Please Don't Leave Me
Story
Louis woke up, smiling to himself. Everything from last night came flashing back. He and Harry finally made love. He looks over to where Harry fell asleep to see an empty bed. He slowly gets up, pulling on his underwear and chinos he wore last night then walks out to the hall and straight into Harry’s room. He smiles as soon as he sees the curly haired boy, but it disappears as soon as he sees the suitcase on the floor.
“W-where are you going Harry?” Louis says, voice still raspy from all the screaming he did the night before.
“I’m sorry Louis, I can’t do this anymore. We’re constantly fighting and under stress from the media. I just- I’m sorry but I have to leave. I think,” He stops and looks at Louis in the eyes, leaning down to peck his lips before taking a few steps towards the door. “I think we have to end this… whatever it is between us, it has to end. I love you Louis, I really do but I can’t keep living like this.” He grabs his suitcase and looks to Louis, “I’m sorry.”
Tears spring to Louis’ eyes. “No! Harry, you can’t. Please, I love you, I don’t want you to leave.” He steps towards Harry and he feels his heart break as Harry steps back.
“I am sorry Louis. I just want my life to go back to the way it was.” He reaches out and touches Louis’ cheek before walking out of their bedroom.
Louis follows Harry, tears falling down his face, “Please, Harry! I can fix whatever has gone wrong! I’ll do anything. You’re all I have!” They’re at the front door by now.
Harry ignores his pleas, “I already told the boys. I guess I might see you around.” He opens the door slightly but Louis slams it closed again and presses Harry against it, kissing him roughly.
“Don’t leave me.” He presses his lips back against Harry and for a second the younger boy is returning the pressure. Then he pushes against Louis chest, turning around and opening the door.
“I’m going. I’m sorry.” He takes a step out the door and Louis grabs onto his wrist.
“I’ll do anything for you to stay! You’re the love of my life, please stay!”
“Bye Louis.” He walks out the door, shaking off Louis’ hold.
As soon as he is gone, Louis slides to the floor, leaning against the wall then hitting it repeatedly. “Harry...” He whispers, the pain he’s feeling, evident on his face.
~*~
“Louis, mate. You have to get out of the house one day. I know it’s only been a week since he left but you have to live your life.” Liam says, looking at Louis who is curled up on the sofa in Harry’s favourite fluffy blue blanket, eating ice-cream from the tub.
“I can’t.” Is all he says. “I have a killer headache. I’m going to take some pills.” Louis gets up from his chair, and walks into the kitchen, placing the ice cream back into the freezer. He grabs the pills out of the cupboard, screws the lid open and takes out two pills, swallowing them without water. Thoughts cross his mind about what would happen if he took a few more… he takes out two more, swallowing them too. His hand starts shaking in anticipation. Can he do it? He shook a handful of the painkillers into his hand… he thinks he can…
“Louis,” Liam says behind him, making him jump, the pills flew everywhere. “How many of those did you take?!” He asks, hysterical.
“N-none yet... w-why?” The older boy lies, kneeling down to sweep up the little white tablets from the floor with his hands.
“Don’t lie. I saw you take them.” Liam says, crossing his arms over his chest, the ‘daddy direction’ title seeming more real than ever.
“I only took two.” He lied again, frowning at the floor. Liam’s eyebrows furrowed, obviously not believing him then sighs and kneels down to help Louis clean up.
“Louis, please don’t do anything stupid.” Liam throws the last of the ruined pills into the bin and turns back to Louis, “We don’t want to lose you too.”
“I won’t…” Louis whispers, putting the pill container back in the cupboard and walking to his room.
~*~
Louis is in the kitchen, cleaning the dishes. It seems as if he has nothing better to do these days, and for some reason the kitchen is the place he feels closest to Harry- other than the bedroom that is. Louis almost smiles thinking about it. Almost. Without looking, he reaches out for something else to clean. His fingers come in contact with something metallic, he tightens his fingers around it but curses and drops it when it slices into his flesh.
He looks down to where he dropped it to see the knife Liam used to make dinner last night, his blood on the blade. He leans down to pick up the knife, looking at it curiously. His fingers are throbbing where his skin had been sliced. Slowly, he brings the knife back to his skin, gasping as the blade cuts into his palm.
