I Wish

Can guys and girls be just friends? If you ask any girl I'm sure they'll tell you that they can but most guys would disagree with you. Don't believe me? Look it up. I've seen a ton of videos on it because I thought it was just me. Apparently it's not.

I've liked Skye longer than I want to admit. The only person who knows about it is Cameron. I've tried to tell her a number of times but I can't bring myself to do it. I'm just not really good at explaining my feelings. I can talk to people hours on end about music but when it comes to what I am actually thinking I don't even know where to begin.

The only time I'm able to write how I'm feeling is in song and even then I can't get all of the words out. I'll generalize it. I wont write any specifics. If you've listened to my songs and compared them to Taylor Swift or whatever you could see the difference and I'm not just talking about our sex. You can tell who she is talking about because of her description on various relationships. If you looked at mine you would have no idea. Skye sure as hell doesn't have a clue since most of the songs that we sing are about her.

You're probably thinking that I should just be more specific. I should just come out and say it. I shouldn't beat around the bush because that could be confusing. I just can't do it. It's not that easy.

So now here I am watching the girl that I think I'm in love with dancing with some other guy who's definitely not me. Did I mention Christmas is just around the corner? My life sucks.

-x-

Every year our school has a winter dance and this year it's the Snow Ball. Which is a stupid theme if you ask me since it doesn't even snow in this part of California. No, I'm not just saying that because that was Skye's initial reaction. It was mine too.

Normally, Skye and I would go together because neither one of us had a date but this year is different. She's taking her boyfriend Aaron with her. Just the thought of it makes me want to hit something. It's not like Aaron's a bad guy, he's just not the guy for her. I am. She just doesn't seem to notice.
I plopped down on my bed and stared up at the ceiling. I could see the small border of flowers around my room. Which sounds ridiculous considering I'm a guy but my mom did it before I was even born. Now we're all too lazy to take it down.

My brother Vic came barging in my room, "You could at least knock."

He ignored my comment, "Can you take Cindy and I to the dance?" Yes, even my little brother has a date. God, this day is going to be even worse than I thought.

"Yeah whatever."

Vic adjusted his tie before looking around the room, "Where's Skye? She's usually here."

"She's at home, getting ready. She's taking Aaron."

Vic shrugged and shut the door behind him. I waited a minute before I got up to get dressed. The dance was about to start and I knew Skye would bitch at me if I was late...even if we weren't going together.

I threw on a blue buttoned down shirt and the only black suit that I had in my closet. I put on a simple black tie. I didn't even bother brushing through my hair since there was no point. Just like there's no point in going to this stupid dance.

I got in the car and waited for Vic to come out. I could hear our mom call out, "Have fun!" Which was not likely considering the fact that I was going to have to watch Skye with some other guy. I can't say anything bad about the whole thing with out ruining her night. I wish I could but I can't do it.

I might as well be a fucking girl because I can't even be a man and tell her how I feel. What the hell is wrong with me?

Vic got in the back seat of the car. I might as well just be a chauffeur and wear the stupid hat and everything.

Vic gave me direction to his date Cindy's house. When we finally pulled up she was already sitting on her front porch steps waiting for him. Vic got out of the car and Cindy came running to him. I couldn't resist rolling my eyes especially when I saw Vic give her his jacket because she was shivering.

I'm already pissed off and the night has just started. I haven't even see Skye yet.

-x-

As soon as we pulled into the school's parking lot you could see the chanegs they had made for the dance. There were lights hanging by the doors and a white carpet leading into the school. Vic and Cindy quickly ditched me and left me to fend for myself. Assholes.

I looked around the parking lot for Skye but it was surprisingly empty. I checked my watch and realized we were a few minutes early.

"Fuck." I muttered under my breath. Looks like I'll be here even longer than I want. If I could I would get in my car and turn around right now but Skye would kill me if I did that.

I sighed loudly and made my way into the school. The inside of the school was even more decorated than the front. There were candles leading the way to the gym and more white snow flakes. Everything was white considering the fact that it was a Snow Ball. I couldn't help but cringe at the lameness.

Once I reached the gym I found a seat in the back corner and sat down. I kept my eyes on the clock and waited. Time went by relatively slow, especially since we decided to come early. Which was very stupid on my part. More and more filled the gym. I recognized a few faces and some of my friends came up to say hi to me but there was no sign of Skye.

All of a sudden the room turned black. Someone's hand's were shielding my eyes.

"Guess who?"

"I don't need to guess. I know it's you Skye."

She let go and pouted, "Damn, how'd you know?"

"Do you really have to ask? I'm usually the one who does that."

"True." She took a seat next to me and sighed. I looked over at her for the first time. Her dark brown hair was curled and she had on a red dress. She smiled at me when I realized that I was staring.

"You look nice."

"Nice? Nice is what you say to someone when they look like shit and you don't know what else to say."

"Says who?"

"Says that bitch Katherine who saw me walking in with Aaron. I don't know why she doesn't like me."

"Well..."

"What?" she asked.

"Never mind."

"Zachary-"

"Don't call me Zachary. You know I hate it."

She rolled her eyes, "Zachary, tell me."

Aaron came to Skye's side with two drinks in hand. I didn't even hear him come up, "Sorry man. I would've gotten you a cup if I saw you."

I shrugged, "Don't worry about it."

