Run Right Back

It was happening again. Kim and Jon were laughing together, eating Chinese food while watching one of Kim’s favorite movies. This time it was Josie and the Pussycats. Jon remembered watching it with her for the first time. It was after he got home from a road game. The two curled up on the couch. She fell asleep with her head resting on his lap and he stayed up and watched the entire movie because it didn’t cease to make him grin. That feeling of elation he felt with the film is a feeling he carried for Kim. Watching the movie again with her brought up those damn feelings.

Kim picked up a piece of sushi. The two went to a Chinese restaurant, yet she got sushi. Sushi and a carton of lo mein noodles just for her. Jon got barbecue chicken, white rice, and beef and broccoli. He also forgot how much food Kim kept around her. She always had a stocked food supply and wine bar.

Wine.

Jon leaned back from his seat on the purple Lay-Z-Boy to look at Kim. “Hey, what do you have to drink?”

The girl’s face scrunched up in thought. “Cranberry juice, milk, and boxes of Juicy Juice that Simon left. There is like a cabinet full of tea. My roommate and I fucking love tea.” Kim smiled at Jon. “My roommate is an old sorority friend. She was two years ahead of me. One who was nice to me. She is at the hospital working a 12-hour shift.” Another piece of sushi is popped into Kim’s mouth. “You can go in the fridge and browse.”

He languidly got off from the chair. “Actually, I was thinking of something of the alcohol variety.” The words soft and barely louder than the rant coming from Rachael Leigh Cook’s mouth about what makes you cool. He kept his back to her so that she couldn’t see the devilish look in his eyes.

A shiver was sent down Kim’s spine. Alcohol never ended with happy endings. “Uh, yeah. On top of the fridge is a wine refrigerator. There is a bottle of vodka in the freezer. There is a bottle of Boones Farm on the top shelf, but that is Madeline’s.”

“Oh no. Not the Boones Farm,” he jokingly said. “How did you know that I wanted the Boones Farm? Awe shucks.” He took out a bottle of pomegranate red wine. Digging through the silverware drawer, he found a cork screw. “You want a glass?”

“Like I would say no? Sweetie, you know I love wine.” Kim’s face was struck red. She couldn’t believe she slipped up and called him ‘sweetie’. She was akin to overusing ‘sweetie’ and ‘honey’ but never to an ex. The girl was already slipping up. Shit was about to get real.

Two glasses of dark wine were in his hands. He handed one to Kim and sat down in front of the couch she lying on. “Hey Kim, can we talk about what happened?”

“You mean about you thinking my nephew was our secret love child? Sure, we can talk about that.” The wine was gingerly sipped on as she kept her eyes on the TV and off of Jon. “We can talk all about how you looked at him like you were going to take him home and teach him how to ice skate.” She smirked while staring at the TV.

There was this aching in Jon. It represented the regrets he felt for her. He had a speech prepared three years ago after they broke up that he wanted to say to her. It was written down on the back of a Denny’s paper placemat. It was very lengthy, with a few curse words thrown in. Granted, he never expected to see her again to give her that speech. He kept that placemat, though. Kept it as a reminder that he had something to say, that things were left unfinished. The words weren’t embedded in his head. He couldn’t remember what he planned to say, so he decided to wing it. “No. I mean us. Talk about what happened between us. I know that it is all in the past and nothing I say now will change what happened. I just want to know why it turned to so much shit. I mean, we had something beautiful. Didn’t we? I was so happy when I was with you. I… I never found that with any other girl…” He would have never admitted that out loud to anyone beside Patrick. He wasn’t even sure if he wanted Kim to know that she gave him that much happiness and pleasure.

Kim drained her glass of wine. “I need another glass.” The cushion behind Jon’s head popped up when Kim sauntered into the kitchen. He figured this would be a difficult conversation. He finished off his glass and followed her into the kitchen. She silently filled their glasses. She drained the second glass almost as fast as the first. Her head was starting to swim. “You know I regret that entire conversation we had, right? I wish it didn’t happen. I was miserable for months. It was hard without you. And I just felt stupid for being so heavily affected since we dated for only 4 months. The way I was acting it was like my boyfriend of ten years left me. But…” She stared holes into the counter. Her fingers danced near the stem of the wine glass. “I don’t know. I never wanted to admit it to anyone, but I loved you, Jon. I really fucking loved you. And I hated myself for pushing you away and then running away.” The wine glass was filled again. She picked it up and walked back to the living room, carrying the wine bottle along with the wine glass. “Actually, I was in love with you.” She felt okay with finally admitting it out loud. It felt right. It helped that she was starting to drown herself with wine.

