Turbulence

Taping my toe, I waited impatiently for Jonathan to answer his door. I knew he was home. I had seen his vehicle on the way up and could hear the television behind the closed door. “This is ridiculous,” I grumbled, knocking harder on the dark wood. I didn’t wait too long before deciding to knock again. As I raised my hand to knock once more, the door swung open, revealing Jonathan, dripping wet, with a towel wrapped around his waist.

“Can I help you?” he snarled, stepping to the side to let me in.

“Sorry,” I muttered, distracting my eyes from his glistening body. “I didn’t realise you were in the shower.”

“Clearly,” he stated, closing the door once I was inside. “Can I go finish or is there something important you need?”

“Go ahead. I can wait until you are done.” I ventured over to the couch as he made his way back to the bathroom. I let out a breath and busied my mind with what else I needed to finish before heading to David’s. It was such a relief that the boys had ended up with two days off. Knowing that Davis was looking after Cameron was like a weight lifted off my shoulders.

Ever since I had told him about my son, he had made a huge effort to stay a part of my life. The fact that he loved babysitting was an added bonus, especially when they weren’t playing.

“Okay, so what is it you need?” Jonathan emerged wearing only a pair of jeans. He tousled his wet hair with the towel as he stood in the entrance of the room.

It took all I had to divert my eyes once more. “I just want to get back to where we were. Things haven’t been the same between us, and when I talk to other people I start to wonder why. I mean, yeah, we fought, but why was it such a big deal? I miss having you around as much as you used it.”

“I miss being around, both you and Cam,” he confessed, setting the towel down and sitting next to me on the couch.

“Then we need to straighten this out.”

“I don’t know what to tell you, Cee.”

“Can I ask you something then?”

He nodded, but turned his head toward the television.

“Are you still angry that I told Davey and Pat about Cameron?”

Letting out a sigh, Jonathan shook his head. “No, I mean, it’s not my favourite thing, but I’m okay. I knew it was bound to happen eventually, and it did. I guess I just wasn’t as prepared as I could have been, so I got angry.”

“I should have given you some sort of warning before telling Dave.”

“No, you have more that enough right to make those decisions without telling me.”

“Then why did you explode like you did?”

“I think I was jealous,” he admitted.

“Jealous? Of what?”

“I felt I was losing you to David.”

“Like when you lost me to Pat?” The words slipped from my mouth faster than I could register.

His expression changed from confusion to sheepishness in seconds as he evaluated what I said. “I don’t know what you mean.”

“Please don’t play games today,” I almost pleaded. “I’ve been talking to Dave, and I know I shouldn’t believe everything he says, but this is something I’ve been questioning often.” I paused, taking in his body language. Deciding he wasn’t yet on the defensive, I continued. “Dave said you were really bummed out after Pat and I started dating.”

“Well, yeah,” Jonathan nodded. “You were an awesome friend, and I knew it would mean less time spent with me.”

“Are you sure that’s it?” I quizzed, wanting to make sure I got the whole truth.

“What are you implying?”

“Really, Jonathan, I think you know.”

The brunette gazed into my eyes, studying me as he thought. Glancing down, he took my hands in his own, and returned his deep brown eyes to my own. “Look, Carey, you are amazing. I have thought so since the day we met, but when you started dating Kane, I knew I had to move on. You were so happy with him, which surprised most of us. I couldn’t ruin that, though. Pat’s my best friend, and you are, too. I didn’t want to be that guy.”

“So, you let us go on with our relationship. Why had you never said anything?”

“You must know by now that I am not good at that stuff. They call me Captain Serious for a reason.”

“Okay, and what about now?” I asked, carefully watching his expression.

“What about now?”

“Do you still feel the same way?”

“Come on, Cee, Patrick is my best friend.”

“It doesn’t matter,” I told him, shaking my head. “How do you feel about me now?”

“I think you’re strong and brave,” he started, letting go of one hand to place his own on my cheek. “I think you are beautiful, both inside and out. I still think you are amazing, Cee. Nothing could change my mind in that regard, not even Patrick.”

“Jonathan,” I whispered, trying to ignore the man’s hands and stare. I was finding it hard to form thoughts. “I didn’t know.”

“How could I expect you to?” He asked, taking the hand off my cheek. “I knew you were happy with the way things were, and I couldn’t be the one to spoil it.”

“What if I wasn’t happy?”

“What do you mean?”

“Since our fight, I’ve been conflicted. Everything that happened was no big deal, yet you blew up. Then I was talking to Dave. He put so many thoughts in my head. I’ve been so confused about what has been happening. Not to mention the fact that Pat wants to get back together.”

“He what?” Jonathan let go of my hands and turned away, embarrassed. “I should have known.”

“Yeah, he said it a lot lately. I keep telling him no. I mean I want him around for Cameron, but I don’t see us having a future.”

“Then why are you conflicted about it?” He inquired.

“He kissed me.” There was no point in lying, especially since he had just confessed some of his inner most feelings. “And I kissed him back. Memories of how it used to be came flooding back, and I know I don’t want him, but I do want to feel like that again.”

“Maybe this will help,” Jonathan said, swiftly taking my face inn his hands and connecting our lips.

The kiss was so soft, so sweet, that I didn’t want it to end. Knowing it had to I pulled away. “Jon, I-” I was interrupted by his lips on mine again. This time I didn’t pull away. This time I placed my hands on his bare chest, and deepened the kiss. I pushed out any nagging thoughts, and decided to enjoy the moment.