On Top of the World

[[Martin's POV]]

“Fuck, that was good,” I said to Frank, pushing my way through the door of the diner with him following just a few steps behind me.

“Sure was. I’ve never had breakfast for dinner before,” Frank mused, which made me laugh. I held the door open for him, and he passed through with a grin that still looked rather shy. We didn’t have a very lively conversation during our meal, but that was mainly due to the fact that we were still getting used to each other.

Frank wasn’t the only shy one. If anything, I think that I am even more shy around him than he is around me, because it’s not just Frank that I’m getting used to. I’m still getting used to my sexuality, which is actually coming along quite well.

My sexuality finally makes sense to me; I feel like a completely different person now - a better person. I had so much anger and confusion and frustration pent up inside of me, from the pressure that came with being on the football team, the pressure I felt from my mother to keep my grades up and be her perfect little shining star - there are times when those things became too much for me to handle.

According to my mother and the ladies at her church that I no longer attended, I was “so handsome”. There was always some fake bimbo that she and her friends were trying to set me up with. They would pressure me to go out with these girls, who in turn would pressure me into very uncomfortable situations. I swore it was because the girls that my mother and her friends chose for me to go out with were all wrong for me, which I know now is only partly true.

I wound up going for the exact opposite of what was chosen for me, only after I was able to let go of being afraid.

Afraid of my close-minded teammates. Afraid of my controlling mother. Afraid of disappointing everyone.

Everyone except for me, of course…

“What are you thinking about?”

I blinked out of my daze, and glanced over at Frank, who was wearing an apprehensive look on his pretty face as he held on loosely to my hand, and smiled.

“Just thinking about random stuff,” I replied, clutching his hand a little bit tighter as we followed the sidewalk that lead toward the very same park where I had met Frank at just this morning. “Mostly I was thinking about you, though.”

Frank grinned up at me then, letting go of my hand completely so he could wrap both of his arms around me. Grinning, I pulled him closer into me, and we continued this way toward our destination. Even though this is where his mother said she would be picking him up, and that each minute that ticked by meant it was one second closer to Frank having to leave me, my grin wouldn’t disappear. Simply knowing that I finally had someone to call my own, let alone someone as amazing as Frank, was enough to make me feel like I was on top of the world.

I wasn’t thinking about tonight when I would have to face my lonely bed without him, or tomorrow when I’d have to face my teammates and every single one of the kids back at school. There’s no doubt in my mind that everyone now knew about the incident on the football field yesterday, and why it happened.

I glanced at my watch, and clutched my grip around Frank even tighter. Only a half hour left before he’s supposed to leave.

That leaves no time at all to worry, or think about anything other than my boyfriend, my Frank. I took a deep breath, and allowed Frank to lead me wherever his little heart desired, which looked to be the duck pond over in the distance.

Sure enough, that’s where we were headed. We settled down on one of the benches that overlooked the duck pond, surrounded by ferns and willows that formed a protective shadowy blanket over us. I put my arm around Frank’s shoulder, and he leaned in as close as he possibly could, becoming quickly absorbed in my grasp.

“Thank you for being mine,” I spoke softly to Frank, who lifted his head up slightly so he could look at me. Stroking his cheek softly, I closed my eyes as he brushed his lips against mine, and got lost inside of that angel-soft kiss. As he pulled away, he caressed the side of my neck, and leaned his forehead against mine. Frank’s brilliant green eyes were sparkling, his perfect smile was dazzling.

My heart was racing, and I could feel so many different emotions swimming through my entire body. I’m feeling so many new and wonderful things, things that I have only ever dreamt about. Things that are actually nowhere near as good or beautiful as they seem in movies.

These feelings that I’m feeling for Frank, when he looks in my eyes like this, traces his fingers over my skin like he is right this instant, and presses his lips to mine like he just did, are way better than those very same actions depicted in those scripted movie romances.

“I’m yours for as long as you want to keep me,” he replied in a soft voice, instantly making me shut my eyes as I crushed our lips together once again.

I’m not quite sure about what these feelings for Frank mean just yet, but I am quite certain that I don’t want them to ever end.

----

Once Frank’s mother picked him up, I began the walk back to my house. However, I drew my hood up and found myself wanting nothing more than to take the longer way home. My heart was still racing; however, it wasn’t that good feeling that was overtaking my senses. It seems that the minute Frank left me sitting alone on that bench, he had taken my invisible security blanket with him, and I was suddenly terrified.

I felt exposed. I felt alone.

