A Frog's Life

Looking back at myself, and just everything back then, I kind of want to slap myself. How could I have been so stupid? But it felt so good. The cutting was MINE. It was my own personal power source. The depression sucked the life out of me, but the cutting fought it. It sounds silly, considering that's such a bad thing, but it worked. I would try my hardest not to do it for awhile, cause after I started I couldn't stop. And it got worse and worse each time, therefore it got harder and harder to hide each time. But after I would do it, the little light that the depression was smothering, would flame up. Not indefinitely, but still. For those couple of hours, even days, it was like when a little kid gets a special piece of candy, or those few minutes before Christmas. Knowing you have something special that's so sooo sweet and meaningful to you, and it's all yours. Nobody can take it away. Not even your crazy mom.