"Baby, My Name's Alex."

Alex

I watched her walk out the door. I was terrified that that would be the last time I saw her. I sighed as I walked to the picture smashed on the floor and started picking up the shattered pieces. I threw them away and looked at the picture. I felt a knot in my stomach and tore it up. I threw that away too.

at that moment, I stood up and looked in the mirror I had next to the door. I only looked for a few seconds because I was ashamed of what I saw. why did I let Lisa dig her claws into me again? she had hurt me more than I had hurt Liz, I knew that for sure. yeah I had done more things in the past two days to hurt her but Lisa hurt me over and over since high school. 

I knew exactly what I had to do. I walked around my house and got rid of anything that was related to Lisa or anything that reminded me of her. I threw every picture of her in the fireplace. I threw out anything she had ever given me that I hadn't returned to her yet. I completely removed Lisa from my house.

I ran up to my room and tore it apart. I found every letter we wrote to each other. I found the guitar pick she gave me the first time she visited me in Baltimore. then I came upon the receipt I kept from the night we met. I framed it and put it next to my bed. I checked every other room upstairs.

I finally reached the room where Liz was staying. I took a deep breath and opened the door slowly. her bed wasn't made and her clothes were all over the place. I walked closer to her bed and saw the notebook she gave me. she had ripped out all the pages and had ten spread across her bed. I looked through them and took my favorites. then I saw one page I didn't recognize. I looked and it was the note I had written in her notebook. on the back was her handwriting.

"Dear Alex,
I read every comment you had written on every song written in here. I fan-girled a few times because Alexander William Gaskarth had read my songs. your comments have actually made the songs a lot better. I can't wait to start writing with you :)
well about five minutes ago you asked me to be your girlfriend. IT TOOK YOU LONG ENOUGH! if you didn't ask me soon, I would've gone for Jack... just kidding. we both know I would lose my mind. but when I said I loved you Alex, I meant it with all my heart. you have made me insanely happy these past few months and I'm happy that I get to see you even more now that I'm moving to Baltimore with you.
and now you're sneaking up on me so I'm gonna stop writing.
I love you.
forever yours,
Liz"

maybe I had hurt her more than I realized. all I could think of was liz's face when Lisa said I loved her. I remembered how it dropped. I got the knot in my stomach again. I had to see her before tomorrow morning.

I grabbed the note and taped it to the fridge then walked to my car. I drove as fast as I could to Rian's without getting pulled over. I got out and had all the confidence in the world... until I got to the front door. I stood there not knowing what I would I say. I hit the doorbell and waited for it to open.

"what are you doing here man?" Rian asked and sounded stressed.
"I need to see her. I have to talk to her." I begged.
"she's in the bathroom dying her hair with Cassadee."
"she's what?" I was so confused.

"Ri who is it?" Cassadee yelled from upstairs. 
"uhh... one of the guys. is Liz done with her hair?"
"Yeah she's blowing it dry right now. it looks awesome!" she sounded excited as I heard the hair dryer start. 
"why is she dying it?" I asked.
"she said she wants a fresh start. Cass cut it a little too." Rian said. I nodded and sat on his couch.
"I fucked up Rian." I admitted. "if I lose her, I'll lose my mind at the same time. she's the best thing that has ever happened to me besides the band. I love the way she grabs onto my arm when we walk, I love when her hair falls in her face, I love when she smiles when I say her name, and I love how she thinks I don't see all the times she smiles and the faces she makes when I say something stupid."
I looked up at Rian and saw Liz standing next to him. Her hair was more red now and shorter. it looked amazing.

"why are you here already?" she whispered.
"I fucked up Liz. I fucked up huge. I was confused but all this experience has showed me was that I'm crazy about you. and I love you." I walked over to her and kissed her.