“You alright mate?” Niall asks walking over to join Louis at the sink. His eyes widen at the sight of the blood, “Louis! What are you doing with that knife?!”
“Um… I accidently cut myself.”
Niall grasped his hand and pulled it under the sink, “Twice?!” He asks, turning the tap on to clean the blood away from Louis’ hand.
Louis gasps as the water runs into his injuries, “Y-yeah…”
“That’s complete bullshit.” Niall says, turning off the water and pulling Louis over to the counter, the pulls a first aid kit out of a cupboard. “Why are you doing this to yourself, Louis? I don’t like it.”
“I’m sorry.” Louis sighs as Niall bandages up his hand.
“I’ll do the rest of the dishes, you go to bed, you look tired.”
“Fine.”
~*~
Louis wakes up in the middle of the night, sweating. He had a nightmare. Shaken, he gets up from bed and walks to the kitchen to grab a glass of water but ends up downing three glasses, almost falling asleep at the sink. He hears his stomach rumble and decides to make an omelette. Gathering all the ingredients he turns on the gas, yawning, then picks up a tomato to cut it. He accidently drops it and leans down to pick it up but hits his head hard on the bench and blacks out, falling to the floor in a heap.
~
“Louis! Louis, wake up!” are the next words he hears. He opens his eyes to see Zayn kneeling above him and shaking him lightly. “Louis, are you okay? Why did you leave the gas on? Are you trying to gas the whole house?”
Louis groans, “I’m sorry. I hit my head.”
“I know, I can see that. Come on, let’s get you to bed.”
~*~
Louis sighs happily as the wind blows his hair in all directions, but mostly into his face. He doesn’t care. He grips the window sill as he puts one leg out the window, resting it on the little ledge underneath it, doing the same with the other. He sits on the window sill, loving the slight breeze, cooling down his heated skin. He watches as the people walk around on the street, he sees a familiar curly mop of hair and almost falls out the window with excitement, but the person turns around and it’s not the boy he has been almost literally dying to see for three months.
“Louis…” He hears someone say behind him, “W-what are you doing at the window?” The voice is slow and calm, he can tell it’s Liam now.
“Nothing, just thinking.”
“Whatever you’re thinking about, please don’t do anything you’ll regret. Just- here, let us help you.” He feels two pairs of hands taking hold of his arms and pulling him away from the window. He lets them. He stands up and turns around to see Niall standing beside Liam, looking concerned. He just stands in front of them, watching them.
“Louis…” Niall begins, as Liam walks to the window and closes it, “We’re really worried about you and… well, we um…”
“We think,” Louis takes over for Niall, “you need to see someone… a doctor. D-do you think you would do that for us?”
Louis just stares at him blankly then, “What the fuck. I don’t need to see a doctor, what the bloody hell are you talking about?!” He walks away from them, towards the stairs, “I’m fine lads. Calm down about it.”
~*~
Louis strips off his clothes and sticks a foot in the boiling water, gasping at just how hot it is. He puts the other foot in and slides into the water. The steam clears his head of all the crap that has happened in the past three months. He misses Harry more and more each day. It gets worse and worse. Almost everything reminds him of the curly haired beauty. He lays back I the bath, letting it engulf him, only leaving his head above the water to let him breath.
~
Harry hesitantly knocks on the door to his and- well just Louis’ apartment now. He is surprised when Liam answers the door instead of Louis. He is even more surprised when the older boy throws his arms around him and starts crying. Harry starts crying too.
“Please tell me you’re staying.” He says, “You can’t leave us again, you can’t leave Louis again. He has been of the rails!”
“Has he been drinking?”
“Not a drop since you left. Just other things like-”
“Who is it?” Niall calls out. Liam lets go of Harry and pulls him in the door. Zayn and Niall’s eyes widen at the sight of the youngest standing in front of them.
“Hi.” Harry says, looking down. He is embarrassed by what he did. Running away from his problems instead of dealing with them.
Niall and Zayn both get up and wrap their arms around him, “God, Harry I missed you!” Niall says, gripping Harry tighter than he has ever held anyone. Zayn pulls away from Harry, frowning at him.
“What?” Harry asks, Zayn’s response is to punch him in the arm, hard. “Ow! What was that for?!”
“You have no idea what you put us through! Louis has been so… depressed. I can’t even begin to explain it.”
