Turbulence

“What the hell is wrong with you two?” I scolded, as the two men got into the backseat with Cameron. “Firstly, you tried to fight each other, and secondly, you did it in public, with video footage. It’s all over the news.”

David chuckled at my motherly ways, and turned to look at the guys. “You two okay?”

“We’re fine,” Patrick huffed. “I didn’t hit him that hard.”

“He’s also handicapped,” David smirked, egging on the blond man.

“Davey,” I warned, pulling away from the station. “Don’t push it. The last thing I need is that have to pull over because Patrick has started beating the shit out of you.”

“He didn’t do such a good job against Jonny,” David joked. “And Jon only has one arm to defend himself.”

“Fuck you,” Patrick snarled, looking out the window to pout.

“Lighten up, Pat,” Jon rolled his eyes. “They are just bugging you. I thought I was the one who was supposed to be serious.”

I chuckled, lightly, in an attempt not to riel the blond up more than he already was. “I think you two are letting this get to your head.”

“Says the one who has been locked in her house since we returned to Chicago,” Jonathan remarked.

I shrugged, and slowed for a red light. “I really had no reason to leave.”

“Or talk to anyone? Except Bolly, clearly.”

“In my defence, he forced my attention.”

“I heard some of the ladies were trying to get in touch.”

I rolled my eyes. “Yeah, who wouldn’t want to gossip about this. Plus, you know what they are going to inquire about.”

“The rest of the population might easily forget about everything, but the wives are going to keep pestering you until you speak to them,” Jonathan explained, almost knowingly. “They can get pretty nosy, which I’m sure you noticed, especially when you were dating this guy.” Jonathan jutted his finger in Patrick’s direction.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Patrick snapped.

“Jeez, Patrick, you really need to relax,” I said, glancing in the rear view mirror to study him. “What’s going on? You’re not usually so full of yourself, or snappy.”

“It’s nothing,” he muttered, still staring out the window. “Don’t worry about it.”

I exchanged a look with David, and noticed the Jonathan held an expression of concern, too. “Come on, Patty, we’re all friends.”

“Are we though?” He asked, glancing at me through the mirror.

“I know this is a rough situation,” David spoke up. “But are you actually suggesting that our friendships have been broken because of everything that has been happening lately?”

I pulled into my garage, and sat, watching Patrick as he contemplated how to respond. With the way he had been acting, I knew it would be nice to get to the bottom of things.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” Patrick shut down. “I need some rest.”

I nodded, and slipping out of the car. “You can have a nap here, if you want. The bedroom is all yours, for as long as you need.”

He forced a thankful smile, and wandered off to my bedroom once we were in the house.

“Am I missing something?” I asked, glancing between the two men.

“If you are, we are, too,” Jonathan assured me, as he wrapped his arms around my torso. “He’ll be okay, Cee. He just needs to sit down, and talk about whatever it is that is bothering him. I know you still care about him, and it must be really hard not to, but if he won’t talk to you, you have to let it go.”

“What if I can’t do that?” I looked up at his face to measure his reaction. I could feel his deep breath, as he thought. “I don’t want you to be angry, but I need him to get whatever it is off his chest. He takes care of our son, a lot, and I don’t want whatever is bothering him to translate to the health of Cameron. I loved him, once upon a time, and a small part of me needs him in my life, for Cameron’s sake, of course.”

Jonathan took another deep breath before responding. “I get it. I don’t like it, but I get it.”

“Thanks, Jon,” I grinned, and popped up onto my toes to kiss his cheek. “I’ll be back in a bit.” I left David and Jonathan to take care of Cameron, and made my way to my bedroom. I knocked lightly, and entered without waiting for a response.

Patrick was sitting on the edge of the bed, his head in his hands. His shoulders shook slightly, indicating his crying.

I was shocked, and without saying a word, sat down next to him and threw my arms around him. He relaxed into my body, as I rubbed his back in a calming manner. “Shh,” I hushed, trying to soothe his pain. “Whatever it is, it will be alright.”

“Will you lay with me?” Patrick whispered, after a few minutes.

I hesitated, knowing that I should probably say no, but having a strong urge to say yes.

“It’s okay, forget it,” he muttered, pulling away. “I know Jon’s still here, and you’d probably rather be out there.”

I shook my head, and grabbed his hands. “Pat, that’s not it at all. I’ll stay here as long as you need me to.”

“Thanks,” he grumbled, moving to lay on the left side of the bed, just like he had when we were dating. He laid on his side, and watched me move to the other side. “Is this okay? Do you still sleep on that side?”

I nodded, laying down on my back. I stared at the ceiling, trying to clear my mind. “Yeah, I haven’t really changed my sleeping habits since us.” In my peripheral, I saw him genuinely smile.

“You’re still staying up until all hours, unable to sleep?”

“More so now, than what it used to be. I’ve been a bit more stressed in the past few months.”

“Sorry about that. I know I’m a huge part of that.”

“Everything is a huge part of that,” I admitted. “From keeping Cameron healthy, to dealing with you, keeping secrets, and dating Jon. Everything is just weighing down, you know.

“And I know Jon wanted the All-Star trip to be a chance to get away from it all, but it just followed us there.” I noticed his uncomfortableness with the mention of Jonathan. “Does it really bother you that much?”

“What?”

I sighed, and turned to my side to face the man. “Jon and me, is it really that big of a deal?”

He opened his mouth to respond, but closed it, thinking longer about how to answer.

“You have to tell me if it is a problem, Pat. I don’t read minds.”

“I know it’s none of my business, Cee, and really, Jon is a great guy. I want to be happy that you two are happy, but it sucks.”

“I’m really sorry you feel that way, Pat.”

“I know, Cee, I know,” I closed his eyes, took a deep breath in, and continued. “It’s really hard to see you with someone else, especially when that person is one of my best friends.”

“You’ve been with other people since me, why is it so hard to see me move on?” The question had been burning inside me for some time.

“For one, you’re the mother of my son. When you got over me, and started seeing Jon, it just kind of hit me. There is a possibility that he will have a step-father one day. Don’t get me wrong, Jon would be a great dad, and everyone knows it, but now I’m thinking about how involved I’ll be when you find that person you never want to let go of. I don’t want to be shut out of Cam’s life.”

“You know that won’t happen,” I told him. “So, I don’t understand what has you like this.”

“I still love you, Cee. Nothing is going to change that.”

I stared, shocked at what he had just admitted. My mind rushed back to when David told me about Patrick’s feelings, and how I never believed him.

“You don’t have to say anything,” he muttered, sheepishly. “I know you don’t feel the same way, which is fine. You can tell that you and Jon are in it for the long run, but it hurts to see the love of your life make a living with your best friend.”

“I, I didn’t know,” I whispered, taking his hand. “Why haven’t you said anything?”

“I guess I thought I had made it clear when I told you I wanted to make it work.”

“I assumed that was for Cameron’s sake,” I admitted.

“Well, after awhile it was. You made it pretty clear that you didn’t want to be with me, and that’s fine. I was a huge asshole back then, and it’s really hard to come back from that.

“I’m kicking myself, now. I should have gone after you. I should have tried harder back then, rather than letting you walk out the door forever. But I guess everything is easier in hindsight.”

I didn’t know what to say. The confession had taken me completely by surprise, and was taking longer than usual to register. My thoughts were flooded with what ifs within moments. What if he had gone after me? Would I have stayed? Would it have worked out, or would we be in the same position that we were currently in?