Listinia

Sometimes I hate myself.

Why? For having feelings. Feelings mean you can never be perfect. Feelings mean weakness.

Take sacrifices, for example. If you had to kill two people to save a loved one, would you do it? Would you put your own life at risk to try to save something you love, even though you know it's hopeless? Feelings are weakness. Emotions are irrational.

But emotions are exactly what I'm feeling right now. Fear, confusion, hesitation. Everything that leaves a warrior vulnerable. It goes against what we're trained to be.

"I have to tell the elders," Dal says. He runs up the stairs without another word.

I'm left alone in the hallway. Should I look and see if Dal was right, even though I know he's not lying? Something about that thought makes me sick to my stomach. Again, irrational. I know I won't last a second in the real world if I keep letting my emotions - especially my fear - control me like this.

The room is empty. Nothing seems to have changed - the white cot is in the exact place we left it. I feel panic rising in my chest as all the possibilities fly through my head. Then my training kicks in and my eyes scan the room for evidence.

The first possibility I consider is someone taking her body. They would have had to come from the outside, but there are no footprints on the wooden floor. With all the snow, there would have had to be at least some small puddles.

My eyes move to the square window above the side of the bed. It doesn't look like it opens, but I can't be sure. Then I realize that opening the window would let in cold air, causing the temperature to drop slightly. There's nothing - the room is the same as the rest of the house.

So my mind moves to another possibility. What if the girl was actually some kind of monster? A shape shifter? What if our town is now infiltrated? I would be the one to blame. Well, me and Dal, but it doesn't make much of a difference.

I notice my heart rate is much higher than it should be. I have to try to calm myself. Panic means unwariness. Out in the field, panic means death.

"Arden!" Dal says, coming back down the stairs with Elder Javok. He's the one in charge of archery, which Dallav and I have been training in. "Did you find anything?"

"No," I say. I was unaware that I was actually supposed to be looking for something. Luckily my training taught me to always search for evidence. "I don't see anything unusual."

"We will have to secure the area," Elder Javok says. "This is very peculiar. Tell me again about the situation, as much as you can."

"We were practicing shooting tree dummies a little bit outside town," Dal says. "When we were returning, we noticed something weird at the bottom of a tree. It happened to be the body."

"And you did not recognize this girl?"

"No, I've never seen her before," Dal says.

"She didn't look like anyone I've ever seen before, actually," I add, know this thing is probably important.

"Very strange," Elder Javok says. "What did she look like? And what was she wearing?"

"She was pretty thin and her face was kind of... pointy. I don't remember how she was dressed, but it wasn't that weird."

"Long white coat," I say. "The kind that insulates you. And a green hat."

"Is there anything else you two remember?"

"She looked like she'd been there for a while," I say.

Elder Javok nods. "Very well. There is nothing more you can do about this. I suggest you go to the training area to train from now on. I don't think the woods will be particularly dangerous, but it's better to stay away until this is all resolved. You two young men should go home and rest for a bit, then return to training. This is no excuse to slack, you hear me?"

Dal and I nod obediently before quietly leaving the warm House of Elders, which doesn't seem as cozy as it had before. Something about the place just feels off now.

"What do you think happened to her?" he asks as we trudge through the snow.

"I don't really know," I say. "I hope they figure it out."

"It's probably nothing big," he says like the optimist he is. "Nothing bad ever comes from other people. You should know."

"Yeah, I know, I know."

"Let's go to your place and eat something," he suggests. "My house is further away and my sister probably ate everything already."

We walk in silence after that, with me wondering what my mother will cook us today. We've never really had much, but it's even worse in the winter. When we walk past the rich people's houses, I feel a bit of envy. More unnecessary emotion, but I think this is somewhat justified. After all, you don't have to go into war if you can pay the fees.

When we reach my house, I push the wooden door and hurry in as fast as I can. It's a relief to be out of the cold, and I'm glad I don't have a lock on my door like the rich people do. It's all a waste of time. As Dal said, nothing bad ever comes from other people, and monsters wouldn't dare coming into town.

"Where have you been, Arden?" my mother, Aquovia, says.

"It's a long story, but everything is okay," I say. I place my bow and arrows on a chair by the fireplace, and Dal does the same.

"I've been waiting," she says, walking over to the chairs to clean our weapons while we eat - a routine that was formed many years ago.

"We're very sorry, Aquovia," Dal says.

She sighs. She flicks her fingers towards the fireplace and the flames burn brighter. "Well, your food is waiting on the table. I suppose you should go get some snow for melting. You'll need water to drink, and we've run out."

Dal picks up the bucket by the door and we head out the back door. We don't just scoop up the snow that has been walked all over, so we go into the few trees behind my house for fresh, clean snow. Dallav leads, as he has the bucket.

"Arden." He stops walking. "Arden. Look."

I step to the side of him to see what he's staring at, and under a small tree, she's there. The girl whose body had gone missing not too long ago.

"Dallav. What... what do we do?"

"I don't know. You usually know what to do, Ar..."

My pulse is racing by now. I freeze up right there, and it's not because of the cold. Be fearless, I tell myself. You're a warrior. It's what you're made for. I take a few steps until I am standing over her body, and Dal follows. I'm afraid to lean in and take a closer look, fearing that she may come alive and attack me. I have to close my eyes and tell myself again not to be afraid. I haven't gone through nearly ten years of physical training for nothing.

"She looks different," Dal points out. I can see he's shaking a bit and I wouldn't be surprised if I am too. He's right, though. Her hat and coat are gone, and she's left with a long green dress and brown boots.

"There's something around her neck," I say. It looks like a silver necklace. There seems to be words on it. I debate on whether to take a look or not, and I have to push myself to reach out and pull the chain from her neck.

"What does it say?" Dal leans closer and I hold it out in the sun. There's only one word on it, one that sparkles and glistens in the light.

Listinia.