Hey Niki

The end of the month came and went and I went to see my mother on the Saturday, like planned. It was a bit awkward at first because my mother seemed to not want me there, but then she told me that she just didn't want me to see her like she was. I told her that nothing could make me think any differently of her because of why she was there. The visit didn't smooth out straight away, but as it neared the end she loosened up and I saw the mother I remembered. When it came time to leave it was one of the worst things I had to deal with, and when we got back to my uncle's house I went straight upstairs and locked myself in my room. I didn't even bother with Tomos or his friends, not even Mikey who was there too.

I was due to next visit my mother in two months time, the time extended because it takes a while to get there and although my uncle said he'd take me whenever I wanted, I couldn't expect him to take time off of work to take me every month. I had told my mother that when I saw her, and even she agreed which had my uncle reluctantly agreeing. I didn't want to go longer without seeing my mother, but I had to think of how to get there rather than just myself.

The week after I saw my mother was the toughest, but I got through it simply by only leaving my room to go to school, ignoring any knock on my door I received. The following week I was back to how I was before. Mikey had been over every day during the week after school, and each time he had come to my room and asked whether I would come and join them. At times I have said no, telling him that I had homework to do and there was no way I would put it to one side, but most of the time I had agreed and Tomos had laughed each time and shook his head. He told me why when I asked. It was basically the point that he had said I was cute, that he thought I was pretty, and he liked hanging out with me but would never have the guts to ask me to hang out with him with it just being the two of us. I found it sweet that he's pretty shy like that.

Alexandria and Chris had started talking which I was happy about, but it didn't progress much past asking how the other was. After the visit, I put myself into trying to get her confidence up to try and not dwell on how it went and just how much I missed her. If I thought about how much I missed my mother, it'd hurt, and if it hurt then I wouldn't be able to focus in my lessons like I needed to.

Soon the days were passing by quickly but it didn't make much of a difference for me because I didn't often keep track of time, only doing so when I had something to look forward to, or had something that I had to remember. The routine I was now in seemed comfortable and it rarely broke which meant that hanging out with Mikey and my cousin was becoming something that happened daily, and it wasn't something I minded too much. It seemed that I had become used to living with my uncle, and in a way I had because that's what I needed to do for the time I was in school. It wouldn't do me any good to not get used to where I am now; it's going to be like this for the rest of the year so it was best if I became comfortable with it.

It was Tuesday again and instead of heading to her house, Alexandria was going to be coming with me to my uncle's and spending the night. I had been over to her house the previous week and her mother had been thrilled to meet me, something about how Alexandria hardly ever brought friends back to the house. And somewhere in that visit to her house, it was arranged that she'd spend the night at my house the following week, something that had thrilled her mother yet again. Just before I left her house she had apologised for her mother and I had just laughed. It hadn't made a difference, and I quite liked how her mother was. She reminded me somewhat of my mother, though she wouldn't have acted quite the same as her mother did.

"Will I have to talk to your cousin, Niki?" Alexandria asked when we met up after school. We were waiting for Tomos and then would walk back to my uncle's house. His friends would probably follow later, like normal. I looked at her. "Even though he's a year younger than we are, he intimidates me," she explained.

I laughed lightly. "Don't worry, Alex. You don't have to talk to him if you don't want to. Is it because he's a boy or because you're shorter than he is?"

"Me and the male species do not mix, Niki. I thought I made that clear with the whole Chris thing."

"You're getting better, though."

She made a noise of disagreement. "If you can call making a fool of myself getting better, then yeah, I'm getting incredibly better," she said. I nudged her slightly and gave her a smile. "How are you so good with boys, Niki?" She knew all about my previous boyfriends and what has occurred. We had shared quite a bit about our lives with each other, though my mother had remained closed to her.

"I'm not that good, Alex. Trust me. Sometimes I'm completely at a loss with them, and I want to do something but don't want to seem like a fool so I never do it," I told her.

At that moment Tomos came over to us and we started walking. Our conversation shifted and dropped when we left the school's road. It remained silent the whole time and when we got to the house Tomos turned to me and told me that he was just going somewhere so if my aunt asked about him that I could tell her. The first thing Alexandria and I did in my room was complete any homework we had, and even though we had received homework in a class today, it barely took twenty minutes to complete. After that I decided to try and help her more with her confidence with boys, not by making her speak with one of them but just explaining to her how I managed to keep calm when speaking to them.

We stopped for dinner and then came back upstairs, but instead of talking or even reading, Alexandria asked whether we could watch a film. I had to ask my aunt about it seeing as there wasn't a television in my room and she had to go into the cupboard for the attic to retrieve one that they had put away because it wasn't being used. It was a VHS player too, so instead of having to look for a separate VHS player, we just used the television and we watched a video that I found in the cupboard. It made me remember the times when I was younger and would watch videos with my parents. The majority of the films I watched with my parents were before I was ten; afterwards I grew up and didn't find the appeal in watching television that much.

The both of us were sat on my bed to watch the film. It was a Disney one that I had never watched when I was younger, but Alexandria did and that was why we were watching it. A knock on my door halfway through the film disturbed us, me more so then Alexandria. I quickly got off the bed and went over to my door. The light was off so my room was relatively dark so I opened the door and stepped into the hallway to talk to the person who had knocked. It was Mikey. He looked a bit confused as to why I had coming into the hallway rather than stayed in my room. "We're watching a film," I explained.

He nodded. "Does that mean that you won't be hanging out with us?"

"Yeah, but only for tonight. She's staying over and doesn't really like people she don't know," I said. It was partly true. A door down the hall opened and we both looked the same way. My cousin looked back at us from his doorway.

"Did you ask her?" he asked, looking at Mikey which had me look at him as well.

"Ask me what?"

Tomos came down the hall and patted my shoulder. "Mikey's a bit shy," he said and I rolled my eyes. "He wants to know whether you'll hang out with him this weekend. Just you two."

"Thanks a lot, Tom," Mikey said bitterly. I couldn't help but smile at him.

"You really want to do that?" I asked and he nodded. "Aw, you're so sweet. Sure I'll hang out with you this weekend."

He looked a bit surprised that I agreed. "Really?" I nodded. "Um, thanks." I couldn't help but laugh. Tomos shook his head before gesturing to his room. I watched as they both went down the hall and to his room, Mikey only stopping to look at me once before going into the room. As soon as they were out of sight I turned around and went back in my room. Alexandria was sitting on my bed like I left her but she was watching me come in the room rather than the film.

"I think I just got asked out for the weekend," I told her.

She sighed and threw her hands up in the air. "How are you so good with boys, Niki? It's not fair," she complained. I just laughed.