I Love You More Than I Can Ever Scream

She said,” I’m alone.”

I curled my fingers into a fist. She actually fucking cheated on me. I demanded,” Are you cheating on me?”

She whispered,” Andy it’s not what you think. Sweetheart, I just...”

I growled,” I can’t do this anymore. I don’t deal with Cheaters.”

Before she could answer I threw my phone against the wall and punched the wall. FUCKING GOD DAMMIT! First Scout, Hanna, and now Juliet. Why can’t I just find someone who doesn’t do that shit? Was it me?

I got out of the bus with a bottle of whiskey and decide to go on a walk. We were in Vegas now so I was sure I could find something to do. I was walking down the strip knowing that I couldn’t gamble because I wasn’t twenty one. Even being a rock star in Vegas, you couldn’t do much if you weren’t twenty one. They needed to lower the age limit.

I swayed in my boots and makeup since we had just got done with a show an hour ago. So it was about midnight and the lights were still glowing and streets were still busy. I didn’t bother to tell the guys I was leaving. They were probably already drunk.

I stood in front of the dancing fountain and watched as the little kids seemed to enjoy it. My Heart Will Go On was playing in the background and I groaned. Damn fucking love songs. I mocked,” I’ll never let go Jack.”

That fucking bitch did let go! Your love with her was true. Yeah right. I couldn’t believe I was really talking shit about the Titanic now. I was half tempted to throw my bottle of whiskey into the water but I really didn’t feel like getting arrested.

I frowned into the dancing water when I felt someone touch my shoulder.

Desirae:

I was out on the strip getting some Nyquil when I noticed Andy standing by the dancing waters barely able to stand upright. I was sure it was him because who could miss the grease painted man. I jaywalked and touched his shoulder and whispered,” Andy?”

He turned around with a look of anger then of surprise. He asked,” What are you doing here?”

I gave him a weird look,” I’ve been here for weeks.”

He nodded dramatically,” Oh yeah that’s right. Want a sip?”

I shook my head and grabbed the bottle from his slippery fingers,” No but how about I save you from an alcohol in public charge. Come with me.”

I felt his hand grab onto mine as I led him through the crowd. I knew it wasn’t right but I let him hold my hand because I had a feeling I would lose him or he would fall on his ass. I led him to the Caesars Palace where I was staying at. He asked, “Hey? Wasn’t the Hangover filmed here?”

I nodded,” Sure was.”

He chuckled with a hiccup,” Awesome!”

I took him up to the hotel room and he was suddenly angry. I crossed my arms and looked out the window as he began to vent,” What gives her the right to cheat on me!? I want to know.”

I stood up straight and looked over my shoulder at him. Did I just hear him correctly? I could smell the alcohol on him and part of me wondered how much of him was really there anymore. I saw him go for the bottle again so I rushed in front of it and took a sip of it. I stated,” Take a sip and then you’ll get sick. I doubt you want that.”

He eyes changed,” Why do you have to be like that? It makes me want to kiss you.”

He really wasn’t making any sense. Why do I have to be like what? Stubborn? I coughed and walked away from the man who was still eying the whiskey, debating on taking a chance on getting sick. It was really just my luck. I’d get to the top three and I would feel like crap.

I rolled my eyes and demanded,” Well keep talking about what’s bothering you!”

He gave me a big nod like he just remembered to continue,” I call her and she’s all out of breath and with some guy! THE FUCK!?”

He went for the whiskey again and I pointed towards the bathroom,” Go take a cold shower right now! I want to hear the story from the sober you.”

He pouted but stalked off to the bathroom. When I heard the shower turn on I sighed with relief. I lay down horizontally on the bed just resting. I found myself falling asleep until about twenty minutes later I felt the bed shift. I opened my eyes to see Andy frowning. He apologized,” I’m sorry, you shouldn’t have seen me like that.”

I wanted to point out that this whole situation was kind of hypocritical. I gulped finding what I was about to say hard,” You love someone who cheated on you, you have relieve the anger somehow.”

He asked,” How are you feeling?”

I replied, “Like shit.”

He got up and grabbed the Nyquil,” Since I’m here, I’ll take care of you.”

He tripped a little and I stated,” I’m pretty sure we’ll be taking care of each other. You’re still a little drunk and I’m sick. So this will be interesting.”

He cracked a smile,” well there’s never a dull moment with me.”