I Think You Could Do Much Better Than Me

"Hey, you little shit, don't smoke all of that!"

I took a drag of the blunt James had rolled and handed it back to him. I French-rolled the smoke in my mouth and then released all the smoke with a laugh. "I wasn't going to smoke all of it. Calm your tits, Jamie."

"Psht, you say that every time and when I'm not looking, what do you do? You smoke--"

"Oh, shut your fucking mouth, James, and smoke the rest of that before I do it for you," I cut him off.

He gave me a look, but finished what was left of the blunt. "That wasn't even worth finishing," James coughed through the smoke.

"I think weed has an opposite effect on you. When you smoke, you just get grouchy and you bitch about me smoking all of the weed or you bitch about there not being enough weed," I laughed.

James sneered at me, "You're an asshole, Rose. I hope you know that."

"You only tell me that every time we smoke together," I laughed giving him a big Cheshire grin. He swatted at me, but missed as I jumped up from the couch.

I walked into James' kitchen. I grabbed some chips from his pantry and sat at the table as I snacked on his chips. My phone buzzed inside my short's pocket as I was eating. I fished it out with the hand I wasn't eating with.

"Hello?" I answered, expecting it to be Ryan.

"Hey, Rose," the person who wasn't Ryan said.

"Dad?" I asked.

"Yeah, it's me, I know you're wondering why I'm calling and I know you're probably busy, but I just wanted to talk to you for a little while," He told me.

I cleaned my hands off with a napkin before answering. "Okay, well, what was it that you wanted to talk about?" I asked trying not to sound too uninterested.

"Well, I know Christmas and your birthday are coming up soon. I'm coming to town in a few days and I just want to know if you would like to go do something together while I'm there. If you don't want to, that's fine; I understand, but I would really like to catch up with you."

It took every living cell in my body at that moment for me not to just burst out in hysterical laughter. My dad, the same asshole who had pretty much left me and my mom when I was a baby, was asking if I wanted to hang out with him. I stifled a laugh before saying, "I'm sorry, but are you serious? It never really seemed like you were concerned that much about me before."

My dad signed through the phone, "Rose, I'm so sorry. I really can't express how much of a jerk I am and I swear to you that I'll try to mend things as much as I can. We will even talk about anything you want to or about how you feel if you decide to come. I really want a better relationship with you. If you don't want to see me, I understand, but if you do, I'll be in town."

"I'll think about it," I told him. I wasn't about to get all worked up about this now and ruin my high.

"Okay. Please let me know by the end of the week if you want to meet up. Bye, Rose. I love you."

I disconnected the call after that. I didn't bother to say goodbye and I sure as hell wasn't about to say I loved that fucker. I wasn't close to my dad at all. He had never been a big part of my life. He was never there when I was younger, so I was confused by his decision to want to be a part of my life now.

My relationship with my mom wasn't much better. When I was younger we were closer, but after I turned 13 my mom found a good job that required her to travel all over the world. Our relationship went downhill after that.

I put James' chips back in the pantry and went back into the living room. James gave me a look.

"What?" I asked.

"What took you so long in the kitchen?" He asked still giving me a look.

"Um, I was on the phone," I told him.

"Before you got on the phone I heard you open my pantry and I heard you open something. You ate my chips, didn't you?" He said raising an eyebrow.

"Holy fuck, dude. I didn't eat all of your chips, okay."

"You probably ate the whole bag and then put the empty bag back in the pantry," He said.
I rolled my eyes and walked toward the door, "I'm going home since you're being a grouchy little bitch. I'll see you later."

James said something as I walked out of the door, but I didn't bother to see what he had said.
I really wasn't in the mood to go back home and I wasn't about to hang out with James' grumpy ass. I also didn't want to bother Ryan. We hung out almost every day and having space sometimes is a good thing.

I wandered beneath the golden street lights that had just recently come on. As I walked I lost myself in my thoughts. Lately my mind had been on Ryan a lot. Although we had just started dating, we learned a lot more about each other. I learned that Ryan had the best grades at our high school and that he would be valedictorian of our class. I learned that through him ranting about some really big science project he had to do.

Honestly, I felt like Ryan was downgrading by dating me. He had so many things going for him and I really had nothing going for me except drawing and I wasn't sure if that would work out with my grades. If I graduated with the rest of my class it would really be a big surprise to me. My GPA was probably the worst in the whole school.

I felt like such a dumbass compared to Ryan. He had straight A's and my grades were all D's. In art I earned an A, because I actually put time and effort into my art. I never really cared much about any of my other classes.

I had known Ryan for a little over a month and yet I felt like I had known him for years. We talked to each other like we were best friends and I loved that. We had pretty much become best friends in the last month or that’s how I thought of it.

Before I knew it, I found myself at the old, abandoned pier I found a few years ago. I hadn’t been here in almost a year. I walked along the old warn out boards carefully and they creaked beneath my feet. I smiled when I reach the end of the pier. I shook the railing some to see if it was still sturdy like it had been last time I was here. Sure enough it was. I pulled out the cigarettes in my pocket and lit one. I leaned against the railing and enjoyed my cigarette. I couldn’t help, but to smile to myself. This place was the perfect escape from everything and I wasn’t going to leave anytime soon.