Listen to Your Heart
Listen to Your Heart
Katie McClellan laughed so hard she almost snorted her cappuccino straight out of her nose. The barista at the Baltimore Heights Starbucks shot her and her rambunctious boyfriend, Jack Barakat, a dirty look.
“Sorry,” Katie coughed, holding up her hand, as Jack laughed in his slightly maniacal way and smacked his own leg. A literal knee-slapper.
It seemed like everything Jack said made Katie laughed- it was one of the million reasons she loved him, and why she was especially happy he was finally home after he and their other friends Alex Gaskarth, Rian Dawson, and Zack Merrick got home from their first summer tour as the band All Time Low. It was their first summer after graduating high school, and the dog days had been long, and lonely without Jack. Katie would have never been able to survive it without her best friend Irinna Powell, who happened to be dating the band’s lead singer, Alex.
Everyone said they were crazy for staying with their high school boyfriends, especially when Katie were going off to school and Irinna was starting a job in the city and Jack and the guys would certainly be heading on more tours as they got more and more popular, but they didn’t care. Yeah, they were only 18, but there was something special in this group that nobody else had the privilege of feeling. As Jack always said, “when you’re with the right person, you just know.”
They had been home for a few weeks now and their reunion was coming to an all-too-soon end. Katie’s belongings were packed up to the ceiling of her dinky, white Ford Focus for her trip to Georgetown University in D.C. the next day. Maybe this was why Jack was being even more hyper and hilarious than usual, Katie thought. He didn’t want her to think about the next, looming goodbye.
“Trust me, I think I saw Alex’s bare, boney butt more times this summer than I saw him with pants on,” Jack was saying with a wicked grin.
“Sounds just lovely,” Katie responded sarcastically.
“You can only imagine.”
At that moment, both of their cell phones almost simultaneously started ringing on the table- a clash of “Almost Here” by The Academy Is... and “Saturday” by Fall Out Boy. The red light shining from the front of Katie’s flip-phone read: IRINNA.
“It’s ‘Rinna.”
“Yeah, Alex is calling me too. Huh. They must’ve just got done hanging out or something.”
At this point the barista was shooting daggers at the skinny-jean clad pair as their clashing ringtones filled the coffee shop.
Katie blushed a little, “I’ll grab this outside.”
“Same.”
The bell above the door dinged as Jack pulled it open and he and Katie stepped outside in opposite directions. Flipping her phone open and pressing it to her ear, Katie snuck a quick glimpse at her tall, crazy-thin, slightly-bearded boyfriend. Even to this day, that butterfly crush feeling never went away.
“Hello? What’s up, Irinna?”
“Where are you right now?” She asked quickly. Her voice sounded a little choked up.
“At Starbucks with Jack, why, what’s going on?”
“I’d rather tell you in person but I can’t wait that long,” Irinna said with a nervous frustration. “Promise you’re not going to yell.”
“You’re freaking me out right now...”
“Just promise.”
“Ok! Ok, I promise, now tell me.”
Katie heard the static in the background, like an old TV, volume low, left on snow. Irinna hesitated before forcing the words out of her body. “I’m pregnant.”
Katie could almost hear her heart hitting the bottom of her stomach. Everything else around her went still.
“Katie?” Irinna’s voice croaked. “Are you there?”
Katie had to lower herself and sit on the edge of the curb. The shock still wasn’t shaking off, the words still were being guarded out of her mind. Impossible. Pregnant? At 18? Her best friend? No. It wasn’t possible. It wasn’t true.
“Katie...” Irinna breathed. “I’m really scared.”
And there it was. No one in Katie’s life had ever sounded more vulnerable. Nothing had ever sounded so real.
“Are you sure...”
“Yes.”
“Is Alex...”
“Of course Alex is the father! Jeez Louise Katie!”
“Sorry! Sorry, I didn’t mean, I just, I... Pregnant.” She exhaled the last word as if someone had just punched her under the ribs.
“Have you told him?”
She sniffed. “A little while ago. He just went into the other room to call Jack.”
“Have you two discussed... You know... What to do?”
“We’re keeping it.” Irinna answered. “Alex agreed with me. He said that anything that contained a piece of him and a piece of me was too special and perfect to lose.”
Through Alex’s words Katie could hear a hint of a smile in her best friend’s voice. If this had to happen to anyone, thank goodness Irinna had Alex.
