d sleep when Kris comes home for a nap.” Heather laughs.

“I am.” I admit. “And I feel the affects of not having a nap.” I say out loud.

“Sometimes I can nap when Jordan comes home before the game. I’m just not feeling it today though.”

“Oh. Same.” She didn’t need to know that Kris and I fought.

“Walk with me. What are you up to?” She asks starting to walk down the part of the mall I just came from. I follow her anyways.

“Christmas shopping, trying to find something for Michelle.” I shrug.

“Oh, you got Michelle? I got Veronique.” Heather looks over to me with a grin.

“Damn. She practically told all of us what she wants and what aisle and shelf it’s on.” I think back to her standing up when commercial time-out was on during one of the home games. She told all of us the where and what of her desired gift.

“I know, I got the decoration. It’s pretty cute. I’m just going around trying to find little things for Jordans’ stocking. And me.” She holds up her Victoria’s Secret bag.

“I wanna look into this store.”

“I shall help you with looking for things for Michelle.” Heather bites onto her lip as we enter the candle shop. I walk over to the cute Christmas candle holders and sigh.

“Michelle is so hard. Matt practically gives her everything she’d ever desire, you know?” Heather looks over to the… thing… I have in my hands.

“Gift cards always work too.” She shrugs.

“Urgh.” I put the decoration down and look back to scan around the store.

“Okay, we’re going to go to Nordstrom’s and I’ll show you what I’d get her.”

“I’m glad you have a clue. I was so close to getting her a gift card.” I say as we exit the store. “And I hate giving out gift cards. I love watching people actually open something.”

“I know what you mean.”

We make small talk as we make it to Nordstrom’s. Heather leads me straight to the jewelry and stops in front of the meaning necklaces.

“Alright. There’s this angel one that is pretty cute. And the three wishes one – kinda meaningful for her kids – and those ones…” She points to all the ones around.

“Oh wow.” I hold up the three wishes necklace and read the description. “This is so her.” I think over to her charity work back in Vancouver and her and Matt’s past. Her past in particular.

“That one could have so many meanings to her.” Heather nods.

“This is so it. Thank you so much Heather.” I couldn’t help myself but hug her. “And then I’ll run over to Starbucks and grab a twenty dollar card so I’m at the hundred dollar limit.” I decide.

“Yum!”

We begin to walk over to the closest cash register and my eye catches on something. I change my path without telling Heather and walk up to the case of mens jewelry.

“Way to change course on me. I asked nothing if it was going to the game tonight.” Heather comes up behind me.

“Sorry, this kind of caught my eye though.” I point to the watch that’s to the right of all the others.

“Watches are so personal though.”

“He’s literally been looking for a watch for ages. I know exactly what he wants and this is so it.” I flag the lady that was behind the counter and get her to get the watch out of the glass case.

“That is a pretty nice expensive watch.” Heather notes once I hold it in my hand. “Ooooh Burberry.”

“I want to cry. We’ve been looking for watches everywhere and this is it. He wants the black face. The three miniature faces. And it’s not silver.”

“Would you like to buy the watch?” The lady asks me with a grin.

“Yes.”

“Wow. You’re dropping a lot of bucks for a boyfriend.”

“I know.” I add the necklace for Michelle in my purchase and grab my credit card out of my wallet.



All the girlfriends and wives were hanging out in suite 66 after the penguins’ game once the guests piled out. I had a moment of realization when I saw the watch that Kris and I were in it for the long haul. When I saw the watch, I had no doubt to just buy it. Even if we were in a small feud. This mimicked me going to the game tonight. It’s what I do; I go to his home games each and every night and I cheer my boyfriend on. Everything in my life is put aside for five hours each home game day for Kris. That includes when we have fights.

I nudge my purse closer to my body, feeling the large box where the watch sits poke my side. Heather gave me a ride here so I’d ride with Kris back to the apartment. This of course only works if Kris is up to me being in the same vehicle as him.

In small groups the guys come in to mingle with significant others and teammates that came in before them. Everyone chatted about the upcoming Christmas party and how not having Talbot around to harass Santa’s helpers will definitely be missed.

“Hey.” I feel a large arm snake around my waist and Kris’s lips press onto my temple.

“Hey.” I nuzzle into his large chest.

“I almost thought that you weren’t going to come tonight.” Kris admits in a low voice so that none of the couples hear our chat. “I even texted Veronique during the first intermission to see if you were up in the suite.” At the mention of her name, my eyes travel around the area to find her. She’s watching Kris and me and takes her eyes off of us when we have eye contact.