The words were in the air, drifting into Jon’s ears. A soft smile seeped onto his face. He looked down into the dark wine. If only there was a way to erase that fight.

“Do you think we were a happy couple? If that never happened, do you think we would still be dating to this day?”

The girl lightly laughed. “God, loaded question, much? I don’t even know. We were too happy. We probably would have blown up like we did at some point. You do remember how we started seeing each other, how we met, right? It was cataclysmic. You were extremely rude and sassy.”

“Rude?!”

“Yeah! At the barn you were standoffish. And then when I saw you at that bar you were drunk and an asshole. You basically called me a whore and a druggie bitch, in different terms. And then you asked me to go home with you. You were rude and sassy.” She slinked back onto the couch. Her small body was consumed by the cushions. “We were crazy, don’t you think? We were…”

“The best thing I ever had,” he mumbled into his glass before tipping it back and drowning his words in velvet wine. “I am going to pop open another bottle. Is that cool?” These words were said loud enough for her to hear. She mumbled a ‘yes’ and Jon abandoned his glass and uncorked the bottle, toting it with him back to the living room. At this point, the TV was ignored. He sat down in front of the couch, facing her. “Is it bad business to do this?”

She lifted an eyebrow incredulously. “Drink together?”

“Ha, yeah, well that and to talk about us. Is it bad talking about us? Because I’ve never really been able to talk about you. And talking about it now, with you here, it is bringing up…” He took a long swig from the bottle of wine. When he was done a fourth of the wine had disappeared. “Never mind. Let’s just leave it.”

The glass Kim was holding clinks against the bottle in Jon’s hand. “Top me off?” He fills her glass. They silently sit there not uttering another word. There were words stewing in Jon’s head. He wanted to tell her off. He didn’t, though. Because he knew if he did that he would lose her again. He couldn’t bear to do that after finding her. Kimberly wanted to be blatant with him; tell him how much her life has been shit since they broke up. She didn’t care that saying that would her be showing all her cards. She has had more than her fair share of rejection. She lost everything once. However, the pain wasn’t lost on her. So she didn’t quite want to go through it all over again.

The two finished off another bottle. Time slipped through their fingers like sand. When Jon felt like going home it was too late and he was too drunk. His body swayed more with each step he took. Kim, who was surprisingly more sober, helped him stand straight. “You are not driving home, bud. Follow me to my room. You can get the bed. I’ll take the couch.”

“Why are you being nice to me?” Jon let his body hang off of hers since he was having trouble holding himself up. He usually doesn’t let himself get carried away with drinking. “I was horrible to you.” His feet dragged against the floor. Kim grabbed his hip, clutching it. “No, seriously, Kim. I was rotten. And when you were going through that shit with Sully. I didn’t bother to help. I fucked things up for you.”

When they finally make it to her bed, she collapsed. Their bodies bounced on the springy mattress. Kim undressed the bed, helping Jon under the covers. “It’s cool, Jon,” was all Kim said.

He grabbed her wrist. “No!” He yanked on her arm to stop her from trying to pull away. “It isn’t. Fuck. Kim. I am trying to amend things here. I am trying to say that I was bad. You deserved better. But I loved you.” The girl nods, still trying to pull away. His hold snapped her back to him and she fell onto the bed next to him. “Kimberly Frances Parker. You are more beautiful than the day I met you.”

Her face was blistering red. “God, Jon. Knock it off.”

“Can I kiss you?”

There wasn’t a reply. He hesitantly leaned over her. Before kissing her he looked at her lips then up to her eyes. There was a glimmer in them. His lips briefly touched hers. When he pulled away they both instinctively pulled the other closer and kissed again. Kim’s hand was trembling when she lifted his shirt. He helped her. “Baby, please don’t go,” he whispered into her hair.

She straddled his lap and kissed his neck. “Don’t leave me. Don’t leave me.”