Near to You
| stealing elsie |
When I was a little girl, I would sit in my bedroom, with books surrounding me, books of life-changers, and heroes, of courageous lovers and cowardly heartbreakers, and in that bedroom which was decorated with floral wallpaper and family photographs, I wondered what made them different to me. Did they have something about them, something in their genetic make-up which made them better than me, or stronger than me? This troubled me for quite some time, and when I told my mother these troubles, she simply smiled at my briefly and told me the next phrase which shaped my perception of society for the rest of my life.
“Elsie, a person never knows how strong they are, until that is the only choice they have left, and there are going to be people in your life who tell you otherwise and try to push you down, but you must always remember, being strong is like being a lady, it’s something that you have inside of you but only you can make it come out.” I never forgot that conversation with my mother, or the fact that, despite how hard I thought about it, I could never seem to make sense of the statement entirely.
But then again, the things that happened in my life, never seemed to make that much sense to me. I was a happy girl though, everyone had always mentioned it, there was nothing about my life to make me upset, it wasn’t perfect and there was definitely times when I wished that my parents weren’t who they were but I was happy. I went from a happy child, to a happy pre-teen, to the ‘happy, bubbly and go-lucky’ nineteen year old I was at this point in time, I had good social status, good friends and a wonderful family to keep me happy, but there was something missing, something that wasn’t quite there.
I wanted an adventure; some sort of exhilaration and excitement, away from the high stone walls and constant surveillance which had surrounded my life for as long as I could remember. My father was an incredibly influential person, and as such, had done things which were in the best interest of the welfare of his family. He wasn't an awful person but his treatment of different people had been of a less than pleasant nature.
The moment that when this all caught up to them was not the day I expected to change my life forever. My mother always had said that it was moments like these, that you knew would stick with you for the rest of your life, and change every aspect of who you were – for the better. Well let me tell you, changing your entire being is not easy in five inch heels and a bridesmaids dress.
---
It was the eighth of April 1939, and Annalisa Darlington, had just become Annalisa Irwin. It wasn't exactly uncommon for a lady of her social status to be wed at such a young age, but considering her suffragette tendencies, it was certainly unexpected. Ashton was good for her though, he made her infinitely happy, and he had always taken care of her, always been there for her and I couldn't have thought of a more elated couple.
Regardless though, after ensuring that I wouldn't be spotted, I had made a break for the bathroom and barricaded myself away from the watchful eyes and stares of the high class society that surrounded my parents world; one which I had fought against, yet never been able to escape. All the noise seemed to have vanished when I was finally prepared to rejoin the festivities, I could only assume it was due to someone making a toast; thus meaning that my absence was about to be made painfully obvious to everyone awaited my own speech. However it was a speech which would never be heard. The moment I stepped out of the bathroom, a hand closed around my mouth and pulled me against a hard chest; I struggled against them, trying to get out of their grip and failing.
“Relax, sweetheart, the only way that you’re getting hurt, is if you run away from me right now and go back to that reception – because no one is getting out, I assure you.” My eyes widened in fear, everyone who I cared about was in that room; my parents, my cousins, and Annie.
“Please, please don’t hurt her, don’t hurt Annie, I’ll do whatever you want but don’t hurt her” I pleaded tearfully, stopping my struggle momentarily as the man behind me tightened his grip on my wrists, the barrel of a rifle pressed again the base of my spine. He harshly pushed me forwards after a second, leading me back towards the reception; one of two things was about to happen, either he was going to take me and let the others go, or he was going to make me watch while people were killed in a manner similar to the way in which the Czar and his family had been executed.
His hand was tightly clasped over my mouth as he whispered in my ear, “not a word, Czarina.”
The sight before me caused my heart to falter, an uncomfortable tightening in my chest. I could clearly see my mother and father huddled together with Annie and Ashton, surrounded by the fallen bodies of my father's guards. My captor was trying to lead me out unnoticeably, but my mother caught sight of me.
“Release her at once, she has nothing to do with this!” my father's voice boomed through the uncharacteristically silent ballroom, although the faintest hint of a waver could be heard in his tone; something I was unfamiliar with. I knew that my father's business had always put us in danger, but what had his faulty manoeuvres set for us this time?
