Turbulence

“Are you sure, Care?” He asked, pacing back and forth in front of me. He ran his hand through his hair as the other hand was placed on his mouth. “Is there any way that you could be wrong?”

“Wrong?” I whispered, tears sliding down my cheeks. “I don’t think so. I took three tests and went to the doctors. They all came back positive.”

“Oh God, this can’t be happening to me.”

“To you?” I raised my eyebrows. “This isn’t just happening to you, Patrick.”

“Carey, babe, I’m sorry,” Patrick sighed. “I didn’t mean it the way it sounded.”

“Then what did you mean?” I asked, angrily.

“Don’t start that,” Patrick warned.

“Or what, Patrick, you’re going to dump me? Well good for you because you and I both know that this isn’t going to work out, especially with the way you just reacted.” I took a deep breath and studied his expressionless face. Taking another deep breath, I continued. “I thought you loved me.”

“Carey,” a voice said as someone shook my shoulder. “Earth to Carey.”

I watched a hand wave in front of my face and looked over at the owner. “Yes?”

“What’s going on? You disappeared on me.”

“Sorry, David,” I said, giving him an attempt at an apologetic smile. “I just started thinking and got lost.”

“You know, Ceb, everything is going to be okay,” David told me. A smile graced his face as he looked down at the menu sitting on the table. “Order anything, I’m treating you today.”

“Oh, no you’re not,” I argued, shaking my head. “You always treat me. This time I am treating you. I have money to spend and I will spend it on your lunch.”

“Fine, but only if you talk to me.”

“I have been talking to you, David.”

“No, not just talking. I want you to tell me what has been going on. Ceb, you’re one of my closest friends. I know there is something up. Ever since you and Patty broke up, things have been...different.”

I opened my mouth to question his statement, but he held up his hand.

“I haven’t seen you in over a year and a half. I want to know what’s been going on. One minute you were dating Patrick and the next you were gone and only stayed in contact with Jonny. Do you realize how much that hurts, Carey?”

“I’ll explain, but not here,” I promised. “Can we get our food to go? We can go to my apartment and I’ll tell you everything. You have to swear not to say anything.”

“You’ll tell me the whole truth?” David asked.

I nodded and placed our takeout orders. I quietly sat across from David, studying his movements. He looked thoughtful and worried. I knew that he was thinking about the different reasons that I disappeared from him and almost the rest of the team.

Within twenty minutes, the two of us had our food and was on our way to my apartment. The ride was hushed, the only noise being from the traffic outside.

“Who else knows?” David asked, breaking the silence.

“Knows what?” I asked, glancing over from the driver’s seat.

“Who else knows what you are going to tell me?”

“Jonathan,” I replied.

“Only Jonathan?”

I nodded slowly. “Patrick obviously knows about everything up until I broke up with him, but Jonathan is the only person who knows everything.”

“How come you never told me? You can trust me, Ceb.”

“I know, David. I just don’t want you to be disappointed with me. I didn’t want anyone from the team to be disappointed or disgusted or whatever else.”

“Come on, Ceb, you know we wouldn’t think that. We’ve known you for almost four years. I get that you don’t like to be around Pat, but you could have talked to us. No one would have said anything.”

“You could have visited,” I responded, pulling into my parking spot. After getting out of my Ford Ranger and grabbing my purse, I lead David into the lobby of my apartment building. I waved to the doorman, Roy, and introduced him to David. “This is my lovely apartment building,” I told David, spreading my arms out as if to show it off.

“It’s great, Ceb. Have you lived here all this time?”

“Yes, I have,” I nodded, pressing the button in the elevator. The number 48 became illuminated and the box began to rise slowly. “You’ve never been here because, every time I see you, you are either at Jonathan’s or at the bar.”

“I guess I never knew what I was missing this entire time. Why do you live so high up?”

“You mean, why do I live on the 48th floor?” I watched him nod. “I liked the view. The apartment isn’t so bad either, but the view of the city is amazing.”

“I’m not arguing with you there,” David smiled as we got off the elevator. He followed me down the hall and into my apartment, stopping when he took a step inside.

I watched as he scanned the room. “Do you want to come in a bit further? The living room is to the left, go make yourself comfortable and I’ll grab some water.”

As David made his way into the next room, I went into the kitchen and grabbed two bottles of water from the fridge. Turning around, I could see David walking through the room, inspecting details as if he were a detective investigating some case.

“Where do you want me to start?” I asked, entering my living room.

David jumped a little and smiled. “I know that you and Pat dated, so maybe start with your break up.”

“Okay,” I nodded and sat on my green couch. I patted the cushion beside me, motioning for him to join me. “So, you know that we dated for about two years and a year and a half ago we broke it off. Well, I broke it off.”