“I- I thought he would be better off without me…” Harry mumbles.
“You have never been more wrong, Styles. Go and see him now!” Liam says, pushing Harry up the stairs a little.
“Okay.” Harry walks towards the bedroom, so ready to see his boyfri- just friend now, he corrected himself. Harry told Louis they had to end it. He hopes Louis hasn’t found someone new yet... although he wouldn’t blame him if he had. He opens the door to find it Louisless. It looks just like it had when he left, though. For that he is happy. He walks out of the bedroom and down the hall to the bathroom. He knocks on the bathroom door, there’s no answer.
“Louis? Baby, I’m home. Sorry I left, it was silly.” He opens the door to see Louis in the bath… completely under water… not breathing. “Louis!” Harry rushes to the bath and steps inside, gently lifting Louis’ head out of the water.
“Liam! Niall!” Harry puts his fingers to the side of Louis’ neck to feel his pulse. Its still there… but weak, “Zayn!” He pulls Louis out of the bath and lays him on the cold tiled floor, moving him into the recovery position, water flows out of Louis’ mouth and onto the ground. Harry could feel tears falling down his cheeks. “Louis! Please Louis!”
He hears gasping behind him, “Oh god! We should have seen this coming! We should have checked on him!” Niall was saying, “Oh god.”
Harry put his palms against Louis’ chest, pumping his hands up and down fifteen times before opening the older boys mouth and pressing their lips together, forcing the air from his lungs into Louis’. He repeats it a few times before sitting back up and crying out.
“He’s gone. Help him Liam!” He looks over to Liam who shakes his head.
“Harry, I don’t know what to say… there’s nothing I can do that you can’t.”
Harry growls and starts pumping his hands again, desperately. “Come on Louis! You can’t leave me yet! Not yet! We’re meant to grow old together! We’re meant to get Married and buy a house together! Adopt some kids! Come on Louis!”
He’s just about to give up for good when Louis starts spluttering and his eyes open settling on Harry, “H-Harry.”
“Yes, baby! I’m here gorgeous, you’re alright! You’re alright!” The tears in Harry’s eyes start flowing again and he leans down to kiss Louis, “Bloody hell! What were you thinking you barmy sod?! You scared me!”
“I’m n-nothing without you Harry.”
“You silly boy. I love you so much. I’m sorry I left-”
“Shh! Just kiss me.”
“W-where are you going Harry?” Louis says, voice still raspy from all the screaming he did the night before.
“I’m sorry Louis, I can’t do this anymore. We’re constantly fighting and under stress from the media. I just- I’m sorry but I have to leave. I think,” He stops and looks at Louis in the eyes, leaning down to peck his lips before taking a few steps towards the door. “I think we have to end this… whatever it is between us, it has to end. I love you Louis, I really do but I can’t keep living like this.” He grabs his suitcase and looks to Louis, “I’m sorry.”
Tears spring to Louis’ eyes. “No! Harry, you can’t. Please, I love you, I don’t want you to leave.” He steps towards Harry and he feels his heart break as Harry steps back.
“I am sorry Louis. I just want my life to go back to the way it was.” He reaches out and touches Louis’ cheek before walking out of their bedroom.
Louis follows Harry, tears falling down his face, “Please, Harry! I can fix whatever has gone wrong! I’ll do anything. You’re all I have!” They’re at the front door by now.
Harry ignores his pleas, “I already told the boys. I guess I might see you around.” He opens the door slightly but Louis slams it closed again and presses Harry against it, kissing him roughly.
“Don’t leave me.” He presses his lips back against Harry and for a second the younger boy is returning the pressure. Then he pushes against Louis chest, turning around and opening the door.
“I’m going. I’m sorry.” He takes a step out the door and Louis grabs onto his wrist.
“I’ll do anything for you to stay! You’re the love of my life, please stay!”
“Bye Louis.” He walks out the door, shaking off Louis’ hold.
As soon as he is gone, Louis slides to the floor, leaning against the wall then hitting it repeatedly. “Harry...” He whispers, the pain he’s feeling, evident on his face.
~*~
“Louis, mate. You have to get out of the house one day. I know it’s only been a week since he left but you have to live your life.” Liam says, looking at Louis who is curled up on the sofa in Harry’s favourite fluffy blue blanket, eating ice-cream from the tub.
