Hey Niki

I didn't leave my room for the rest of the day after I had received the phonecall from Carol. I spent the time thinking over the conversation a real lot and trying to decide which option would be the best for me to do. In the end I decided to make lists on the good things and bad things to do with each option. I wrote the good points to staying with my Uncle and Aunt, and I also wrote the bad points. Then I wrote the good and bad points to moving in with Carol. After a while I started making lists of the good and bad points each of the options would inflict on me. It was safe to say I didn't get a minute of sleep that night.

In the morning I stayed in my room until the latest I could, only leaving it when it was time to go to school. I didn't bother with breakfast either. Tomos was still in the house when I left. I was meant to wait and get a lift from my uncle like normal but today I didn't want to be around any one. After the phonecall yesterday I needed a lot of time to think, and sadly last night didn't fulfil that need.

Alexandria was at school when I arrived and she was waiting for me. I wasn't going to avoid her, but I just didn't feel quite up to talking with her.

"Your uncle took me home last night," she told me when I got near to her.

"I'm sorry about that."

"I can't blame you, Niki."

I sighed. "I don't want to talk about it."

She nodded and kept quiet. The bell went shortly afterwards and we separated, going to our different classes. I couldn't pay that much attention in my first class but I made sure that it looked like I did. The more I acted like nothing was bothering me, the easier it was. Being in a class full of other teenagers made it easy because no one focused on me and I was free to my thoughts without being watched. By now almost all my teachers had good views of me so there was nothing for them to watch me for so it wasn't like they'd be inclined to wonder about me suddenly and notice that I wasn't paying attention.

I saw Tomos in passing between classes but he didn't see me so I didn't say anything to him. I knew that he and my uncle would probably want to talk to me after school, something that I didn't want to do, but I knew I owed it to them because we're family and we cared about each other. After all, if the situation had been reversed and Tomos had been in my place, I would have been worried about him, especially after hearing the one-sided conversation that they did last night.

It wasn't until my third lesson that my day actually collapsed in front of me. It started off just like my other lessons and continued on as the teacher taught, but when she dismissed us and left the room to go get something from another class, I was approached by someone I had never spoken to before.

"Hey, you're Niki, right?" someone asked. I looked at the person and tried to think of why he would be talking to me. Sure, I was in his class but never once had he ever attempted to talk to me before, nor had I ever had any interest in talking to him.

"Yeah, why?" I asked.

His expression changed. I couldn't quite understand just what his new expression was –it seemed to be a mix between curious and amused, except it didn't show fully either of those emotions– but I felt myself not wanting to know.

"Is it true that your mum's crazy?"

I felt my breath hitch in my throat. Why would someone ask something like that to someone they don't know? "W-what?" I asked quietly.

He sighed and looked at me as if I were stupid. "Your mum's in a psych ward, right? So she's batty? Crazy? A nutter?"

His words made my temper flare. I wasn't one to become angry, in fact it took an incredible amount to even get me to become in a bad mood, but right now he was pushing passed any barrier I had up. "Don't you dare talk about my mother like that," I hissed and stormed away from him.

I couldn't quite get my emotions under check. I hadn't had any sleep and was still reeling after the phonecall yesterday, but now this boy whose name I don't even know just pushed my emotions over and trampled on them. How could he have known that? How could any one have known that? Carol had only phoned yesterday and it wasn't like I had told any one who hadn't heard my side of the conversation. I wasn't one to share my personal life with people whom I probably would never see again after leaving school, much less didn't I trust in the present. So that meant that someone had told someone else. But why? I hadn't done anything to any one. I didn't get involved with anything; much less did I have someone who would hold a grudge against me. And they were mostly all friends with Tomos so nothing to do with me. Alexandria couldn't have told any one about it. We were friends and she could barely speak to boys, let alone spread something like that.

While I was trying to sort my thoughts out, I bumped into Alexandria. It was lunch time now and we were meant to sit together now, but I couldn't do that. I needed to go find Tomos and his friends.

"I'm not staying for lunch, Alex. I need to find Tom," I told her straight up.

She nodded. "I'll come with you."

I didn't say anything else and just headed into the canteen further, trying to look for my cousin in the room. It was crowed and noisy like always but as I stepped further in, I noticed Tomos on the other side of the room with his friends. I started to make my way over to him, Alexandria following after me. He noticed me when I approached the table and he looked confused as to why I was coming over to him right now.

"Niki?" he asked tentatively. His friends looked up when he said that.

"Did you tell anyone?" I asked.

"Tell them what?"

"About my mum. Did you tell anyone, Tom?"

A shocked expression crossed his face. "Of course not, Niki. Why would you ever ask that? I would never do something like that to you. Never."

"Well someone did, Tom," I told him. His expression changed and he opened his mouth to say something but I continued talking. "Someone came up to me and asked me whether my mum was crazy. Asked whether she was a nutter. I didn't even know him, Tom!"

His friends looked uncomfortable. Each one of them did, but I wasn't paying attention to them. My eyes were still on Tomos and I could feel myself wanting to cry. I didn't, though, and I refused to let my emotions take control of my features and voice. My mother always told me to be strong around others, and that was something I was never going to ignore.

"Niki, I'm sorry," he started, looking like he didn't know where to begin.

I shook my head. "I can't do this, Tom," I told him before I turned around and walked away. Alexandria didn't follow after me. I just continued walking even once I had left the canteen, regardless of which way I was going.

For the first time in my life, I walked out of school before it was over. And I just couldn't get myself to care.