“Sounds like Alex to me, ‘Rin.” Katie said. “And he’s not going to be the only one there for you. You always have me. Jack too. You’re not alone.”
Irinna replied, “Thanks, Katie. That’s what I needed to hear.” There was a moment of grateful silence that followed, as Katie watched the streetlights flicker on down the block as the sun set on this suddenly monumental day. “Looks like Alex just finished up on the phone... I should probably go.”
“Ok, I’ll come over later tonight?”
“Sounds good. I’ll see you later.”
“I love you ‘Rin. And I already love this kid too.”
“Me too, girl. Me too.” Click.
Katie picked herself up off of the curb and turned back towards the door. Jack was already back inside, sitting in his spot with his hands folded around his coffee cup, his knee bouncing wildly under the table. Katie stepped inside, away from the humid night.
Wordlessly she retook her spot across from Jack, taking a deep breath in the process.
“Wow.” She sighed eventually. Jack’s expression was unreadable.
“This... Is... The... COOLEST NEWS EVER!”
That was unexpected, Katie thought. “Um, what?”
“A frickin’ kid! This is awesome!” Jack explained, that mischievous excitement filling his face now. “He is going to have the most wicked, awesome life ever!”
“But what about the band?”
“We’ll figure it out as we go,” Jack simply shrugged. “I mean, this child is going to have you and I as an uncle and aunt. It is going to be the best dressed, mostly musically talented, all around KICK ASS child that ever existed! I wonder if Alex would be cool with naming it Jack Junior...”
“You might be able to convince Alex, but good luck getting that one by Irinna.” Katie rolled her eyes. “Jack, what about all the BIG things? Like, money and school and work and everything that’s going to change?”
Jack gave Katie a knowing, loving look and reached his hand across the table to lean over hers. “Like I said, we’ll figure it out. Right now what Irinna and Alex need is support and positivity. That’s what we have to do for them. And really, what’s cooler than a baby?!”
Katie looked at her crazy, wonderful boyfriend with admiration. “How do you do it? Take everything around you and somehow turn it into the greatest thing there ever was?”
Again, Jack shrugged, and squeezed Katie’s hand. “It’s easy to get excited about what you love,” he said. “All you have to do is listen to your heart.”
“Sorry,” Katie coughed, holding up her hand, as Jack laughed in his slightly maniacal way and smacked his own leg. A literal knee-slapper.
It seemed like everything Jack said made Katie laughed- it was one of the million reasons she loved him, and why she was especially happy he was finally home after he and their other friends Alex Gaskarth, Rian Dawson, and Zack Merrick got home from their first summer tour as the band All Time Low. It was their first summer after graduating high school, and the dog days had been long, and lonely without Jack. Katie would have never been able to survive it without her best friend Irinna Powell, who happened to be dating the band’s lead singer, Alex.
Everyone said they were crazy for staying with their high school boyfriends, especially when Katie were going off to school and Irinna was starting a job in the city and Jack and the guys would certainly be heading on more tours as they got more and more popular, but they didn’t care. Yeah, they were only 18, but there was something special in this group that nobody else had the privilege of feeling. As Jack always said, “when you’re with the right person, you just know.”
They had been home for a few weeks now and their reunion was coming to an all-too-soon end. Katie’s belongings were packed up to the ceiling of her dinky, white Ford Focus for her trip to Georgetown University in D.C. the next day. Maybe this was why Jack was being even more hyper and hilarious than usual, Katie thought. He didn’t want her to think about the next, looming goodbye.
“Trust me, I think I saw Alex’s bare, boney butt more times this summer than I saw him with pants on,” Jack was saying with a wicked grin.
“Sounds just lovely,” Katie responded sarcastically.
“You can only imagine.”
At that moment, both of their cell phones almost simultaneously started ringing on the table- a clash of “Almost Here” by The Academy Is... and “Saturday” by Fall Out Boy. The red light shining from the front of Katie’s flip-phone read: IRINNA.
“It’s ‘Rinna.”
“Yeah, Alex is calling me too. Huh. They must’ve just got done hanging out or something.”
At this point the barista was shooting daggers at the skinny-jean clad pair as their clashing ringtones filled the coffee shop.
Katie blushed a little, “I’ll grab this outside.”
