I Think You Could Do Much Better Than Me

“You’ll have to wait to find that out,” Ryan told me.

“Why can’t you just tell me now?” I whined.

He laughed, “Because it’s a surprise and telling you would ruin it.”

I pouted, but didn’t press it further. The leafy green trees passed by in a blur. I stared out the window just soaking up the beauty of the scenery. The dew on the trees glistened as the moon shined on the forest. I let myself get lost in the beauty of everything we were passing by.

I didn’t even notice when Ryan had parked the car until his thumb ran over the back of my hand taking me out of my trance. “We’re here darling.”

Ryan opened my door for me and held my hand immediately after I had gotten out of the car. He walked us to the trunk of his car and got a big blanket out. He shut the trunk and threw the blanket over his shoulder.

“It’s about a five minute walk to the place where we are going. I can carry you if you don’t want to walk,” He told me.

“I can walk,” I stated as I squeezed his hand.

We walked along a narrow path that weaved itself through the woods. Both of us could still fit on the path though. Ryan let go of my hand only to wrap his arm around my waist and pull me closer to him as we walked. It was starting to warm up and I knew it was almost time for day break.

The pathway opened up into what looked to be a small private beach area. There was a small beach house that stood tall. All the lights were off except for a few on the outside. I gave Ryan a skeptical look. “Whose place is this?”

“My parents’,” He said simply.

“What else do you own?” I asked.

“This place, my house, and a couple of houses on the west coast.”

“Wow,” I said in awe.

“What?” He asked as he walked us toward the house.

I shrugged, “Your parents have a lot of money.”

He gave a slight laugh. “They do, but I barely ever see any of it, so it really doesn’t matter to me. Yeah, I have credit cards, but I’m only allowed to spend so much on them. The money my family has doesn’t mean anything to me.” I left the conversation to that for now. I didn’t want to ruin anything.

Ryan let go of my hand and laid the blanket on the sand next to the house. Ryan laid down and pulled me down onto him. We could see the ocean and the now rising sun. I now realized why Ryan had brought me out here. He knew how much I loved the sky. I looked up at him with a smile. He grinned back and kissed my forehead.

“You’re missing the sunrise by staring at me, Rose,” Ryan told me.

I gave a slight laugh and looked back to the sun rising. It looked gorgeous against the water. The sun’s rays turned the sky peach and coral. The water was a slight golden color. As the sun rose more the sky slowly became more and more turquoise.

My vision would probably suffer from staring at the huge ball of flames, but at this moment in time, I couldn’t care less. The beauty of it all made it hard to turn my head away; although, I did when I felt Ryan shuffle under me.

“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” Ryan said, still admiring the sun rising.

“Beautiful is honestly an understatement,” I told him turning my attention back to the sun.

He wrapped his arms around me tightly and placed delicate kisses in my hair. “I just thought I would stop here and show you something pretty since you missed the stars when you were sleeping. I knew you were tired so I didn’t wake you.”

The sun was beginning to hurt my eyes hence I put my head into the crook of Ryan’s neck, hiding my eyes from the sun. “Thanks for bringing me here,” I whispered into his skin.

“It’s really no problem,” He said rubbing circles into my back. “I know how much you like stuff like this.”

“You know me a bit too well,” I chuckled.

He continued to trace small circles on my back. “Well, everything about you is amazing and I like knowing every little thing about you.”

I smiled into his neck. “You think too highly of me.”

“Why shouldn’t I? You’re beautiful and talented, so why wouldn’t I think that of you?” He told me.

I frowned. “Well I do drugs, so…”

Ryan sighed, “That has nothing to do with what I think about you. I will always think you are wonderful no matter what you do. Hell, you could murder someone, Rose, and I would still think you were perfect in every single way. You know I don’t like that you do drugs, but I’ll never make you stop. If it makes you happy then I’m fine with it.”

“You don’t mean that,” I said quietly. There was no way in hell that he meant what he was saying.

“I meant every word,” Ryan said. “I care so much about you, Rose. I care about you more than I’ve ever cared about anyone else and I wouldn’t want to lose you for anything in the world.”

I sat up and crossed my legs beside him. I looked back to the sun and stared at it still ascending in the air. I thought about how the sun wasn’t moving and how the earth’s rotation made it seem like the sun was rising or setting. I wasn’t sure why I thought of that at this particular moment in time. I guess I was just trying to take my mind off of what was said.

After a great deal of silence I decided I would say something. “You know,” I said, “I really feel different now that I’m with you. It’s not a bad different either. It’s the kind of different that makes you want to change and be a better person. You’re so understanding and caring toward me and I’ve never really had that. I guess what I’m trying to say is… I love you.”

I mumbled the last part and kept my gaze on the ocean. I felt Ryan shift beside me and in my peripheral vision I saw him sit next to me.

“Well, Rose, I love you too.” I let myself look away from the ocean and the sun. I turned my attention to Ryan who was already looking at me with a smug smile. His chocolate orbs stared into my sea colored ones. He held both of my hands and lightly rubbed his thumb over the back of my hands. He leaned quickly and kissed me. It was a short kiss, but it meant a lot. Ryan Henderson meant every word he said and so did I.