Trying Not to Love You

I had a hold of my new friends hands, as we were atop the table in the back lounge of Falling in Reverse’s tour bus and grinding to Nickelback’s Here and Now album. The song currently playing was Gotta Get Me Some and despite being hollered at by Ryan, Derek, Mika and Ronnie I was having a fucking good time.
Lets rewind to the start of this day perhaps.

Music blaring from my phone through the earphones, flight from England landing in America; De ja vu anyone?
Not quite
Landing in Vegas and not LA, got Midnight Queen by Nickelback and not the Runaways or Hanoi Rocks, and also still a little drunk while leaving the plane this time.

I had spent the past month dealing with moving my stuff into my parents house, sending stuff to leave at Jacky’s, organising a career break from work, filling out VISA papers, signing with Epitaph, sorting bank accounts and getting a new phone contract set up so it wouldn’t cost five thousand pounds for every fucking phone call or text message [slight exaggeration maybe?] It’d truly been a hectic nightmare. All that plus random messages from Ronnie every few days.
It was no surprise that all I wanted was to crash out with a bottle of my favourite.

“Vodkaaaa!” Jacky yelled across the airport. A pleasant nickname I’d earned after getting into his good books again.

“Jackson!” I laughed to myself and strode over to him. My name for him was a little more insulting considering neither of us liked the association to the late pop star.

“Glad to have you back!” he hugged me tightly.

“Really? Are you drunk?” I raised my eyebrows.

“Yes. Decided it was best not to drive too,” he grinned like a fool.

“I missed you,” I sighed happily.

“Gettin’ on it like a car bonnet!” he said loudly causing me to burst into a fit of giggles at the nonsense.

“Protect that fuckin’ engine dude!” I spluttered between my laughter.

We sniggered together and I knew this was gonna be fun.

The cab ride was short and we were soon at our destination. It was only midday so Jacky had plenty of time to sober up before the first show, which would be kicking off the tour that night.

“Point me to where these can go,” I asked once we got to the bus that was in the parking lot of the venue.

Jacky led me through the bunks to the lower back one on the right. “We left this one specially for you,” he grinned.

“Kay, kay weirdo.”
There was nothing special about it.

I shoved my stuff inside and we left the bus to seek out my boss and the guys. I was only staying on their tour bus because Jacky wanted to keep an eye on me and there was a spare place to sleep.

“Dude did you forget where the airport was? You’ve been gone ages!” Mika saw us first as he was in the corridor playing with his phone.

“Maybe I did, maybe I didn’t” Jacky shrugged and grinned.

“Hey man how’s it goin’?” I smiled.

“Pretty good. Nice to have you back,” Mika replied, “How was your flight?”

“Meh airborne. I need to find the tour manager. Tony is it?” I questioned.

“Oh yeah he’s up front with the guys.”

We continued down the passage until it spat us out onto the stage. The support band were doing their sound check by looks of things while the boys of Falling in Reverse were sat at the front of the stage observing.

“Vod!” They all chorused.

“Hiya bitchesss!” I grinned.

“Miss Vincent,” a tall man with a beard and glasses approached me, “I’m your manager for this tour. Call me Tony please. Come this way,” he shook my hand and led me away back down the corridor.

“Dude, did your sister get hotter while she was home?” someone said as I left the stage following my new boss.

“Shut up dude,” Jacky said wistfully before I was totally out of earshot.

“Now, Vod,” Tony got my attention once we were back outside, “It was explained to you that you wouldn’t just be teching right?”

“Yeah. That’s cool as long as you don’t expect me to clean toilets or puddles of puke,” I told him.

Tony laughed, “No we didn’t hire you as a maid.”

“Glad that’s sorted.”

“Anyway tonight we’re gonna need you on merch. Tomorrow I’ll go through the tech stuff and have you with Mika, all right? I know you know what you’re doing but I need to see for myself so my mind is at ease. We don’t have time for it today.”

“No problem,” I shrugged.

“Oh and another thing, you know that if Epitaph is sending another band on tour and they’re low on crew you could get sent off this tour to help them, right?”

“Uh…” I vaguely recalled something about that, “Yeah, yeah its cool. So long as I don’t have to go near those Black Veil Bride wankers,” I muttered.

Tony looked at me funny, “Well they’re not on our label so that shouldn’t be a problem. Behave ok. Just behave.”
Behave? Fuck obviously nobody explained ‘behave’ isn’t in my vocabulary.

The other girl on merch was called Claire. I invited her for drinks with me after the show and the boys wouldn’t leave us alone so on account they provided our alcohol we agreed to join them. First night on tour and Jacky pulled some slag. I agreed to look the other way if he never commented on anything I did and he used protection. Some guys need telling would you believe.

“You earned another drink definitely,” Derek pulled Claire off the table and onto his lap to feed her tequila.

I shuddered at the thought of drinking that stuff.
Then moaning came from the bunks behind the closed door.

“Pickanothersong!” I yelled covering my ears.
Ronnie laughed at me and quickly chose a new song. I didn’t care what it was as long as it covered the noises of them!

“You gotta chill about that,” Ronnie said when I sat next to him.

“You wouldn’t understand, you don’t have a sibling of the opposite sex,” I slightly slurred.

“Nooo but I like to have sex. That’s a good idea. Lets have sex!” he was evidently quite drunk himself when he pulled me onto his lap with his arms tightly wrapped around my waist.

“Sorry! Was I loud?” Jacky burst in pulling a shirt on.

“No I think she was loud. Unless it was just you sounding like a girl back there.” I wasn’t amused but I wasn’t mad either.

“Quiet you!” he pointed his beer bottle at me.
Jacky gave Ronnie and I a funny look but said nothing and turned his attention to something else.

“Now I can get more coke!” I slipped from Ronnie’s arms and made my way to the front where the kitchen was. I pulled open the fridge, delving deeply for a two-litre coke bottle. When I closed the fridge I almost jumped out of my skin.

“FUCKER!” I yelled.

“Didn’t scare you did I?” Ronnie beamed childishly.

I grumbled and glared at him momentarily before putting my palms onto the countertop in front of me and staring down to it. Maybe I was a little drunker than I originally thought. Without another word Ronnie placed a hand on my hip and moved the hair from the side of my face with the other then began softly kissing up my neck. Within moments I relaxed and turned my head to connect our lips. The pure lust surging through my body spurred me to turn my whole self to face him and take a hold around his neck with firm force. The chances we could have pressed ourselves to one another any tighter were slim and I had now completely surrendered myself as I let the hunger take over. It wasn’t about what he wanted, it was about what I wanted and I wanted him with an insanity-induced passion. Somehow despite us both clearly having the same thing in mind it became a battle for ascendancy. I refused to part myself from him as our hands and tongues wandered each other with a feel of starved desperation. He backed me up towards the bunk area and as my back crashed into the side I immediately pushed him towards the other side. This continued until we reached my bunk and my back was beginning to hurt but I kind of liked it. I flung the curtain open and pulled him in with me. Unlike my brother and his random slut we could be quiet, well, apart from the banging.