“Same.”
The bell above the door dinged as Jack pulled it open and he and Katie stepped outside in opposite directions. Flipping her phone open and pressing it to her ear, Katie snuck a quick glimpse at her tall, crazy-thin, slightly-bearded boyfriend. Even to this day, that butterfly crush feeling never went away.
“Hello? What’s up, Irinna?”
“Where are you right now?” She asked quickly. Her voice sounded a little choked up.
“At Starbucks with Jack, why, what’s going on?”
“I’d rather tell you in person but I can’t wait that long,” Irinna said with a nervous frustration. “Promise you’re not going to yell.”
“You’re freaking me out right now...”
“Just promise.”
“Ok! Ok, I promise, now tell me.”
Katie heard the static in the background, like an old TV, volume low, left on snow. Irinna hesitated before forcing the words out of her body. “I’m pregnant.”
Katie could almost hear her heart hitting the bottom of her stomach. Everything else around her went still.
“Katie?” Irinna’s voice croaked. “Are you there?”
Katie had to lower herself and sit on the edge of the curb. The shock still wasn’t shaking off, the words still were being guarded out of her mind. Impossible. Pregnant? At 18? Her best friend? No. It wasn’t possible. It wasn’t true.
“Katie...” Irinna breathed. “I’m really scared.”
And there it was. No one in Katie’s life had ever sounded more vulnerable. Nothing had ever sounded so real.
“Are you sure...”
“Yes.”
“Is Alex...”
“Of course Alex is the father! Jeez Louise Katie!”
“Sorry! Sorry, I didn’t mean, I just, I... Pregnant.” She exhaled the last word as if someone had just punched her under the ribs.
“Have you told him?”
She sniffed. “A little while ago. He just went into the other room to call Jack.”
“Have you two discussed... You know... What to do?”
“We’re keeping it.” Irinna answered. “Alex agreed with me. He said that anything that contained a piece of him and a piece of me was too special and perfect to lose.”
Through Alex’s words Katie could hear a hint of a smile in her best friend’s voice. If this had to happen to anyone, thank goodness Irinna had Alex.
“Sounds like Alex to me, ‘Rin.” Katie said. “And he’s not going to be the only one there for you. You always have me. Jack too. You’re not alone.”
Irinna replied, “Thanks, Katie. That’s what I needed to hear.” There was a moment of grateful silence that followed, as Katie watched the streetlights flicker on down the block as the sun set on this suddenly monumental day. “Looks like Alex just finished up on the phone... I should probably go.”
“Ok, I’ll come over later tonight?”
“Sounds good. I’ll see you later.”
“I love you ‘Rin. And I already love this kid too.”
“Me too, girl. Me too.” Click.
Katie picked herself up off of the curb and turned back towards the door. Jack was already back inside, sitting in his spot with his hands folded around his coffee cup, his knee bouncing wildly under the table. Katie stepped inside, away from the humid night.
Wordlessly she retook her spot across from Jack, taking a deep breath in the process.
“Wow.” She sighed eventually. Jack’s expression was unreadable.
“This... Is... The... COOLEST NEWS EVER!”
That was unexpected, Katie thought. “Um, what?”
“A frickin’ kid! This is awesome!” Jack explained, that mischievous excitement filling his face now. “He is going to have the most wicked, awesome life ever!”
“But what about the band?”
“We’ll figure it out as we go,” Jack simply shrugged. “I mean, this child is going to have you and I as an uncle and aunt. It is going to be the best dressed, mostly musically talented, all around KICK ASS child that ever existed! I wonder if Alex would be cool with naming it Jack Junior...”
“You might be able to convince Alex, but good luck getting that one by Irinna.” Katie rolled her eyes. “Jack, what about all the BIG things? Like, money and school and work and everything that’s going to change?”
Jack gave Katie a knowing, loving look and reached his hand across the table to lean over hers. “Like I said, we’ll figure it out. Right now what Irinna and Alex need is support and positivity. That’s what we have to do for them. And really, what’s cooler than a baby?!”
Katie looked at her crazy, wonderful boyfriend with admiration. “How do you do it? Take everything around you and somehow turn it into the greatest thing there ever was?”
Again, Jack shrugged, and squeezed Katie’s hand. “It’s easy to get excited about what you love,” he said. “All you have to do is listen to your heart.”