“Can I ask why or are you going to tell me?”

I placed a hand on his arm and gave him a forced smile. I was never one to enjoy being interrupted, nor did I enjoy being asked questions that were going to be answered. “I was about to tell you.” I paused and took a deep breath before continuing. “Patrick,” I stopped again. The name felt too natural as it rolled off of my tongue. Even after all of the time that had passed, it felt like it was meant to be a part of my vocabulary.

“You okay?” David’s face held a worried expression.

I slowly raised and lowered my head. “Patrick and I had been sleeping together for awhile. We were always careful and then, about a year and a half ago, I knew something was going on. I took three tests and went to the doctor’s office for another test. Everything came back positive.

“The day I told Patrick, he was less than happy. He said something about not being able to believe that this was happening to him. I got mad, I mean, how could I not? It wasn’t only about him. It had to do with me and Cameron as well.”

“Whoa, back up. Who’s Cameron? Like Barker? I didn’t know you knew him.”

“I don’t,” I replied, shaking my head. “Cameron is my son.”

“You have a son?” David’s eyes nearly jumped out of sockets, but his face looked confused. “Where is he? How come we’ve never met him? How old is he?”

I held up a hand to stop him from continuing to ask questions. “Please, stop. I told you I would tell you everything and I will. This story takes time, so please have patience.” I watched David nod. “When I told Patrick about the tests and finding out I was pregnant, he wasn’t happy, like I said. I broke up with him that day because he said some things that made me believe he was going to leave anyway. That’s when I cut myself off from the team. No one came to visit me for three or four weeks.

“One day I was getting ready to go to the bar early and Jonathan knocked on my door. He sat me down on this couch and told me what he knew. He offered help if I wanted and told me that, although Patrick was his best friend, he wasn’t impressed by his behavior. We talked for a few hours, until I had to be at the bar for my shift.

“After that day, he would visit almost daily. He would call during road trips or when he couldn’t come over. He lost his girlfriend because of me. Something I will always feel guilty about.”

“You know what he told the team about her leaving?” David asked an amused smile spread across his lips. “He told us that she felt like she could do better since he was always dealing with hockey.”

I had to laugh at this. I was thankful that he hadn’t told anyone about what was going on with me, but I felt bad that he had fibbed to his team. “He’s a man of his words. You know he’s going to know that you know everything.”

David nodded and motioned for me to continue.

“As I began to get bigger, I worked less. It was hard to hide my baby bump behind the bar. So I called in a favour from my friend in New York. I asked if I could borrow his bar manager until I was able to get back to work.

“When he agreed, I started spending time with Jonathan, his brother, and his brother’s girlfriend. Once Cameron was born, I made him a room out of my den, but knew I couldn’t keep him here all of the time. So, Trina, Jonathan’s future sister-in-law, and I made a deal. She would keep him at their place and act as his caretaker until I could figure out what was going on with my housing situation or until he was one year old, whichever came first.”

“So, how old is he now?”

“Eleven months. I don’t want him to be a secret, but I don’t want all of the questions that come along with having a child. I go to see him all of the time, and I’m supposed to head over sometime today. Um, did you want to join me? I’ll probably go once I am finished my story.”

“There’s more?” David raised an eyebrow. “Of course I want to go with you. Just answer me one question.”

I nodded. “Anything.”

“Are you and Jon sleeping together? Or are you dating?”

Trying my best not to laugh, I shook my head. “No, never. We are just good friends. We go for morning runs together.” I watched as relief washed over his features. “The last part of my story deals with Patrick. I am one hundred percent over him, I assure you, and, no, he has not talked to me since our split.

“This summer I was in New York visiting my friend, who inspired me to start my bar. While I was walking, I saw Patrick with a woman. They were kissing and laughing. It took me back to the times when he and I were like that and it stung. I don’t know why, but it hurt to see that.” I felt a tear run down my cheek as I looked into my lap. The feeling of David’s thumb wiping the water away caused me to look up into his eyes.

“You had a connection. I get it. Don’t beat yourself up about it.”

I nodded and looked at the silver clock that hung on my wall. “I think it’s time to go.”

The two of us rose from the couch and made our way to the door. When David reached for the doorknob, I placed a hand on his arm. He turned to look at me.

“Thank you,” I whispered with a sincere smile. “Thank you for listening and understanding. And thank you for not judging.”

His arms were suddenly thrown around my small frame as he pulled me into a tight hug. “You know I would do anything to help you out, Ceb. You’re probably my best female friend ever.”

I couldn’t hide the smile that spread across my lips as we left my apartment and started down the corridor to the elevator.