“I couldn’t not show up.” I look up to Kris with a smile. He grins and leans down to kiss my lips.

“Uh oh. Tango’s getting affectionate.” Cooke teases us.

“You’re right. We should get going.” Kris looks down to me again and smirks.

We take ten minutes to say bye to everyone that’s still around and we get into Kris’s truck.

“Should I sign autographs?” He asks starting up the car. I open up the glove box and hand over the sharpie he keeps in the car for occasions such as leaving the arena.

“Do it.” Kris takes the sharpie out of my hand and eases his car into drive and over to the gate.

“Just tell me when you want to go.” Kris tells me when he stops the car. I nod an understanding and he rolls his window down.

I choose to leave the watch alone until we get back home.



“Home.” Kris groans walking into the apartment first. He goes off towards the bedroom and I stay in the foyer to take my shoes off. I take my coat off and follow him down the hall.

“Kris-“

“Nope!” The bedroom door closes shut in front of my face and I step back in shock.

“Uh, Kris?” I knock on the door.

“I’m getting changed and I’m feeling a little shy.” I hear his accented voice through the door.

“Good Lord.” I mutter leaving the door. I walk into the living room and dump my coat on top of the love seat. My eyes travel over to the Christmas tree and I let out a surprised gasp.

The tree was completely decorated. The lights twinkled off the garland and all of our ornaments. I step closer to the tree to look over at all the decorations. Since becoming a couple three years ago, we always bought an annual ornament. I found the three of them easily and looked on to others on the tree. My eyes pass over the Pittsburgh Penguins’ candy canes and the normal candy canes. Pass the IKEA balls and the random ones Kris has picked up at cities he’s travelled to. My favorite of those was from Stockholm, Sweden. I smile at the Stanley Cup one and touch the Winter Classic ornament.

“Is the tree up to your standards?” Kris asks from behind me.

“Of course it is. Thank you for finishing it.” I turn around to look at him.

“I know Christmas is five days away. And I’m off to Winnipeg in two days and am back on Christmas Eve. But you’re an amazing girl and I want to give you one gift now.” Kris bites down on his bottom lip and then licks his bottom lip.

“Me too!” I make a move to go to my purse that’s on the love seat but Kris stops me.

“No, just one second.” Kris takes a step back from me and licks his bottom lip again.

“Okay.” He rolls his shoulders forward.

“Nanci, today I realized you’re human.” Kris snorts. I wanted to giggle at his nervousness. “In my mind you’re this amazing, understanding, gorgeous, perfect girl that gets me. Not only do you get me but you also don’t stand for my bullshit and you still let me be me.” Kris looks up to the ceiling and grins. “You put time away to come to my games every night. You always text me something about the game if I’m in some other city. And then wait for me to call you. You’re patient when I’m signing for fans or doing anything with fans…” Kris trails off and shakes his head quickly.

“Basically… what I’m saying is…” His eyes roll up to the ceiling and then he gets down onto one knee.

“Holy shit!” My hands move to my mouth and I don’t feel my knees.

“You always put me first. And now I know that I want you to come first.” He laughs at his unintentional sexual innuendo. “That you should always come first. This was just going to be a promise ring but then we’d just be wasting our time. Will you marry me, Nanci?” Kris takes the small box out of his pocket and opens it towards him first and then turns the box around so the ring is facing me.

“Just one second.” I run over to my purse and take out the watch box and open it like the ring that he has waiting for me. I knee back down in front of him and angle the box so that he can see.

“Kris, I’d be so freaking honored.” Kris takes his eyes off of the watch to stare at me in the face. “That’s a yes.”

Kris uses his shaking hands to take the ring out of the box and holds my own shaking hand to place the ring onto my engagement finger.

“Oh my God. I’m going to marry you.” Kris says taking my head with his hands and kisses me. I kiss back with all my might – trying to show Kris how much I love him through our kiss. His hands move down to my neck and he leans back with a chuckle.

“I was so nervous.” He admits.

“I wanted to laugh at you licking your lips and looking up to the ceiling.” I laugh. “What do you think?” I refer to the watch.

“This is so perfect.” He takes the box out of my hands and takes the watch out of its resting place.

“I found it at Nordstrom, of all places.”

“Really?” Kris laughs opening the clutch on it to put it on his wrist.

“We’re always there. I can’t believe we never saw it.” Kris loves shopping at Nordstrom. “I saw it there and all your little requirements came flooding into my head at once. I knew it was yours.”

“This watch is amazing. You’re amazing.” Kris kisses me again.

“We need an ornament for our first engaged Christmas.” Kris mumbles into my lips.

“We do.”