I wasn’t necessarily up for school tomorrow. Technically, I didn’t have to go back for a few days because of the note I had gotten from my doctor, but I knew that Frank would have to go back tomorrow. I’m not entirely sure that I feel comfortable with the idea of him having to face the wrath of everyone at school alone, without me there to protect him. That thought was now plaguing my head more than anything, and unfortunately it was the only thing I could think of on my incredibly un-peaceful walk home.

As I rounded the corner on to my street, the first thing I noticed was my mother’s car parked in the driveway. I’m sure that she’s discovered by now that I had gone missing, and I’m even more sure that she’ll have it in for me when I walk through the front door. Compared to what’s in store for Frank and I tomorrow, the wrath of my mother is the last thing that I’m worried about.

I took a deep and unsteady breath as I turned the door knob and walked inside, bracing myself for what was to come. I shut the door behind me, and waited for the shrill sound of her voice to come booming from whatever room of the house she was currently occupying.

However, I was met with absolute silence. The television wasn’t tuned to the six o’clock news, the kitchen sink wasn’t running, and the stereo wasn’t blaring her favorite Elvis record. I heard absolutely nothing.

I was a little bit worried; as long as she is home, my house is never quiet.

I followed the only light that illuminated the dimly lit hallway into the kitchen, and found the ability to breathe become slightly difficult once my eyes fell upon my mother. She was seated at the kitchen table, with her head resting against her folded hands, which were propped up on her elbows. I slowly advanced toward her, but she didn’t budge.

“Mom?” I questioned, placing a concerned hand on her back. She jumped at the contact. “Are you okay?”

“Oh, Martin!” She gasped, giving a startled laugh. “You scared me, son.”

“You scared me,” I replied, smiling a bit at her reaction. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing, I…” Her voice trailed off, and her eyes looked troubled. There was definitely something that was bothering her, she just didn’t want to tell me what.

“You…?”

She gave another weak smile. “I guess there’s no getting around it.”

She got up from her chair and headed toward the kitchen. I made sure to follow closely behind her, and settled myself against the granite countertop. I watched as she pulled a few things out of the fridge so that she could start on dinner; anything to keep from having to say whatever it was that she clearly didn’t want to say to me.

“Ma, I’m really not that hungry,” I reasoned, trying to get her to stop trying to stall. I walked up beside her, and noticed that she gave a deep sigh as she set the various vegetables down on the countertop.

“Please mom, just tell me whatever it is you have to say.”

She looked up at me with those same troubled eyes, and sighed once more before she finally spoke.

“Coach Beckett called, honey,” She began, forcing herself to look away as she began to chop up some lettuce. “He wants to see you first thing tomorrow morning. He says he has some things that he needs to discuss with you about the incident that happened on the football field.”

I’d be lying if I said that the mere mention of my coach’s name didn’t send a shiver down my spine.

“Did he say why?” I squeaked, eyeing the pieces of lettuce as they fell from the blade of the large knife that she was using to shred them to pieces.

I couldn’t make eye contact with her, I couldn’t even look at her. The tone of her voice sounded devastated; we both know exactly why the coach wanted to speak to me, we just couldn’t bring ourselves to mention it to the other.

“No,” She said, dropping the knife on to the counter. She turned to me, and put on a brave, yet forced smile. “But I informed him that you wont be back at school for a few days, so-”

“Why did you do that?” I interrupted, my voice coming out a little louder than I intended for it to. She was a bit taken back at my outburst, and I couldn’t blame her.

Not only was my tone a little inappropriate, but I was your modern day Ferris Bueller. I’d always try to cook up ways to keep from going to school, like last year when I rubbed my eyes excessively and claimed that I had pink eye. I was out of school for an entire week. In this current situation, I had a legitimate excuse to stay home. Needless to say this has never happened before; the fact that I actually wanted to go to school, and was giving up my free pass to stay home.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to shout,” I apologized, groaning slightly because I didn’t feel like having to explain myself. “I can’t stay home, I just… I have to go to school.”

She glanced at me skeptically; she must have known the reason that I wanted to go back. It was written all over my face.

“Fine, Martin. As long as your arm is feeling better. How’s your head?”

“I’m good, mom,” I said, giving her a slight hug. “I’ll go back tomorrow and talk to Coach Beckett first thing in the morning, k?”

She patted my arm. “Okay, baby. I’ll set this in the fridge for you in case you get hungry later, k?”

“Thanks,” I said, kissing her cheek. She gave me a real smile then, and I gladly returned it. Anything that I could do to convince her that this wasn’t the end of my football career.

Anything that I could do to convince myself…