The Art of Life

In class today, our teacher played some classical music. She put us into a line and instructed us to dance across the room.

I was nervous. I shot a look at the other girls, whom were chatting away. My friend Kati gave me a smile of excitement before continuing her conversation with the others. I looked away. It didn't really help my nervousness.

Then we started. Of course, the first person to go was Chastity. She twirled and leaped like she was a professional, and she looked amazing. I couldn't help but gawk. She danced with the music expertly, her thin body moving with the rhythm, and she ended with a precise plie on the other side of the room. We all clapped. Chastity didn't lose her cool and turned up her nose with an apathetic expression, accepting the praise with stone cold coolness.

The rest of the people went in front of me. They seemed anxious and stiff, probably thinking that they couldn't beat Chastity's performance. I knew I couldn't beat her. And as the girls danced, Chastity's pretty face morphed into a sneer. Chastity knew she was better. When they finished, in a snobby voice, she told them what they could've improved on, because her parents were professional dancers and they taught her everything, so she knew what people could do better. The teacher shushed her, but she didn't stop.

It was finally my turn. My brain seized up and I forgot all the moves I learned. But somehow, I managed to move my frozen body and dance. Instantly I felt the music go through me and suddenly, that was all that mattered. I danced and danced, feeling the music in me, and I was filled with warm happiness. Dancing was what made me whole. I knew from the very start that this was going to be my dream. And from the first ballet class, it became my dream.

But then, I caught Chastity's eye. Her face was twisted into pure disgust, her lip curled back, and in an instant she became the ugliest person alive. Her expression shocked me and it threw me off. I became self-conscious. I didn't know what to do with my arms or legs. I was almost done, but all of the sudden I didn't know what to do. I lost my balance. And I tripped over my feet and fell.

I hit the floor loudly and tears burst out of my eyes. Some tears of pain, but mostly I was embarrassed. Then I heard the shrill laugh of Chastity as I struggled to pick myself up. The rest of the group joined in. Crushed, I just ran off into the back of the group in a corner and tried to stop crying. The teacher rushed over and calmed me down.

I heard Chastity hiss to her friends, "She can't do anything right."

The friend said, "She's ugly too."

And Chastity replied, "She's too fat to be a ballerina. Her fatness makes her fall and makes her ugly."

I looked around and all the girls around her were giggling.

That's when I just ran out of the room.

---

I came home from the studio and worked on my homework. Asher had texted me while I was student-teaching. I felt stupid for forgetting to tell him that I was busy after school. I had a ballet class once a week and for the rest of the time I student-taught at the local dance studio. I managed to tell him at a break that I was busy and I was sorry about that, but he took it alright and told me to text him later.

I worked on my math homework a bit, occasionally glancing at my phone. I was scared to pick it up. Eventually after wavering for twenty minutes between texting and not texting, I finally gathered the courage to text him.

Me: hi asher. im done with work. =)

Asher: Hey! :)

He replied almost immediately, like he was sitting there with the phone in his hand waiting. It kind of surprised me, but I texted him back and we got into a short conversation before he texted me the pictures.

He told me he was going to send me three of his best drawings. The first one was a fantastical picture of a deer-like thing with branches and flowers growing out of it. It looked like some sort of tree spirit. The second was a drawing of a dragon; the detail on its scales was amazing.

The third didn't come.

I waited for a while, finishing up my math homework and starting on my English. I checked the last text message. It had been about fifteen minutes since he last texted.

I thought about sending a message back, in case his didn't send or something, but I decided to wait five more minutes. I started reading the book we had to study in English class. I got distracted, and eleven minutes later I checked my phone. He still hadn't texted.

Me: asher?

There was no answer.

I kind of felt hurt, but I pushed that away. It still lingered in my mind though and it made me feel stupid. I shouldn't pine over him; he probably just had something to do. He was just a boy. A... cute boy that I may or may not be liking more than I should.

Then my phone vibrated.

I checked the message.

Asher: I'm in the hospital. I'm sorry, don't worry about it, okay?

My heart dropped into my stomach. How could I not be worried?

Me: whats wrong?

Asher didn't answer for a long time. I bit my nails and chewed on my cuticles, trying to read and not imagine worst case scenarios. He probably just had a check up or something. But...

He said not to worry. Which meant there was probably something to worry about.

I cursed myself for being anxious over a boy I just met today. I was getting too attached too quickly. I usually didn't do this. I had a friend named Brian in my history class, and when I first met him, I didn't get all googly-eyed at him, and he was actually pretty attractive. I felt stupid. Asher was probably just some flirty boy that was going to get bored with me after a week.

A long while later, Asher texted back. I was putting on pajamas.

Asher: I got injured. :/ I'm pretty accident prone. Sorry for not texting back.

Me: its OK. what happened?

Asher: An animal slashed my arm. I know that sounds stupid, ha ha. I have this big bandage now.

Me: oh geez, that sucks. =(

Asher: It's alright. Do you wanna see the other picture? :)

We texted a while longer. The other picture was of this little fuzzy animal with big ears and wings. I was relieved that he was okay, but for some reason I got the impression that he was just faking being alright. I was scared to ask about it. After texting more, I got a tiny bit more relaxed and then texted:

Me: are you doing alright?

Asher: ... Honestly, not really. That animal really freaked me out. I didn't want to scare you out by telling you. This wasn't my intention to get attacked tonight. :/

Me: its OK. i dont get freaked out by those things. blood, vomit, snot, it doesnt bother me lol.

Asher: Ha ha, you're a tough girl. :) .... but.... can I call you?

Me: sure.

Asher called me. I picked up, my heart jumping in my chest, and I said the automatic, "Hello?"

"Hi Marissa." His voice made my heart flutter. He had a sweet, sensitive voice that just melted my heart. "You sound different on the phone."

"You sound pretty much the same."

"I mean, I guess it's just different because I can't see your face." He chuckled. "You have a nice voice, and without the nice face it's not the same."

My face fried with a blush. "Th-thank you."

"Sorry, I just like calling better than texting, Texting seems so impersonal."

I finally got my mouth to work. "Mhm." That was all I could manage at the moment.

Asher seemed to hesitate a bit. I could hear his breath in the phone. "Um... Marissa?"

"I'm still here, Asher." My heart was doing flips.

"Okay, I know I've just met you today and whatnot, but I've been a super creeper and I've been watching you for a while since I've moved here." He said meekly. "I finally got the courage today to talk to you today and... Do you want to do something sometime? Like see a movie or something? I was thinking about bowling, but I didn't know if you'd like it, and I really wasn't planning on screwing up my arm, anyway, I'm babbling and bleh. I'll let you think about if you want. I mean, you don't have to and stuff, bowling sounds stupid anyway, and yeah. Uh... um-"

"Since when did you become so shy?" I almost laughed. "I thought you were a theatre kid."

"Okay, I'm charming when I'm flirting, but when I actually ask someone out I kind of flip out." He laughed weakly. "Give me a break here, how 'bout you be me for a second and go ask a beautiful girl to go on a date with you."

My face flushed with embarrassment. Was I really that beautiful?

"Asher, I'd love to do something with you." I said, barely believing this.

"I'd really like to get to know you, you know?" Asher said softly. There was a slight pause. "You seem like a really good person."

My heart warmed. "You seem like a really good person too."

"I try to be."

We both giggled, and I suddenly felt excited. But a little scared too.

What if I'd mess this up?