“I can’t.” Is all he says. “I have a killer headache. I’m going to take some pills.” Louis gets up from his chair, and walks into the kitchen, placing the ice cream back into the freezer. He grabs the pills out of the cupboard, screws the lid open and takes out two pills, swallowing them without water. Thoughts cross his mind about what would happen if he took a few more… he takes out two more, swallowing them too. His hand starts shaking in anticipation. Can he do it? He shook a handful of the painkillers into his hand… he thinks he can…
“Louis,” Liam says behind him, making him jump, the pills flew everywhere. “How many of those did you take?!” He asks, hysterical.
“N-none yet... w-why?” The older boy lies, kneeling down to sweep up the little white tablets from the floor with his hands.
“Don’t lie. I saw you take them.” Liam says, crossing his arms over his chest, the ‘daddy direction’ title seeming more real than ever.
“I only took two.” He lied again, frowning at the floor. Liam’s eyebrows furrowed, obviously not believing him then sighs and kneels down to help Louis clean up.
“Louis, please don’t do anything stupid.” Liam throws the last of the ruined pills into the bin and turns back to Louis, “We don’t want to lose you too.”
“I won’t…” Louis whispers, putting the pill container back in the cupboard and walking to his room.
~*~
Louis is in the kitchen, cleaning the dishes. It seems as if he has nothing better to do these days, and for some reason the kitchen is the place he feels closest to Harry- other than the bedroom that is. Louis almost smiles thinking about it. Almost. Without looking, he reaches out for something else to clean. His fingers come in contact with something metallic, he tightens his fingers around it but curses and drops it when it slices into his flesh.
He looks down to where he dropped it to see the knife Liam used to make dinner last night, his blood on the blade. He leans down to pick up the knife, looking at it curiously. His fingers are throbbing where his skin had been sliced. Slowly, he brings the knife back to his skin, gasping as the blade cuts into his palm.
“You alright mate?” Niall asks walking over to join Louis at the sink. His eyes widen at the sight of the blood, “Louis! What are you doing with that knife?!”
“Um… I accidently cut myself.”
Niall grasped his hand and pulled it under the sink, “Twice?!” He asks, turning the tap on to clean the blood away from Louis’ hand.
Louis gasps as the water runs into his injuries, “Y-yeah…”
“That’s complete bullshit.” Niall says, turning off the water and pulling Louis over to the counter, the pulls a first aid kit out of a cupboard. “Why are you doing this to yourself, Louis? I don’t like it.”
“I’m sorry.” Louis sighs as Niall bandages up his hand.
“I’ll do the rest of the dishes, you go to bed, you look tired.”
“Fine.”
~*~
Louis wakes up in the middle of the night, sweating. He had a nightmare. Shaken, he gets up from bed and walks to the kitchen to grab a glass of water but ends up downing three glasses, almost falling asleep at the sink. He hears his stomach rumble and decides to make an omelette. Gathering all the ingredients he turns on the gas, yawning, then picks up a tomato to cut it. He accidently drops it and leans down to pick it up but hits his head hard on the bench and blacks out, falling to the floor in a heap.
~
“Louis! Louis, wake up!” are the next words he hears. He opens his eyes to see Zayn kneeling above him and shaking him lightly. “Louis, are you okay? Why did you leave the gas on? Are you trying to gas the whole house?”
Louis groans, “I’m sorry. I hit my head.”
“I know, I can see that. Come on, let’s get you to bed.”
~*~
Louis sighs happily as the wind blows his hair in all directions, but mostly into his face. He doesn’t care. He grips the window sill as he puts one leg out the window, resting it on the little ledge underneath it, doing the same with the other. He sits on the window sill, loving the slight breeze, cooling down his heated skin. He watches as the people walk around on the street, he sees a familiar curly mop of hair and almost falls out the window with excitement, but the person turns around and it’s not the boy he has been almost literally dying to see for three months.
“Louis…” He hears someone say behind him, “W-what are you doing at the window?” The voice is slow and calm, he can tell it’s Liam now.
“Nothing, just thinking.”
“Whatever you’re thinking about, please don’t do anything you’ll regret. Just- here, let us help you.” He feels two pairs of hands taking hold of his arms and pulling him away from the window. He lets them. He stands up and turns around to see Niall standing beside Liam, looking concerned. He just stands in front of them, watching them.
