Whoever She May Be

one month later

The day was early but really the night was late. The clock hanging on the blank wall read 4:30 and I was up and alert. I had not even gone to bed, packing all night for my plane that left once the sun rose at 5:30. I was exhausted, probably a mess and my mind was a little fuzzy but I kept on moving, moving until I was there. I had been thinking about this day since that night at the plaza, counting down the days. It was finally here and I was so happy.

I threw my bags on my back and stumbled out of my now empty room, hitting the walls of the hallway along the way. As the halls opened into the pristine living room of the pent house, I looked up to see my family grouped on the couch much to my surprise. I dropped my bags and stared at them as they stood up. Kelly stared at her fingernails with her other hand on her hip as her mother stared at me with tears in her eyes and a sad smile on her face. Her house heals hit the tile with a clank as she pulled me to her kissing each of my cheeks.

“I’ll miss you Honey.” Kim said
I genuinely smiled at her the skin next to my eyes wrinkling. I pulled her to me in a hug wrapping my arms around her skinny waist.

Kelly stepped past her mom as Kim moved back to my father’s side and stood perfectly straight right in front of me. Her bright blue eyes stared down at me from her natural height of 5’10. Her perfect face was blank as her words fell out of her lips “Who am I going to complain to now?” She said before breaking down into a fit of giggles.
I cracked a smile as she pulled me into a hug.

My father took my arm, grabbing one of my bags. I staggered to get the rest of my bags as he lead me to the elevator. He set my bag in the a waiting elevator and faced me. Across his usually stern face was a flash of hurt and sadness. He flinched and pulled me into his suit pressing a button into my cheek.

“Are you sure you want to go?” He mumbled into my hair.
“Yes father.” I said into his chest with out missing a beat.
“Okay.” He said moving the rest of my bags into the elevator. “Be safe. I’ll see you in September.”

I nodded and stepped into the elevator starring at his back as he walked away. The elevator door stared to slip closed just as my father turned on his heal. “Samantha, I Lo--” The doors closed before his sentence ended.

I sighed leaning against the back of the elevator. I watched the lights flash, changing from one into another until the letter L flashed across the screen. I managed to make it out of the elevator and then out of the lobby into the madness of New York. I set my bags down for the mere seconds I could before the doorman called a taxi for me, as a taxi slammed into the curb, the doorman carried my bags into the trunk and gave me a farewell hug before I climbed into the back of the car.

I stared at the back of the cabbies head as he pulled into the early morning traffic. He looked at me in the rearview mirror asking me where to.
“JFK airport.” I said watching as he nodded.

&&

Arizona was like a different world to me. It was dry heat, it was dirty but dirty as in there dirt everywhere, it was sunny, it was colorful and it was beautiful, but beautiful in a different sense than New York. Arizona was where my grandmother lived, my grandmother that’s was the mother of my mom.

When I was seven, my mom had died and during the entire funeral it had been my grandmother that had held my hand and held me while I cried. As my dad tried to pull me away my grandmother bent down and gave me a hug, whispering into my ear, “You can come visit me anytime.” I gripped her harder, starting to cry.

The plane had hit the Arizona ground and I was nothing but tired, still tired even after my short lived nap in both the cab and the plane. But I was not too tired to jump into my grandmothers arms the moment I saw her. She was adorable and amazing, The old woman stood at 5’2 an inch shorter than me, she has short red graying hair that had been huddled up into a bun, and she didn’t look a little over fifty and I could see hints of my mother in her face. She looked exactly like I remembered her.

“This can not be little Sammy Roswe.” She said with a large smile leading me out of the airport laying her hand on the top of my head. I turned and smiled at her, hiding all the pain of having to carry all my bags in one hand.

“Well it has been 12 years, people grow up.” I said turning to face her as we made it to her car.

“Well I don’t think you’ve grown up at all.” She said helping me put my bags into her back seat.

I smiled at her moving around the car into the front seat. We drove in silence in the short distance that it took to make it to her cottage like house. The silence that was actually filled with a little murmur of the music. I looked over at my grandmother as she drove listening closer to song that filled the car. She caught the corner of my eye, smirking at me. She moved her hand and turned the radio up the sweet melody of the music.

“It’s these boys I know. The lead singer and his family live next door to me. I think you would quite like them, they’re a lovely bunch for being teenage boys.“ My grandmother said causing me to chuckle.

At that moment my grandmother yanked the car into a neighborhood lined with houses, that all looked the same yet at the same time different. Along the street were two stories homes with white lining, fresh green lawns dotted with lovely flowers. They had porches with matching wooden doors and windows hiding the inside of the home with curtains. As every house looked the same they were all painted different colors giving each house a silly feeling as you passed them. Grandma turned into the drive way of pastel yellow house that could be described as nothing other than cheery. 

I stepped out of her car, stretching my arms and legs with a yawn. 
"I hope you feel at home here." My grandmother said meeting me at the back seat of her. She grabbed one bag and walked away leaving me to just nod. I sighed looking at the closet houses before grabbing the rest of my bags.

As I looked around the neighborhood. I saw family's with kids everywhere. From the mom with the baby across the street to the two elementary students playing on the lawn next to ours to the group of young men sitting on the porch playing guitar and singing. This was a community, something I was found foreign.

I looked back over at the boys as I moved back to grab a bag. The many looked up from the ginger playing guitar and looked over at me with matching smiles. I smiled back grabbing all of my bags in one motion and ran into the house where my grandmother had been waiting.

She lead me down the main hall towards the back of the house. "This was the guest room, I didn't think you would want to stay in your mom's room." she said as she opened the door to an aqua blue room with matching sky bed sheets. 

"it's awesome grandma." I said with a wide smile. 
She smiled back at me wrapping me in another hug. 
"I really do hope you feel at home here." she paused as she brushed some hair away from me face. "While you’re here I want you to have fun and have friends, have adventures. While you’re here Sam, I want you to make mistakes and find yourself.”

I smiled at her, in that moment she proved everything I had been thinking about for the past month, leaving is what I needed to do.