Turbulence

Tears, like unstoppable waterfalls of emotion flowing down my cheeks. It felt like they had started hours ago, I was surprised that there was still hydration left to spill out. Then again, from my spot on the floor of my shower, it was hard to tell whether or not the sobbing was still causing my face to be wet.

As the water started to turn cold, I could hear the faint sound of the door closing and footsteps approaching. I was half expecting Jonathan to walk through the door, but knew that would be too good to be true. I closed my eyes, as a soft knock sounded, and I did my best to ignore the person on the other side.

“Care?” The door opened slowly before a pair of feet stopped in front of the shower. “What’s going on?”

I glanced up, quickly, before closing my eyes once more. “Fuck off.” They were the only words I could muster.

“You are laying in your shower, crying.”

“Fuck off,” I muttered again, opening my eyes in time to see a pair of shorts drop to the floor next to a shirt.

“Sit up,” he mumbled, slipping into the shower.

Obeying, I pushed myself up so I was leaning against the cold tiles.

He sat down next to me, and pulled me into his chest. “David came to the rink today with Cameron.”

I nodded, already knowing.

“It’s a day off.”

I drew in a deep breath, again, knowing what he was telling me.

“He came looking for me.”

“What’s your point?” I grumbled.

“What happened? I haven’t seen Jonny, but I can imagine the state he’s in.”

“He might actually murder you,” I informed.

“You told him everything?”

“Everything.”

“His stuff’s still here.”

I shrugged. “I’ll send it to him.”

“Why are you in the shower?”

I shrugged, again. “The crying. It was too much.”

“So, what now?”

“Now, I go on with my life. I think I’ve ruined enough relationships over the past couple years, I just need to move on.”

“Please don’t disappear.”

“What?”

“Don’t disappear from us. You did it after we broke up, and it sucked. Not so much for me, since I was fooling around, a lot, but I know Bolly took it hard.”

“Really selling me on it, Pat.” I let out a small chuckle, and shifted away from the blonde. I wrapped my arms around my knees in an awkward attempt to hide my nakedness. “I don’t know what to do. I feel like I’ve lost one of the best people in my life.”

“I hate to break it to you, but you did. Jonathan is really great.”

“You’re such a fucking twat.”

“You loved me for it once.”

“I kind of still love you for it now.”

“Sorry?”

“I’m not saying I love you, just that I love bits about you that I hope Cameron never picks up on.”

“That’s so sweet of you,” he laughed. “Do you think it’s time to get out of the shower? You are all shrivelled.”

I agreed and waited for him to turn the tap to off. As he searched the cupboard for something to dry off with, I pulled my towel tight around my body. “You know you didn’t have to come out here. I can cope on my own.”

“Just like you coped after us?”

“I had support from Jon.”

“And now you have support from me.”

“I have Davey,” I argued, not wanting to admit he was right.

“I’m not going anywhere.”

“I know. You’ve been a thorn in my side for that last year.”

“Bitchy, but fair.” He led me from the bathroom and into the kitchen.

I sat down at the table, and watched Patrick move smoothly through my kitchen preparing two mugs of tea. “We should talk about Hamburg.”

“What about Hamburg?” He raised a brow at me.

“We should have never done what we did.”

“Maybe so, but you have to admit that we’re still pretty good together.”

“I’m glad ruining my relationship makes you so pleased.”

“Come on, Cee,” he pleaded, sitting next to me. “Did you really expect me to be miserable? We still make one hell of a team, especially in bed.”

“Shut up,” I snarked. “I wish I could blame you in all of this, then at least it would make sense. None of it makes sense, though. I keep going over the past few months in my head, and nothing makes sense. We aren’t together, we aren’t an item, we are barely friends, so how did this happen? How did I fall under your fucking spell, again? You would think that I’d be smarter than this by now.”

He took my hand, and stroked the back with his thumb. “Blame me if you need to. I don’t care. What happened in Hamburg was amazing, and I know you’re angry with a part of yourself for it, but you can’t deny that it was nice to take the trip back to what we used to have.”

“I’ve never cheated before.”

“I know, and the first time sucks.”

“Sucks more if it’s with your boyfriend’s best friend, who is also your ex.”

Patrick smirked, and kissed the back of my hand. “I never wanted to let you go.”

“You keep saying that.”

“It’s the truth. You know, when I was with you that was the only time I never truly strayed.”

“How gentlemanly of you,” I rolled my eyes.

“It’s true, Care. And even now, when I’m with those other girls, you are on my mind.”

“What every girl wants to hear,” I grumbled. “I don’t want you to get your hopes up, Patty.”

“We are just friends.”

“Thanks.” I sent him a forced smile.

“I’m sorry.”

“Sorry?” I stared, quizzically.

“That this happened,” he explained. “Especially now. I knew how you felt about him, and that should have stopped me, but it didn’t. For that, I am sorry.”

Without a second thought, I leaned toward him and planted a soft kiss on his lips. Pulling away, I stared into his shocked blue orbs, and smiled, genuinely. “Thank you.”