“Louis…” Niall begins, as Liam walks to the window and closes it, “We’re really worried about you and… well, we um…”
“We think,” Louis takes over for Niall, “you need to see someone… a doctor. D-do you think you would do that for us?”
Louis just stares at him blankly then, “What the fuck. I don’t need to see a doctor, what the bloody hell are you talking about?!” He walks away from them, towards the stairs, “I’m fine lads. Calm down about it.”
~*~
Louis strips off his clothes and sticks a foot in the boiling water, gasping at just how hot it is. He puts the other foot in and slides into the water. The steam clears his head of all the crap that has happened in the past three months. He misses Harry more and more each day. It gets worse and worse. Almost everything reminds him of the curly haired beauty. He lays back I the bath, letting it engulf him, only leaving his head above the water to let him breath.
~
Harry hesitantly knocks on the door to his and- well just Louis’ apartment now. He is surprised when Liam answers the door instead of Louis. He is even more surprised when the older boy throws his arms around him and starts crying. Harry starts crying too.
“Please tell me you’re staying.” He says, “You can’t leave us again, you can’t leave Louis again. He has been of the rails!”
“Has he been drinking?”
“Not a drop since you left. Just other things like-”
“Who is it?” Niall calls out. Liam lets go of Harry and pulls him in the door. Zayn and Niall’s eyes widen at the sight of the youngest standing in front of them.
“Hi.” Harry says, looking down. He is embarrassed by what he did. Running away from his problems instead of dealing with them.
Niall and Zayn both get up and wrap their arms around him, “God, Harry I missed you!” Niall says, gripping Harry tighter than he has ever held anyone. Zayn pulls away from Harry, frowning at him.
“What?” Harry asks, Zayn’s response is to punch him in the arm, hard. “Ow! What was that for?!”
“You have no idea what you put us through! Louis has been so… depressed. I can’t even begin to explain it.”
“I- I thought he would be better off without me…” Harry mumbles.
“You have never been more wrong, Styles. Go and see him now!” Liam says, pushing Harry up the stairs a little.
“Okay.” Harry walks towards the bedroom, so ready to see his boyfri- just friend now, he corrected himself. Harry told Louis they had to end it. He hopes Louis hasn’t found someone new yet... although he wouldn’t blame him if he had. He opens the door to find it Louisless. It looks just like it had when he left, though. For that he is happy. He walks out of the bedroom and down the hall to the bathroom. He knocks on the bathroom door, there’s no answer.
“Louis? Baby, I’m home. Sorry I left, it was silly.” He opens the door to see Louis in the bath… completely under water… not breathing. “Louis!” Harry rushes to the bath and steps inside, gently lifting Louis’ head out of the water.
“Liam! Niall!” Harry puts his fingers to the side of Louis’ neck to feel his pulse. Its still there… but weak, “Zayn!” He pulls Louis out of the bath and lays him on the cold tiled floor, moving him into the recovery position, water flows out of Louis’ mouth and onto the ground. Harry could feel tears falling down his cheeks. “Louis! Please Louis!”
He hears gasping behind him, “Oh god! We should have seen this coming! We should have checked on him!” Niall was saying, “Oh god.”
Harry put his palms against Louis’ chest, pumping his hands up and down fifteen times before opening the older boys mouth and pressing their lips together, forcing the air from his lungs into Louis’. He repeats it a few times before sitting back up and crying out.
“He’s gone. Help him Liam!” He looks over to Liam who shakes his head.
“Harry, I don’t know what to say… there’s nothing I can do that you can’t.”
Harry growls and starts pumping his hands again, desperately. “Come on Louis! You can’t leave me yet! Not yet! We’re meant to grow old together! We’re meant to get Married and buy a house together! Adopt some kids! Come on Louis!”
He’s just about to give up for good when Louis starts spluttering and his eyes open settling on Harry, “H-Harry.”
“Yes, baby! I’m here gorgeous, you’re alright! You’re alright!” The tears in Harry’s eyes start flowing again and he leans down to kiss Louis, “Bloody hell! What were you thinking you barmy sod?! You scared me!”
“I’m n-nothing without you Harry.”
“You silly boy. I love you so much. I’m sorry I left-”
“Shh! Just kiss me.”