“This wasn't part of the deal! Release her!” His shouts took on a slightly more frantic tone as the barrel of the gun shifted from the base of my spine to the hollow of my throat; causing my breath to hitch.
“You know the rules, Dashkov! You practically wrote them! How many times have you found yourself in our position? And not once did you ever show mercy! Think of how many girls just like your daughter have been sacrificed due to your foul deeds!” The figure at the front screamed, pointing his gun at my parents heads.
My body began shaking uncontrollably, no matter what he had done, they couldn't all die because of him; it wasn't fair. The man behind me tightened his grip on me and leant his head down to whisper in my ear, his hot breath washing over my skin and making me shiver violently. I wanted to scream at myself and cry; I knew what happened to victims of the Red Army once they had been captured. I should’ve been trying to escape; but I couldn’t do it, I couldn't even bring myself to move.
I couldn't help but notice the way that Annie and Ashton's eyes kept flickering between each other before flitting back to the man with his hand wrapped around my mouth before moving to me, Annie turning away and collapsing into his arms. “Come on, Boss, we’ve got the princess; just think about how much it will destroy him to know that he couldn’t save the darling Czarina from us, and besides, look at what a pretty little thing she is” the man behind me said, dragging his nose in a line from the shell of my ear to edge of my shoulder, leaving vicious goose bumps in its wake. I didn’t understand, I wasn’t supposed to feel like this.
I cringed away from him and his grip tightened again, pulling me backwards, a sharp pain shooting up my spine. “I suppose so, any last words, Dashkov? After all, who knows if you’ll see your little princess again?” the man in front, whom I supposed was the leader, cackled cruelly. I hated him, I hated him with every fibre of my being; my father might have been a vindictive and violent man but he had done everything to provide for my mother and our family.
“I’ll be okay, I promise. I love you.” I managed to force out before a hand was tightly clasped around my mouth again, forcing me back against the hard chest of my captor. Before I knew it, I was being hauled out of the ballroom and thrown into the back of a large black truck and my captor was tying my wrists behind my back tightly.
For the first time, I got a good look at the face of the man who was kidnapping me and I was instantly taken aback by the sharp blue eyes and the blonde hair which was tucked under a grey beanie. I knew him from somewhere I just didn't know where.
"Hemmings! Are you done or not?!"
And then I was plunged into darkness.
“Elsie, a person never knows how strong they are, until that is the only choice they have left, and there are going to be people in your life who tell you otherwise and try to push you down, but you must always remember, being strong is like being a lady, it’s something that you have inside of you but only you can make it come out.” I never forgot that conversation with my mother, or the fact that, despite how hard I thought about it, I could never seem to make sense of the statement entirely.
But then again, the things that happened in my life, never seemed to make that much sense to me. I was a happy girl though, everyone had always mentioned it, there was nothing about my life to make me upset, it wasn’t perfect and there was definitely times when I wished that my parents weren’t who they were but I was happy. I went from a happy child, to a happy pre-teen, to the ‘happy, bubbly and go-lucky’ nineteen year old I was at this point in time, I had good social status, good friends and a wonderful family to keep me happy, but there was something missing, something that wasn’t quite there.
I wanted an adventure; some sort of exhilaration and excitement, away from the high stone walls and constant surveillance which had surrounded my life for as long as I could remember. My father was an incredibly influential person, and as such, had done things which were in the best interest of the welfare of his family. He wasn't an awful person but his treatment of different people had been of a less than pleasant nature.
The moment that when this all caught up to them was not the day I expected to change my life forever. My mother always had said that it was moments like these, that you knew would stick with you for the rest of your life, and change every aspect of who you were – for the better. Well let me tell you, changing your entire being is not easy in five inch heels and a bridesmaids dress.
---
It was the eighth of April 1939, and Annalisa Darlington, had just become Annalisa Irwin. It wasn't exactly uncommon for a lady of her social status to be wed at such a young age, but considering her suffragette tendencies, it was certainly unexpected. Ashton was good for her though, he made her infinitely happy, and he had always taken care of her, always been there for her and I couldn't have thought of a more elated couple.
