Give Into Me

I couldn’t correspond what had just happened.

I looked up at the ceiling trying to somehow erase what had just happened, what I had just found out. I felt my temples begin to throb. I couldn’t control myself. I stood up and grabbed the vase of purple orchids, only to throw it against the wall.

“Luce, let me in.” I heard in a weirdly calm voice, Ricky.

“Leave me alone.” I responded, coldly.

“You are going to hurt yourself. We don’t want a repeat of freshman year.” He said in a mimicking tone. Of course, Ricky, always keeping his cool, makes him ten times more annoying.

I didn’t respond. Instead I paced back and forth calming myself down. I walked over to the corner, to my suitcase. I grabbed undergarments and PJ’s and quickly made my way to the bathroom. I locked the door behind me and walked over to the bathtub and filled up the tub. I grabbed the bath bubbles and poured some into the tub. I walked over to the front of the mirror. Get a hold of yourself Lucy.

I took off my clothes still looking at myself in the mirror. I wanted to cry but I couldn’t. It was like my eyes had no tears.

I untied my hair letting it hang against my chest. I searched through the drawers trying to find scissors. I grabbed the scissors and leveled them up to my ears. I grabbed a chunk of my hair and slipped it in between the two blades.

“Don’t do it.” I heard behind me.

I gasped and dropped the scissors on the floor.

“Ricky, what are you doing in here?” I ask startled grabbing a small wash cloth to cover whatever I could.

“I knew you were going to do this, just the way you used whenever you would get mad. I thought you broke this habit?”

“Get out.” I said sternly.

“Luce, just relax, get in the tub and chill.” He walked towards me and grabbed the scissors and left the bathroom.

I walked over to the tub and slowly sank in.

The door opened slowly, Ricky.

I look up at him.

“I wasn’t really going to do it.” I said barely whispering.

“I know but you were getting a thrill from trying to make a decision, so I made it for you.”

“I haven’t done that in two years.”

“What? Cut your hair or trying to be same old Luce getting high off of hurting yourself.”

“I never hurt myself, and you know that.”

“You never hurt yourself? Lucy, you used to chop your hair off every time you were mad then the following days be depressed about it. Your hair got so short you wanted to find different ways to hurt yourself.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Lucy, look at your fucking arms! The scars may be almost gone by now, but the fact is you never would admit it to yourself. Lucy Lomali was a cutter hunting for thrill, in desperate need of some sort of rush.” He said calmly.

“I thought that was our secret.”

“It is. I haven’t told anyone, I’m just informing you on what you keep denying.” He kept his cool deep voice steady.

“Sorry.” I say simply.

He begins to undress until he’s completely naked in front of me. His beautiful body toned and chiseled in front of me. I observe from his beautiful soft looking hair to his broad shoulders, to his abs and riblets, to his amazing v, and lastly his member in front of me.

“Your beautiful.” I say softly.

“What?” he asks, still standing there as if he wasn’t naked.

“What are you doing?” I say trying to recover

“I need to bathe too.” He smirks his signature smirk and steps in the tub.

“I don’t think we fit like this.” I giggle. “Come here.” I say with a flirty smile opening my legs for him to lie in between my legs. He shifts over so that his back is on my chest.

“I like this better.” I hear his smile widen.

“I’ve never spooned with anyone, besides you.” He said in a whisper, tracing little circles on my belly.

“I feel special now.” I smile grabbing his hands, beginning to play with his fingers.

“You should, it’s not every day you get to spoon with Derrick fucking Viggo, know what I’m saying!” he laughed.

An awkward silence went by as we finished laughing.

“You know till this day I still don’t know how my mom or even Emily didn’t know I would um do that to myself. You are the only one that knows.”

“I found out because I cared, your mom was too focused on her divorce and Emily on CJ.”

“Thanks.” I put Ricky’s hands in mine and put my legs on his.

“Why were you so mad today?” he says.

“Emily lied about a couple things and well they were important things to me, things that we promised each other we’d tell whenever it would happen.”

“Eh, girl stuff.” We both laugh.

“You know this morning when I woke up, you looked different, like empty or worried, why is that?” I ask resting my chin on his broad shoulders. He begins to stroke my thighs. Thank God I shaved and well waxed.

“For the first time in my entire life, I poured my heart out and it hurt to know you didn’t remember one word.”

“Care to re pour?”

“I um, I-I just can’t. I’d have to get drunk to even let what I said sneak out.”

“Please?” I whisper in his ear, nibbling on his ear lobe then his neck.

“When y-you do that it makes it v-very hard to uh even t-talk.” He says gripping my thighs a little tighter.

“That’s my intention.” I whisper back.

••••

I slipped on some lacy panties and an oversized sweatshirt from Ricky. I laid myself on the bed waiting for Ricky. He was picking up the mess from the vase I had thrown earlier.

He laid himself down so that his head rest on my stomach.

“That was a great bath, would’ve stayed longer but I don’t want to look all prune.” He chuckles.

“I admit it was a nice bonding time.” I giggle.

“I admit, it’s incredibly hot that you don’t have a bra on.”

I smack his head. We both laugh.

“How did we grow to hate each other?” I ask.

“I am two years older and I think it was the time I began to get hormones.” We both laugh again.

“Do me a favor, yeah?”

“Sure.” I ask confused.

“Ask me something about myself, anything.”

“Like twenty one questions?”

“Yeah, let’s play that.”

“When did you lose your virginity?”

“Uh, 14, with Kayla Knight.” He snickers. “You?”

“Uh, I’m uh still a virgin.”

“So you mean to tell me no one has ever touched that.”

“Touch yeah, penetrate no.”

“Touch eh? You little naughty!” he chuckles.

“Shut up! Alright my turn. Have you ever you know thought about me in a different way than just your sister best friend?” I ask holding my breath scared for the answer. I mean what if he was just playing this amazing guy act just for a piece of ass.

“Since the day Brandon Miller kissed you in seventh grade at my sister’s birthday party. I was there getting some chips with my football buddies then I noticed you were playing. I thought there was no way in hell Lucy Losmelly would get some, then when I saw you get up to kiss Miller, you took off your glasses so they wouldn’t get in the way. You looked different, you looked beautiful. Then once you guys kissed I felt angry like, some stupid little kid, getting mad at a little seventh grader for kissing little Lucy. Just the way you blushed got me mad. I felt jealous. After that I craved your attention. I didn’t want to feel that way but I did. I thought being mean to you would make it go away. It did for a while when I discovered the beauty of sex. Then I don’t know I lost control. I didn’t know how to recollect myself, I couldn’t be the same old Ricky anymore.” He said scrunching his eyebrows.

“I love you Derrick Viggo.” I said without even thinking, it was almost like it had to be said. The thing is it is true, I do love him.

“I love you too Lucy Lomali.” He turned got up and kissed my lips with his oh so soft full lips. It felt right. It felt natural. It felt like love.

We only got to three questions before we fell asleep.

I promised him the other eighteen whenever he pleased.