A slow song came on and Skye jumped up out of her seat. "Come on Aaron. Let's go dance." She grabbed his hand and before he could say anything he was being pulled away. He put the two drinks down and laughed.

Needless to say, Aaron is Skye's bitch. He'll do anything that she wants. Which is boring if you ask me since Skye normally doesn't go for guys like Aaron. She goes for guys who are more like me. I'm not being a cocky douche, it's the truth.

I watched them walk over to the middle of the dance floor hand in hand. When they found a spot Aaron put his hand low on her back and Skye put her hands around his shoulders. I could see a smile form on her face while Aaron was talking.

I shifted in my seat and glared. I could feel my fist begin to clench. I was so fixated on the two of them that I didn't hear Ariana, Cameron, Nikki, and Michael show up.

"If you keep on glaring you're face is going to stay like that." said Ariana.

My face turned stone cold, "I'm not glaring. I'm just-"

Michael spoke up, "It's okay man. We all know how you feel about her."

I turned to Cameron and scowled."You weren't suppose to say anything."

"You told me not to tell Skye." He pointed out, "You didn't say anything about telling them."

I turned my attention back to Skye and Aaron who were dancing even closer. I could feel myself cringe.

"Why are you torturing yourself Zach?" asked Nikki. I looked at the girl who looked so much like Skye in a number of ways but the only similarities the two girls had were their appearances. Nikki was soft spoken while Skye was out there.

"I'm not."

Nikki tilted her head to the side, "Come on, even Michael could see the way you feel about her." She turned to Michael and gave him a small smile, "Michael's not the best observer but he knew."

"Hey-"

"Don't go acting offended. You said so yourself earlier."

Michael turned his attention away from Nikki, "Come on man. Just tell her."

I took my eyes away from Skye and Aaron, "It's not that easy."

"You make everything way too difficult."

"You sound like Skye." I sighed.

"Well, Skye's right. Get up and go tell her."

"It's going to ruin her night."

"I doubt it."

"Go." nudged Ariana. I got up from my chair and looked around at my four friends. I knew they were right. I just...I don't know.

"Fine. I'll do it." I didn't look back at them. I walked to the center where Aaron and Skye were dancing. I hesitated and stood there. Not entirely sure about what I was going to do. I forced myself to take the remaining steps towards Skye and Aaron who were to busy dancing and laughing to notice my pressence.

God, I wish that was me.

I cleared my throat when I was standing right beside the two of them. Skye looked over confused. "Can I cut in?"

"Sure." Aaron's hands dropped from her waist. He gave her a quick kiss, "I'll be back babe." I tried to hide my facial expression since there was no doubt I was cringing.

When Aaron was gone I awkwardly put my hands in the same spot where his just were. "I had to dance with you before this night ended."

Skye laughed, "It just started maybe a half an hour ago."

"So?" I could feel my heart start to beat faster. I tried to ignore it but I couldn't. I could feel my palms start to sweat and I knew that I was running out of time. A song only lasted for about three minutes and I was already waisting time. "I need to tell you something."

"Tell me."

"I don't know where to start."

"How about the beginning? That's when things normally start after all."

"Will you be quiet and let me finish-"

"No." She smiled and laughed, "Go ahead. I'll shut up."

"You know we've been friends for a while-"

"Are you breaking up with me?"

I raised an eyebrow and she shut her mouth, "So we've been friends for a long time...and sometimes when you get to know someone more the more you seem to like."

"I would sure hope so."

"Skye..."

"Sorry."

"I should probably just cut through the chase. Aaron's going to be back soon."

"You're freaking me out Zach. Just tell me."

"I don't know how you're going to take it."

"You're not going to know unless you tell me."

"Okay," I took a deep breath, "I kind of like you."

"I kind of like you too." She laughed, "That's all you wanted to tell me? I could've guessed that. We've been friends forever. I would hope that you liked me."

"No Skye, you don't get it. I have feelings for you." We stopped dancing and her arms fell from my neck.

"But we're friends. We're best friends."

"I can't be just friends with you anymore."

"I-I had no idea." From the corner of my eye I could see Aaron coming back.

"Just forget I said anything." I started walking away but Skye grabbed my hand.

"I don't want to forget it." She bit her lip. She looked over and saw Aaron. "Just give me a minute okay?"

I nodded, "I'll wait for you outside the gym." I turned away from her and walked away. I could see Cameron and Ariana trying to get my attention but I ignored them. I didn't know what to say to them because I don't even know what just happened.

I stood outside of the gym and waited for what seemed like hours. I paced back and forth waiting for Skye but she was too busy talking to Aaron the last time I checked. I was about to leave when I heard foot steps coming my way.

Skye was standing just between the door way and smiled lightly. "Now I don't even know where to begin."

I went over to where she was standing. "Start from the beginning."

"I'm getting an odd sense of de ja vu right now."

We both laughed but it felt awkward and forced. "I shouldn't have said anything. The guys told me I should do it."

"I'm glad you did."

I looked at her with a confused expression, "Why?"

"I like you too you goof." A smile broke across her face and it took me a minute to realize what she was saying. I remained quiet, "Did you turn into a mute or something?"

I looked up and saw a mistletoe hanging from the door that we were standing in between. I pointed up and she looked up.

"Mistletoe." She looked over at me and said nothing, "We can't ignore tradition."

"I guess we can't." She leaned in and softly pressed her lips on to mine.

Thank god for traditions.