Listinia

She eats quietly, her head down. She doesn't meet the stares of everyone else in the room.

"So, I hear you're quite the fighter," Naiya says.

"I suppose..." Listinia's voice is still soft and she often trails off her sentences as if she's nervous. I can't help but wonder why.

"You burned half of the plot of trees down. That's rather impressive."

"Thanks."

The story was all over the village already. It took quite a few people to put the fire out. Not like it would have actually done any damage to the land because of all the snow, but it probably would have destroyed a bit of personal equipment.

"Arden will train you up," Aquovia says. "You'll catch up in no time."

My mother is right. Although Listinia had forgotten everything about herself, she didn't forget how to kill. The village welcomed her as a great warrior after that fire, but she doesn't seem to realize the honor in it. Many are jealous of her feat, but I don't know if I'm one of them.

Listinia doesn't answer. She's not much of a talker, but at the moment I can attribute that to the fact that she just woke up to a world that she has no memory of, and is now expected to be a hero.

We eat our dinner in silence. My family never talked much on our own anyway, but Listinia's presence makes it seem extra quiet.

"You should get her back to the elders," Aquovia says as she picks up our plates.

"Yeah, alright," I say. We get up to leave.

The walk through the snow is uneventful. I wonder what will happen to her. She seems to be on the same level of training as everyone else around our age, if not better. Will she still go out into war when she comes of age? Something about that thought is completely wrong.

Halfway through our walk to the House, she asks, "Arden, who am I?"

I think back to the time when she first spoke to me. No one you'd want to know, she said. Does she remember it? No, probably not. "I don't know any more than you do."

"I'm scared."

There it is. That word. We should never have to use it, the elders say. My muscles tense up at the sound of it. Being scared means fear, and fear means danger. "Of what?"

"Myself."

I have nothing to say, and neither does she when I don't respond.

There's something about her that makes me cautious no matter how many times people tell me there's nothing to worry about. I can feel it happening. My gut is interfering with my head, something that's never supposed to happen.

We reach the House. I don't want to go in, as that would mean dealing with the elders. It's strange how I want to avoid the very people who are teaching me how to stay alive. I can't help but think that means there's something wrong with me.

Before entering the House, Listinia turns and stares at me for a moment. Then she asks, "Will everything be okay?"

For some reason, I can't answer that question immediately. Maybe it's because I don't have an answer, and the elders always said never to tell lies.

So I think. I think of the never-ending war that she will be forced to fight in, even though she has no memory of this world. I think about how, in a way, we're all prepared to die. Those who survive the fighting watch their own loved ones go through it. From here, it seems that things will always be this way.

So I answer, "No, I don't think it will."

--------

"Arden, hurry up!"

"Yeah, coming."

"You don't want to trip over another tree root, do you?"

"I told you not to talk about that," I mutter.

Listinia can only laugh.

It's summer now, a new year. The first summer of a year is always the worst. Every new year, those who have turned twenty in the previous year are sent off into war. They get their assignments and meet their commanders. Most of the time, we don't see them much after that. Or ever again.

In a way, it's also the happiest season. Something about how everything comes alive makes things feel okay again. Of course, that feeling is false, because as I said in the last winter, it won't be okay.

With the summer comes improvement. Improvements in our skills, of course, but I can see much more in Listinia. She talks, and we get to discover the person she used to be. She's cheerful and joking, in a way that I could never be.

She's been placed in tenth year training with us (making our total headcount twenty-four), probably because Dallav and I were the ones who found her. She keeps up perfectly well, though. She's better than most of us on this level, honestly. But she doesn't remember ever learning how to use a bow and arrow.

"Look, there's a new nest," Dallav says. He points to the ground and I can see that small tunnels have been dug surrounding a fairly large mound.

"A new one?" Equia asks. "It's so close to town."

Annually, the tenth years have to eliminate nests of Umoros due to their overpopulation threat. They're these ugly green creatures with four eyes and white patches of skin covered in warts. For the most part they're harmless if you don't get too close. Their bite is venomous until their death, but they move at a laughably slow pace. Once skinned, they make a nice meal. It's one of the things Naiya I look forward to every year, but Dallav hates it. He can hardly stand the sight of them, let alone the thought of eating them. I wonder how Listinia will react once she sees one.

"I got this," Naiya says, climbing the mound. "Get the entrances."

We position ourselves a few feet away from the opening of the tunnels. Once Naiya jams her blade into the queen's head, the other Umoros will come running out. That's when we'll easily pick them off.

"Aim for the tails, guys," Equia says. "It's their weak spot."

"Ready?" Naiya asks, even though it's clear that we are. "Go!"

There's an awkward pause of anticipation as the slow moving creatures make their way through the tunnels. Once they come out, they come in a rush. Everyone works well, as we're trained for far worse than this. Listinia has amazing accuracy, never missing once.

"Great job, guys," Naiya says. There's a pile of chopped off tails near her area. "We only have like, a hundred more to go."

Everyone laughs at this, including me. Part of me thinks that it's wrong - laughing right after we destroyed a whole colony of creatures, even if they are monsters. But I tell myself that soon, this will be a common occurrence. This will be my life.

"Let the ninth years come in and do their thing," Dallav says. "You know how hard it is to carry back all these disgusting bodies."

"Yeah, let's meet up with the others," Equia suggests. "They went up the hill to the bigger nests."

We walk casually up the hill. There's a light, almost happy mood that surrounds us. It generally comes like this every summer.

"So this is fun," Listinia says to me. She doesn't say anything about how hideous the creatures are.

"Yeah."

"Bitter because I did better than you?" she teases.

"A little," I admit.

She smiles. "Don't worry, you'll catch up in no time."

I recognize that as a quote from my mom. She's flipped it completely, and the irony makes me laugh. "I hope so."

She laughs too, and I see some weird beauty in her face. But as soon as I see it, my mind tells me to stop. Because even after her being here since winter, some instinct of mine tells me to get away. Something tells me she's not to be trusted, even though that thought is completely absurd. Everyone in our village has accepted her, so why haven't I?

There's something strange about her, but I can't seem to figure it out.