Reality and Those Hellish Dreams

Frank's POV.

"Frankie, I didn't fucking do this. Call her back. Tell her that I didn't do this to myself. Please, please.. Please.'' Gerard whispered. I wrapped my arms tighter around him. We were both sat in the pouring rain, Gerard leaning against my chest and my back leaning against the wall enclosing us in the alley. I continued stroking his hair with one hand, the other wrapped tightly around his chest. His hair smelt clean and felt soft, though it felt slightly damp from the rain.. "Frankie..?" He asked, softly.

"Yeah, Sweetie?"

"They'll send me away if they think I've been hurting myself again.. You know that right?" Gerard said, softly. His hand came up to my hand pressed against his chest and he played with my fingers, looking at them curiously. "Do you want them to do that to me..?"

"Gee, you know I don't want that. But if it's going to help you... You know, I want the best for you and all that." I said, honestly. Gerard continued mindlessly studying my hand.

"I never sent you away when I knew you cut yourself." He whispered, so softly I almost hadn't heard it. I sighed, deeply. He hadn't sent me away. Not at all.. He'd helped me. "I didn't even do this and you don't believe me.. If I'd wanted to cut myself, why would I come all the way out here with you following me to do it? You haven't thought this through." He said, knowingly. Gerard started getting up. "Do you have any cigarettes on you?"

I pulled a cigarette and lighter from my pocket and handed it to Gee. He pressed the cigarette to his lips but handed the light back to me. "Light it for me?" He asked, softly, crouching back down so he was eye level with me, his eyes filled with sorrow. I clicked the lighter and lit the end of his cigarette for him.

"I know you didn't send me away, Honey. And.. Well.. As much as I want to believe you, I can't. I know you used to have suicidal tendencies and depression.. You know? You need help." I said, avoiding his gaze. The rain had began to stop. Gerard looked up at the sky, blowing smoke up towards it.

"Then why can't you help me? I helped you..." He said, pacing.

"Because I need help, too." I said, honestly looking into his eyes. He caught and held my gaze.

"You.. You're getting help too?" He asked, confused. I pushed myself up from my position on the floor. I nodded, sticking my hand out to take his cigarette. He handed it to me and I inhaled, deeply. I handed it back to him, only wanting a brief taste of the nicotine.

"I'll get help if you agree to get help, yeah? We can do this together." I whispered, pressing a kiss to Gerard's cheek. He nodded.

"Only if we do it together.. Promise?" He asked.

I nodded. "I promise." I said, honestly, feeling my phone vibrate in my pocket. I pulled it out, wiping the screen and unlocking it. CHLOE glowed in bright letters across the front of the screen. I opened up the message, Gerard standing beside me to read it too.

'Do you still need me or is he okay now?'

I tapped out a quick reply to Chloe informing her that everything had resolved, but I need to talk to her sometime soon about myself and Gee. Her reply was almost instant, confirming that everything was fine and that she'd be contacting me soon with a date. Gerard seemed happy with my response, wrapping his arms around me and kissing my cheek. A pang of guilt snaked down my spine. I'd really thought about sending him away? I mean, after all he'd done for me..

And yet I'm still considering it.

I looked into his eyes, my world, my love, my everything.. And still, the lingering feeling of abandon haunted my mind. Would I leave him to face the world alone? Would I have to send him back to that place.. The place he faced as nothing but a confused and mixed-up teen? He'd hated it there.. But maybe, as an adult, he'd see the good it could do him. Maybe he could get the help he needed?

I summed up everything with one word.

Maybe.

Maybe this would work.. Maybe everything would get back to normal again.. Maybe this could fix us both?

And with that one, small word, I'd made my decision. I'd called Chloe tonight. "Gerard, let's go home." I said to him, taking his hand in mine. He nodded and we walked down the alleyway together.

This is going to fix him.

Maybe.