Regardless though, after ensuring that I wouldn't be spotted, I had made a break for the bathroom and barricaded myself away from the watchful eyes and stares of the high class society that surrounded my parents world; one which I had fought against, yet never been able to escape. All the noise seemed to have vanished when I was finally prepared to rejoin the festivities, I could only assume it was due to someone making a toast; thus meaning that my absence was about to be made painfully obvious to everyone awaited my own speech. However it was a speech which would never be heard. The moment I stepped out of the bathroom, a hand closed around my mouth and pulled me against a hard chest; I struggled against them, trying to get out of their grip and failing.
“Relax, sweetheart, the only way that you’re getting hurt, is if you run away from me right now and go back to that reception – because no one is getting out, I assure you.” My eyes widened in fear, everyone who I cared about was in that room; my parents, my cousins, and Annie.
“Please, please don’t hurt her, don’t hurt Annie, I’ll do whatever you want but don’t hurt her” I pleaded tearfully, stopping my struggle momentarily as the man behind me tightened his grip on my wrists, the barrel of a rifle pressed again the base of my spine. He harshly pushed me forwards after a second, leading me back towards the reception; one of two things was about to happen, either he was going to take me and let the others go, or he was going to make me watch while people were killed in a manner similar to the way in which the Czar and his family had been executed.
His hand was tightly clasped over my mouth as he whispered in my ear, “not a word, Czarina.”
The sight before me caused my heart to falter, an uncomfortable tightening in my chest. I could clearly see my mother and father huddled together with Annie and Ashton, surrounded by the fallen bodies of my father's guards. My captor was trying to lead me out unnoticeably, but my mother caught sight of me.
“Release her at once, she has nothing to do with this!” my father's voice boomed through the uncharacteristically silent ballroom, although the faintest hint of a waver could be heard in his tone; something I was unfamiliar with. I knew that my father's business had always put us in danger, but what had his faulty manoeuvres set for us this time?
“This wasn't part of the deal! Release her!” His shouts took on a slightly more frantic tone as the barrel of the gun shifted from the base of my spine to the hollow of my throat; causing my breath to hitch.
“You know the rules, Dashkov! You practically wrote them! How many times have you found yourself in our position? And not once did you ever show mercy! Think of how many girls just like your daughter have been sacrificed due to your foul deeds!” The figure at the front screamed, pointing his gun at my parents heads.
My body began shaking uncontrollably, no matter what he had done, they couldn't all die because of him; it wasn't fair. The man behind me tightened his grip on me and leant his head down to whisper in my ear, his hot breath washing over my skin and making me shiver violently. I wanted to scream at myself and cry; I knew what happened to victims of the Red Army once they had been captured. I should’ve been trying to escape; but I couldn’t do it, I couldn't even bring myself to move.
I couldn't help but notice the way that Annie and Ashton's eyes kept flickering between each other before flitting back to the man with his hand wrapped around my mouth before moving to me, Annie turning away and collapsing into his arms. “Come on, Boss, we’ve got the princess; just think about how much it will destroy him to know that he couldn’t save the darling Czarina from us, and besides, look at what a pretty little thing she is” the man behind me said, dragging his nose in a line from the shell of my ear to edge of my shoulder, leaving vicious goose bumps in its wake. I didn’t understand, I wasn’t supposed to feel like this.
I cringed away from him and his grip tightened again, pulling me backwards, a sharp pain shooting up my spine. “I suppose so, any last words, Dashkov? After all, who knows if you’ll see your little princess again?” the man in front, whom I supposed was the leader, cackled cruelly. I hated him, I hated him with every fibre of my being; my father might have been a vindictive and violent man but he had done everything to provide for my mother and our family.
“I’ll be okay, I promise. I love you.” I managed to force out before a hand was tightly clasped around my mouth again, forcing me back against the hard chest of my captor. Before I knew it, I was being hauled out of the ballroom and thrown into the back of a large black truck and my captor was tying my wrists behind my back tightly.
For the first time, I got a good look at the face of the man who was kidnapping me and I was instantly taken aback by the sharp blue eyes and the blonde hair which was tucked under a grey beanie. I knew him from somewhere I just didn't know where.
"Hemmings! Are you done or not?!"
And then I was plunged into darkness.